If the Internet isolates you, you're doing it wrong.
You know what I'm sick of hearing about? How the Internet isolates people. I am boggled that anyone still believes this.
My theory is that if the Internet isolates you from humanity, then you're a person who would have been isolated with or without the Internet. You CAN use the Internet to isolate yourself. But if you do, then that's your choice. If you're isolated because of the Internet and don't want to be, then you're doing it wrong. Sure, there do exist those stereotypical basement Netheads who never come out and spend their lives in front of a computer and never talk to anyone. But would those people be any different if the Internet did not exist? Would they be social butterflies with full, rich social lives were it not for the demon influence of the wicked Tubes? Doubtful.
So how much can the Internet contributed to someone's social life? I decided to do a little experiment using myself as a test case, with the caveat that I may or may not be remotely representative of a typical Internet user. I think I am, more or less, probably on the more-dedicated-user end of the spectrum. So I totted up a list of all my friends who live in Columbus and who I see in person, and separated them into two columns: those I know because of the Internet, and those I met apart from the Internet.
First, I had to define what constituted a "friend." I decided to use the criteria that a friend would be someone that I'd feel comfortable calling up and inviting out for coffee or a movie or something, without it being part of a larger group. If I wouldn't feel comfortable socializing with this person outside of a group, then they're an acquaintance and do not count.
Also, I had to define what it meant to meet someone through the Internet. I have friends who I met through the Internet, and then I have friends who I met through THOSE friends. I decided that if a friend is someone I met through someone that I met on the Internet, they counted in the "Internet" column, because I would not have met them without the Internet.
I came up with a list of 38 local friends. Of those 38 friends, a whopping 25 of them are friends I know because of the Internet. Almost all of them fall into three categories: people I met through Rachel (who I met on the Internet), people I met through Donna (who I met on the Internet) and women I met through my hiking club (which is run through the Internet). Of the remaining thirteen friends, all of them except two are people I met through Brian, who I met while working at Borders.
Note that this does not even count the friends that I have all over the world, people I consider real friends (whether I've met them in person or not) who I met through the Internet. There are at least a dozen folks like that. Nor does it count friends from college or high school with whom I have been able to keep in better touch because of the Internet.
But I'm pretty social by nature. Where I see it again and again being a real asset to people's lives is for folks who aren't naturally social. In the fandom I'm in at the moment, there are a lot of teenagers who are creative and quirky and unusual. The sort of kids who sometimes have trouble socially in high school, in other words. And I see them online, having friendships and exchanging creative ideas and getting validation and support for being who they are. And I think, this might keep them from feeling depressed or alone. This might encourage their self-expression. This might bolster their self-esteem. This gives them a community, a place they feel like they belong, until they can get to college or someplace where there is a place for them.
Honestly, I can't imagine what my social life would look like were it not for the Internet. So many people that I can't imagine my life without would not be part of it. The social assistance it's given me has been immeasurable. So it always astonishes me when people grump about the modern world isolating us from others. What modern world are they living in? It must be very different from the one I live in.
My theory is that if the Internet isolates you from humanity, then you're a person who would have been isolated with or without the Internet. You CAN use the Internet to isolate yourself. But if you do, then that's your choice. If you're isolated because of the Internet and don't want to be, then you're doing it wrong. Sure, there do exist those stereotypical basement Netheads who never come out and spend their lives in front of a computer and never talk to anyone. But would those people be any different if the Internet did not exist? Would they be social butterflies with full, rich social lives were it not for the demon influence of the wicked Tubes? Doubtful.
So how much can the Internet contributed to someone's social life? I decided to do a little experiment using myself as a test case, with the caveat that I may or may not be remotely representative of a typical Internet user. I think I am, more or less, probably on the more-dedicated-user end of the spectrum. So I totted up a list of all my friends who live in Columbus and who I see in person, and separated them into two columns: those I know because of the Internet, and those I met apart from the Internet.
First, I had to define what constituted a "friend." I decided to use the criteria that a friend would be someone that I'd feel comfortable calling up and inviting out for coffee or a movie or something, without it being part of a larger group. If I wouldn't feel comfortable socializing with this person outside of a group, then they're an acquaintance and do not count.
Also, I had to define what it meant to meet someone through the Internet. I have friends who I met through the Internet, and then I have friends who I met through THOSE friends. I decided that if a friend is someone I met through someone that I met on the Internet, they counted in the "Internet" column, because I would not have met them without the Internet.
I came up with a list of 38 local friends. Of those 38 friends, a whopping 25 of them are friends I know because of the Internet. Almost all of them fall into three categories: people I met through Rachel (who I met on the Internet), people I met through Donna (who I met on the Internet) and women I met through my hiking club (which is run through the Internet). Of the remaining thirteen friends, all of them except two are people I met through Brian, who I met while working at Borders.
Note that this does not even count the friends that I have all over the world, people I consider real friends (whether I've met them in person or not) who I met through the Internet. There are at least a dozen folks like that. Nor does it count friends from college or high school with whom I have been able to keep in better touch because of the Internet.
But I'm pretty social by nature. Where I see it again and again being a real asset to people's lives is for folks who aren't naturally social. In the fandom I'm in at the moment, there are a lot of teenagers who are creative and quirky and unusual. The sort of kids who sometimes have trouble socially in high school, in other words. And I see them online, having friendships and exchanging creative ideas and getting validation and support for being who they are. And I think, this might keep them from feeling depressed or alone. This might encourage their self-expression. This might bolster their self-esteem. This gives them a community, a place they feel like they belong, until they can get to college or someplace where there is a place for them.
Honestly, I can't imagine what my social life would look like were it not for the Internet. So many people that I can't imagine my life without would not be part of it. The social assistance it's given me has been immeasurable. So it always astonishes me when people grump about the modern world isolating us from others. What modern world are they living in? It must be very different from the one I live in.