Late night shenanigans
Yes I am well aware of the times I write you dear readers. All two of you. Thanks for the loyality. I have lots that keep awake.
I have a family memeber that is doing poorly and its taking the whole family to help. However they refuse to do so and it falls to my mom and I. I am frustrated. Granted they do helo but not like they could and just infurates me that they wont step up. Oh well i guess i expect to much out of people. I assume that because I would go above and beyond for others with out even a second thought that others would do the same. I guess its the side effects if a bleeding heart type. It crushes me because im close with this person and respect them deeply that its hard for me to imagine not doing or wanting to do for them. Even when i have nothing i will go out my way for them.
I dont want suffering to be the mainstay when it can be easily avoided. I gladly give of my time even when i have none. I gladly give of my money when it means i will go with out. Why because they would do the same for me and have countless other times before. Its a small jesture in the end but its all i bave to offer.
I have fallen off the health band wagon again. Fall is here and i am in love with my fall smells treats and flavors. I am in love with the air the beauty the smells leaves halloween and all that jazz. Mind you eating fall treats and not having money to pay for my meds sometimes comes with a price and depression and bad eating habbits plus anxiety and a addiction to diet dr pepper Is a bad combo.
I spiral into the bad things because i lack a social life that i want. All the social things cost money and i dont have any. So there for i stay home and my crafting stuff becomes my escape.
I love my crafting and now that its fall i have the holidays to contend with. Doing for others. And making gifts. Things that help me not feel so isolated.
Did i mention fall and my love affair for fall. I wait all year for august september and october. The pumpkin spice and fall smells. The beautiful fall earth tones. The celbrations of life we have had thus far in the air. Pumpkin spice everything leaves and halloween. Halloween is my christmas. I love it. I love celbrating life and harvest. I am happy in the fall and spring. My two favorites... Fall the most. We give thanks for the bounties and blessings of life. We are reminded of life and its beauty. and i love the whole thing...
I guess my vast love affair with fall has keept me going. Something focus on. Something to enjoy in my sadness. Something to use to inspire me to feel good. I get hints of fall every day. I bring out my fall owls and my fall candles and get some new ones... And remember to be glad i woke up today. Honoring the souls who have passed glad and greatful they were with us. Remember the year in joy and gratitude.
Untill next time dear readers
Fall blessings