Gunna have fun!
Well it is 9 in the morning and once again i can't sleep.Wonder why? Well i worked all yesterday. 10 and half hours. Do u no how long that is. Its a long time. I thought i was going to die. Raybig better be glad he is cute b/c i ain't ever doin that again. Today i on;y work for three hours then me and Britt are goin out. Were going to pait the town. I finally not grounded and im going to have some fun. Yeah Yeah. But anyways i might go see Kevin tonight. Not sure why its kinda pointless but i really want to see him. EVen thou he has a girlfriend.Well not really much to say so ill update when i come back from Briits and tell you how much fun we had or how much trouble we got into.
Love
I came back to add more b/c all my others ones are so long that this one just didn't fit in. Well anyways... i was thinking about what i rote the other day. And i no i sounded very desperate but im not. JUst lonly... as i said before. But i no i got my friends and i no i don't need a guy to take care of me. I just want on there to hold me. But it will come back i have hope. Not sure when and i no that i can't rush things b/c then it won't be right. Just gotta let it happen. And im trying but maybe ill meet someone tonite. Or maybe something will happen between me and Kevin. Probable not but its a thought. Well also i might of made it sound like Lance didn't mean that much to me but he did. I meant the world three times over. He was my world. Its just that micheal was my world and i was his. I no i was never Lances world and i can't really be mad about that. I no he loved me in his own way and i no that now all he wants is for us to be able to be friends and to be able to be happy without one another. And i no that i don't make it that easy all the time. In fact i make t harder then it should be. And im sorry for that and i no that ive probable said that a million times over but i seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. I can't just seem to keep my mouth shut. But my bad and i no its me and no one else and i am taking the blam for that. But thats all. and with the whole lance thing i kinda have to take all the blame because he had never once yelled at me or called me names or anything. No motter how had i tried to get him to he never would. All i wanted him to do was argue back but he never would. And he never would when we were going out and i thank him for that b/c all i wanted to do was be mad. Me mad and take it out on everyone else but the person it belonged to. ME.Lance wanted to read my live journal and i think i mught as well let him. If anyone reads this and talks to lance tell him my name. Tell him to gt on and read it. He can no whatever he wants. MADDLY_CONFUSED. All he needs to no.
Love
Love
I came back to add more b/c all my others ones are so long that this one just didn't fit in. Well anyways... i was thinking about what i rote the other day. And i no i sounded very desperate but im not. JUst lonly... as i said before. But i no i got my friends and i no i don't need a guy to take care of me. I just want on there to hold me. But it will come back i have hope. Not sure when and i no that i can't rush things b/c then it won't be right. Just gotta let it happen. And im trying but maybe ill meet someone tonite. Or maybe something will happen between me and Kevin. Probable not but its a thought. Well also i might of made it sound like Lance didn't mean that much to me but he did. I meant the world three times over. He was my world. Its just that micheal was my world and i was his. I no i was never Lances world and i can't really be mad about that. I no he loved me in his own way and i no that now all he wants is for us to be able to be friends and to be able to be happy without one another. And i no that i don't make it that easy all the time. In fact i make t harder then it should be. And im sorry for that and i no that ive probable said that a million times over but i seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. I can't just seem to keep my mouth shut. But my bad and i no its me and no one else and i am taking the blam for that. But thats all. and with the whole lance thing i kinda have to take all the blame because he had never once yelled at me or called me names or anything. No motter how had i tried to get him to he never would. All i wanted him to do was argue back but he never would. And he never would when we were going out and i thank him for that b/c all i wanted to do was be mad. Me mad and take it out on everyone else but the person it belonged to. ME.Lance wanted to read my live journal and i think i mught as well let him. If anyone reads this and talks to lance tell him my name. Tell him to gt on and read it. He can no whatever he wants. MADDLY_CONFUSED. All he needs to no.
Love