(no subject)
She's back and I hate it. She wasn't allowed the house so now it's going to court BUT she can just walk in anytime she wants. I hate it she walks in and acts like she fucking owns the place! Yesterday I was stuck in my room for 7 hours cos she was here and I couldn't go down those stairs cos of her. I'M A PRISONER IN MY OWN FUCKING HOME!!! I kept sending texts to my dad from my room saying "Is she Gone" and I threatened to call the police cos she raised her voice and I said if she did I was calling them cos we don't have to put up with that. My dad said no don't. He came up to see me and saw the state I was in cos of her. I was crying and shaking. I was in a full blown panic attack and HE STILL LET HER STAY!!! I pass out from panic attacks so if I'd passed out and hit my head no one woulda known and I'd be dead.
I woke up yesterday to my dad shouting yeah see you in court. THEY WERE ARGUING IN THE FUCKING STREET!! He went and picked her up at the train station cos she claims she got on the wrong train and ended up in Eastleigh. now does Southampton and Eastleight sound the same? Er I think not! I know it's miles away from Southampton (I used to go to college there and had to take 2 buses) but I woulda made her fucking walk.
She had the cheek to make herself something to drink, changed the TV and just plain acted like she lived here still. She asks if she wants that cos this isn't her home anymore I don't give a fuck what the council say. My sister asked her to stay and watch a video cos she's fucking naive. She's only going to get hurt again.
I kept crying yesterday and nothing would cheer me up. She brought me a Paul McCartney video. Well I can't be brought so I don't want it. She got Vicky an Elvis video and Colin a Kurt Coban book. Colin HATES him. Rightly so he was nothing but a whiney bastard who had NO talent. lol can you tell I really hate that guy. So yeah it's like she's trying to buy us. She kept complaining that she has no money. Well that's not our fucking problem.
I then told my dad when she left how I feel. About the depression the the fact I came so close to taking the pills I have hidden in my room. He's threatened to have the doc commit me till I'm better cos over here you can commit someone aganist their will for 28 days. After that 28 days if the doc thinks your unstable you have to stay. He commits me all he'll be doing is killing me faster.
Today I woke up to my parents arguing. That hasn't happened since November and I got used to the quiet and now to wake up to that after 6 months... It's not nice. Well my mum was shouting and my dad was staying calm. I slept all day. I couldn't be bothered with any of it. I got up at 4 pm. No one was in. My mum came over a little after everyone got home so I went out for a walk. It was bloody freezing but I didn't care. I was out of the house. When I got home my mum was gone but was coming back cos her, my dad and my sister were going out. She came in when I was in the living room and said to me "I know you don't like me but we need to talk" I shook my head and she said "I don't think you realise how much I relly love you" I ignored it. My dad made me come out (well he said come on it's better than staying in by yourself and crying). It was quite uncomfortable but I was civil so I'm surprised that I was cos I so wanted to tell her what I thought but anytime I had to talk to her I was civil but very cold toward her. Me and my sister played pool and I was winning till the end when she fluked it and potted 2 balls and then potted the black. Then we played Hangman on the computer there and I knew that the answer to one was George Harrison and so I kept pressing the metters but you have to answer questions to be able to get the letters and she screwed the questions up. She's gone now and hugged me. I didn't wanna hug her. She's gone and is coming back again tomorrow. I wish she'd get lost I really do.
I have to see the doc tomorrow morning. I have such a bad pain in my lower right leg. It's a heavy kinda pain. Hard to expalin it. I'm worried that it's a blood clot cos the pills I take can cause that but then again it could be nothing but it's always best to get that sorta thing checked out. They can kill fast that's why they are called the fast but silent killer. Oh well it's likely nothing.
Well that's all I guess I can't be fucked to write anymore since no one really reads anyway.
I woke up yesterday to my dad shouting yeah see you in court. THEY WERE ARGUING IN THE FUCKING STREET!! He went and picked her up at the train station cos she claims she got on the wrong train and ended up in Eastleigh. now does Southampton and Eastleight sound the same? Er I think not! I know it's miles away from Southampton (I used to go to college there and had to take 2 buses) but I woulda made her fucking walk.
She had the cheek to make herself something to drink, changed the TV and just plain acted like she lived here still. She asks if she wants that cos this isn't her home anymore I don't give a fuck what the council say. My sister asked her to stay and watch a video cos she's fucking naive. She's only going to get hurt again.
I kept crying yesterday and nothing would cheer me up. She brought me a Paul McCartney video. Well I can't be brought so I don't want it. She got Vicky an Elvis video and Colin a Kurt Coban book. Colin HATES him. Rightly so he was nothing but a whiney bastard who had NO talent. lol can you tell I really hate that guy. So yeah it's like she's trying to buy us. She kept complaining that she has no money. Well that's not our fucking problem.
I then told my dad when she left how I feel. About the depression the the fact I came so close to taking the pills I have hidden in my room. He's threatened to have the doc commit me till I'm better cos over here you can commit someone aganist their will for 28 days. After that 28 days if the doc thinks your unstable you have to stay. He commits me all he'll be doing is killing me faster.
Today I woke up to my parents arguing. That hasn't happened since November and I got used to the quiet and now to wake up to that after 6 months... It's not nice. Well my mum was shouting and my dad was staying calm. I slept all day. I couldn't be bothered with any of it. I got up at 4 pm. No one was in. My mum came over a little after everyone got home so I went out for a walk. It was bloody freezing but I didn't care. I was out of the house. When I got home my mum was gone but was coming back cos her, my dad and my sister were going out. She came in when I was in the living room and said to me "I know you don't like me but we need to talk" I shook my head and she said "I don't think you realise how much I relly love you" I ignored it. My dad made me come out (well he said come on it's better than staying in by yourself and crying). It was quite uncomfortable but I was civil so I'm surprised that I was cos I so wanted to tell her what I thought but anytime I had to talk to her I was civil but very cold toward her. Me and my sister played pool and I was winning till the end when she fluked it and potted 2 balls and then potted the black. Then we played Hangman on the computer there and I knew that the answer to one was George Harrison and so I kept pressing the metters but you have to answer questions to be able to get the letters and she screwed the questions up. She's gone now and hugged me. I didn't wanna hug her. She's gone and is coming back again tomorrow. I wish she'd get lost I really do.
I have to see the doc tomorrow morning. I have such a bad pain in my lower right leg. It's a heavy kinda pain. Hard to expalin it. I'm worried that it's a blood clot cos the pills I take can cause that but then again it could be nothing but it's always best to get that sorta thing checked out. They can kill fast that's why they are called the fast but silent killer. Oh well it's likely nothing.
Well that's all I guess I can't be fucked to write anymore since no one really reads anyway.