(no subject)
Hey guys... Well as from tomorrow we may be homeless. My whore of a mother is coming back and she has the right to just walk into the house and throw us all out.. I dunno what to do about this cos what if she does this? I mean everything has been going our way so far but the council side with women more than men so they may just let my mum have it. My dad has been trying since November to get this house in his name but those dumb fucks think he's making the whole battered husband stuff up. Ummm.. well he has 6 kids that can testify it's the truth. If he was a battered wife he'd of had the house within a few days but no cs he's a man they don't care. He's wants to try for an injuction order and HOPEFULLY he will be allowed it otherwise we're screwed.
The other opition is we let her live here with us. FUCK THAT!!! SHE'S A VIOLENT BITCH!!! If she moves in I'm moving out. I don't know where I'll go but I'm not staying in the same house as her. I don't even want her in the same town I mean if she lives with her mother her mother lives just behind us and that's too close. Her mother doesn't know about this which proves my mother is up to something. I know this is harsh but I hope the damn train crashes on her way down here.
She has been sending texts to my little brother and I'm not sure how he feels about it but if she knocks on the door tomorrow he's likely to let her in. I have to watch that but he's taller than me so he could easily knock me out of the way. I'm not very pyschially strong either so.... He's easily used.
I've been just depressed lately since she started this up again and cos of how I'm trying to and seeming to keep it together and cleaning the house and it doesn't get appericated and gets messed up again the second I've finished. No one else helps ONLY me. It pisses me off. There's 3 of us in this house that can actually do something but I'm the only one that does. In reality I'm doing this stuff so I don't have to think cos the minute I think I start getting depressed like now. I dunno I'm putting on a front making it seem like I'm fine but I am not on the inside I'm falling apart and I want a way out and right now I don't care which way I take. I just want out.
I had a kind of breakdown Friday. I started shouting at everyone for no reason. I can't even remember what I was shouting.. Then I smashed something and then cried. It was scary and it was set off cos my brother was being a bastard and saying to my sister and me that we're just like mum. My sister told him to fuck off and I went mental.
I know none of you have heard it but the song "Always and Ever" by JJ72 makes me cry lately. It's not a sad song it's very upbeat so why do I cry? It's weird. I'll post the lyrics at the end of this entry.
Went to the wildlife centre and that was fun. A deer tried to eat my dads shirt. It walked up to him and tried eating it it was cute. But the African and Europeon egale owl is evil! OMG have you ever seen one in real life? They look fucking evil and scary! The picture looks nice but OMG when they look at you... you'd of been scared too. So that was the only good point expect for the fucking annoyingly loud kids.
Yeah so... as you can tell I'm not doing so good. I'll have to tell you how it goes and I'm hoping for the best outcome to this. My mind is to screwed to write anymore now so I'll chat later. If I'm still living here.
JJ72 - Always and Ever
Halfway to heaven I saw a light was on in your room
In the deep blue of emptiness my refuge so strong small
Through needles, by highways, I'll travel to your light
By chariots of fire, and chariots of ice
Here in your arms
The scent of your charms
Here in your arms
For always and forever
Oh always and forever
And always and ever
My Home is crap
All that I asked of you was more of the same
All I received from you was more of this pain
Always and ever
Oh always and ever
Oh always and ever
My Home
Here in your arms
The scent of your charms
Here in your arms
For always and ever
Oh always and ever
And always and ever
My Home
The other opition is we let her live here with us. FUCK THAT!!! SHE'S A VIOLENT BITCH!!! If she moves in I'm moving out. I don't know where I'll go but I'm not staying in the same house as her. I don't even want her in the same town I mean if she lives with her mother her mother lives just behind us and that's too close. Her mother doesn't know about this which proves my mother is up to something. I know this is harsh but I hope the damn train crashes on her way down here.
She has been sending texts to my little brother and I'm not sure how he feels about it but if she knocks on the door tomorrow he's likely to let her in. I have to watch that but he's taller than me so he could easily knock me out of the way. I'm not very pyschially strong either so.... He's easily used.
I've been just depressed lately since she started this up again and cos of how I'm trying to and seeming to keep it together and cleaning the house and it doesn't get appericated and gets messed up again the second I've finished. No one else helps ONLY me. It pisses me off. There's 3 of us in this house that can actually do something but I'm the only one that does. In reality I'm doing this stuff so I don't have to think cos the minute I think I start getting depressed like now. I dunno I'm putting on a front making it seem like I'm fine but I am not on the inside I'm falling apart and I want a way out and right now I don't care which way I take. I just want out.
I had a kind of breakdown Friday. I started shouting at everyone for no reason. I can't even remember what I was shouting.. Then I smashed something and then cried. It was scary and it was set off cos my brother was being a bastard and saying to my sister and me that we're just like mum. My sister told him to fuck off and I went mental.
I know none of you have heard it but the song "Always and Ever" by JJ72 makes me cry lately. It's not a sad song it's very upbeat so why do I cry? It's weird. I'll post the lyrics at the end of this entry.
Went to the wildlife centre and that was fun. A deer tried to eat my dads shirt. It walked up to him and tried eating it it was cute. But the African and Europeon egale owl is evil! OMG have you ever seen one in real life? They look fucking evil and scary! The picture looks nice but OMG when they look at you... you'd of been scared too. So that was the only good point expect for the fucking annoyingly loud kids.
Yeah so... as you can tell I'm not doing so good. I'll have to tell you how it goes and I'm hoping for the best outcome to this. My mind is to screwed to write anymore now so I'll chat later. If I'm still living here.
JJ72 - Always and Ever
Halfway to heaven I saw a light was on in your room
In the deep blue of emptiness my refuge so strong small
Through needles, by highways, I'll travel to your light
By chariots of fire, and chariots of ice
Here in your arms
The scent of your charms
Here in your arms
For always and forever
Oh always and forever
And always and ever
My Home is crap
All that I asked of you was more of the same
All I received from you was more of this pain
Always and ever
Oh always and ever
Oh always and ever
My Home
Here in your arms
The scent of your charms
Here in your arms
For always and ever
Oh always and ever
And always and ever
My Home