I've been having a little trouble with my plans for monkey piracy. The MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) and RIAA threatened to sue me for piracy, but oddly enough the Monkey/Primate Association of America didn't. These suits failed because they couldn't find a single judge who was willing to handle a lawsuit against a cute kitty cat ( Read more... )

I've got a new plan to make me rich and full at the same time. I'm going to pirate monkeys. All I need are a MonkeyCopy MR drive, an MW+ drive, and a copy of the MonkeyBurn 2.0 software. Oh, yeah. I'll also need a box of blank monkeys. I'll also need one original monkey, but that can be a loaner. I've heard that MonkeyBurn is easy to use. The ( Read more... )

I'm very full of food at the moment. I didn't really want to be this full when I started, but there was a lot in my bowl, and I thought, "Miss Kitty, how would you feel if some poor starving cat who doesn't read your journal managed to get inside and eat some of your food, just so it could have the energy to crawl another few feet? You'd never ( Read more... )

So for those of you who are cats or know people who are cats, I have an important public service announcement. Unagi, while mighty tasty, is hard to come by. Purina's Whisker Lickin's, chicken & liver flavors, is pretty freakin' tasty. Man alive, that's tasty stuff, and it's more than an acceptable substitute for unagi.

I went to the new food pyramid thingie to see if I could get a better idea of what I should be eating. Right now I'm getting some dry catfood plus whatever the jerks I live with will give me. It's not that I like being dependent, but using a can opener isn't easy with paws. Anyhow, I was hoping I could get some scientific evidence to prove that I ( Read more... )

I was sitting on the couch yesterday when two of my roommates came back from getting food. They took up positions on opposite ends of the couch, and soon after that I could smell chicken. The wonderful scent clearly originated from the one on the right side of the couch. I sniffed and sniffed, but I couldn't locate it. He did not appear to have any ( Read more... )

So if Dumbledore dies, can I eat Fawkes? It's not like he'll have a place to go.

I think we can add Logo to the list of lying languages, along with AWK, BLISS, and Mouse. Logo is sort of like Lisp or Scheme. Programming language experts call it a "functional" language, in contrast with C++ or something like that, which they call "nonfunctional." The idea is that you hold a conversation with a turtle, which moves around the ( Read more... )

We start with this boring and possibly deadly recipe:
1 cup orange juice (WTF?)
1 cup milk
8-10 ice cubes
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup sugarLet's take this to our team of experts and see what they can do with it ( Read more... )

I just read this article on Cognitive Daily, and the potential is amazing! Whenever I find yummy food around the house, I try to eat as much of it as I can. Unfortunately, I tend to get full. This is bad for several reasons. First, I like eating. It's fun. The more I can eat, the more I will enjoy life. Second, I've been losing weight. I'm down to ( Read more... )