something cracked
something inside of me just cracked.
it feels strange...
a painful numbness...
enya.
and everything looks different right now than it ever has before.
and...
i'm ok being alone.
i'm ok without any of you.
i want to be ok with myself.
and i want to know myself intimately.
because i can't expect anyone else to... if i can't...
there is a white haze over my eyes
and the skies look like never before
and when the moment comes
i'll know
just exactly where i am
and where i stand
and i can only speak for myself
but when i do i will do so
with faith, with power, and with heart
and i trust that you will take me
just exactly where i should be
to do the things i must
then when the mist has fallen
the haze will be lifted
and i wil know, and feel, and be
everything you created me for
i'm so thankful for that
when i get my first paycheck @ moog i think i will take myself to see some real music...
a concert... classical...
i want to soak up that kind of power right now. and feel it.
strength in unity. beauty through operative peace.
tons of pieces working together for one common goal.
i just realized what music is to me...
i just placed my heart in my own hands for the first time in my life...
without destroying it...
i'm not proud of myself.
of who i am. of what i am. what i know. what i do. what i believe.
but one day... i will be.
and thats what i'm working on now.
as for whatever it was that just cracked inside of me...
perhaps that is just exactly what i needed to happen...
i am alone. it is just me.
i am going to make myself more than just ok with that.
it feels strange...
a painful numbness...
enya.
and everything looks different right now than it ever has before.
and...
i'm ok being alone.
i'm ok without any of you.
i want to be ok with myself.
and i want to know myself intimately.
because i can't expect anyone else to... if i can't...
there is a white haze over my eyes
and the skies look like never before
and when the moment comes
i'll know
just exactly where i am
and where i stand
and i can only speak for myself
but when i do i will do so
with faith, with power, and with heart
and i trust that you will take me
just exactly where i should be
to do the things i must
then when the mist has fallen
the haze will be lifted
and i wil know, and feel, and be
everything you created me for
i'm so thankful for that
when i get my first paycheck @ moog i think i will take myself to see some real music...
a concert... classical...
i want to soak up that kind of power right now. and feel it.
strength in unity. beauty through operative peace.
tons of pieces working together for one common goal.
i just realized what music is to me...
i just placed my heart in my own hands for the first time in my life...
without destroying it...
i'm not proud of myself.
of who i am. of what i am. what i know. what i do. what i believe.
but one day... i will be.
and thats what i'm working on now.
as for whatever it was that just cracked inside of me...
perhaps that is just exactly what i needed to happen...
i am alone. it is just me.
i am going to make myself more than just ok with that.