Sep 29, 2011 03:31
So my mom found some gambling receipts in my dad's work bag after he promised he'd quit months ago. bullshit. such bullshit. I wish she could see what he's doing and who he really is. He's been a bullshitter and the most unreliable person i've known in my entire life. i just wish she could realize that. maybe now, after being played so many times, she can see that. I understand she loves him, but this is stressing out the whole family, and drawing it out just makes everything so much worse. i need to leave, i need to get out, but i can't just leave her.
I want to go back to college. i miss being on my own and going to class and learning. work is great and all and i really love my job, but i'll never make any money. i guess i'll go for nursing since i could still work in an ER and be involved with EMS at the same time-i really don't want to lose that. I just feel like I missed out on the whole college experience. I mean, I had it for a little over a year, but then i dropped out. depressing to think people i began college with as a freshman will be graduating this year. Honestly though, I feel like i do so much more for society by working on the streets making a measly ~$10 an hour than i would sitting behind a desk or anything. I just wish people would appreciate or recognize it or something. it's frustrating.
I had something else to rant about, however, it's not coming to mind at the moment. oh well.