So torn.
I feel like today I went from feeling sad from being lonely to feeling almost insane from being lonely. All I wanted was to go home. But then tonight I looked up flights and found there is a cheap one to Toronto on January 7th. And I suddenly felt like I don't want to leave yet! But I still feel like I can't stay here unless it's going to further my career. I need a purpose. But I still feel somewhat torn apparently. Because even though I felt lonely today I objectively know I won't feel that way every day. But I'm still homesick. But as soon as I imagine getting on a plane Friday, I feel less homesick. I guess wanting something really bad is kind of scary because how often are things people want badly not as fantastic as people imagine. Sometimes all I want is to be home for a short time to recharge my batteries and then to come back but that's not possible.
Well, anyway, aside from the cheap flight on January 7th, it's hardly more expensive to stay until February because late January is when flights get cheaper and I said I'd give three weeks notice to get my deposit back. And even though I'm looking forward to seeing people in Canada, I feel like I'll be happier at home if I go there after I get a job offer for South Korea. And Aurelie gets back on the 5th and others get back to Cambridge soon.
Well, anyway, aside from the cheap flight on January 7th, it's hardly more expensive to stay until February because late January is when flights get cheaper and I said I'd give three weeks notice to get my deposit back. And even though I'm looking forward to seeing people in Canada, I feel like I'll be happier at home if I go there after I get a job offer for South Korea. And Aurelie gets back on the 5th and others get back to Cambridge soon.