Of Downward Spirals and Future Additions
Dear Trent Reznor,
Will you please be my lover? No strings attached; I will do anything you want without complaint. I cannot get enough of your mind and your voice. Surely that translates to how you are in other parts of your life. Here I am; come and get me.
From an ever-devoted fan of your orgasmic compositions and lyrics,
Me
I wish I had discovered the thrill that is Nine Inch Nails earlier in my life. Granted, I was naive then (though far from innocent) and was just discovering my true self. I am upset that it took years to do that, and thus, I had to wait until after college to revel in the lust and mindfuck that is Trent Reznor's music. I cannot elaborate on how the sounds relax me and the lyrics enchant me all while turning me on to levels I though impossible through mere intangible sound. I love the anger and the darkness, the sex and the cruelty, the bitterness and the devotion, the brutal honesty. I cannot listen to The Downward Spiral without my heart rate increasing, and I cannot enjoy With Teeth without letting my mind forget everything else but the music and the images it creates.
Randomly, sometimes I feel that I live several alternate existences. A family persona, a work persona, a friend persona, and the real persona. Funny thing is, I don't ever want to mix these together and live a "true" life. There is power and comfort in splitting the factions of yourself. I can be whatever I want to be, when I want to be. I can be your devoted sister. I can be your determined teacher. I can be your compassionate figure. I can be your caring friend. I can be your destruction, but you would never see it coming. And I can be your savior. All while I can be me, just for myself. I suppose it is a measure of protection and self-preservation in a world where being yourself can mean not getting what you want.
Now, let's journey away from a trip down Metaphysical Lane. Tomorrow I want to get my Tragus pierced. For those of you wondering, that is the little flap of cartilage that pokes out from your cheek and partially covers the entrance into the ear. I am going to inspect a local place I have heard about, and I hope that they provided the "punching" technique (when a needle actually removes the cartilage rather than push it aside - this leads to faster healing and less discomfort, also a better chance at the whole never closing should I need to remove my jewelry ever). I have been thinking about this for at least four years now. My next piercing will probably be triples on my lobes, followed by another piercing of some fashion. Then another tattoo on my lower/middle back.
I will make certain to take pictures of the new piercing. Until then, I am going to enjoy a shower and watch movies while working on an exam for my students on Monday.
Oh, yes, and I don't think that I love him anymore. Nor do I hate him, either. He was the catalyst that at first held me back, but then shot me forward beyond the mark to where I am today. I can appreciate him and his time with me for what it was worth: the struggle between who I really am and who everyone else wanted me to be.
A thousand lips, a thousand tongues/A thousand throats, a thousand lungs/A thousand ways to make it true/I want to do terrible things to you.
I am telling you, it can hardly get better than this! Obviously, Reznor is god's darker thoughs imbodied. *sigh*
Will you please be my lover? No strings attached; I will do anything you want without complaint. I cannot get enough of your mind and your voice. Surely that translates to how you are in other parts of your life. Here I am; come and get me.
From an ever-devoted fan of your orgasmic compositions and lyrics,
Me
I wish I had discovered the thrill that is Nine Inch Nails earlier in my life. Granted, I was naive then (though far from innocent) and was just discovering my true self. I am upset that it took years to do that, and thus, I had to wait until after college to revel in the lust and mindfuck that is Trent Reznor's music. I cannot elaborate on how the sounds relax me and the lyrics enchant me all while turning me on to levels I though impossible through mere intangible sound. I love the anger and the darkness, the sex and the cruelty, the bitterness and the devotion, the brutal honesty. I cannot listen to The Downward Spiral without my heart rate increasing, and I cannot enjoy With Teeth without letting my mind forget everything else but the music and the images it creates.
Randomly, sometimes I feel that I live several alternate existences. A family persona, a work persona, a friend persona, and the real persona. Funny thing is, I don't ever want to mix these together and live a "true" life. There is power and comfort in splitting the factions of yourself. I can be whatever I want to be, when I want to be. I can be your devoted sister. I can be your determined teacher. I can be your compassionate figure. I can be your caring friend. I can be your destruction, but you would never see it coming. And I can be your savior. All while I can be me, just for myself. I suppose it is a measure of protection and self-preservation in a world where being yourself can mean not getting what you want.
Now, let's journey away from a trip down Metaphysical Lane. Tomorrow I want to get my Tragus pierced. For those of you wondering, that is the little flap of cartilage that pokes out from your cheek and partially covers the entrance into the ear. I am going to inspect a local place I have heard about, and I hope that they provided the "punching" technique (when a needle actually removes the cartilage rather than push it aside - this leads to faster healing and less discomfort, also a better chance at the whole never closing should I need to remove my jewelry ever). I have been thinking about this for at least four years now. My next piercing will probably be triples on my lobes, followed by another piercing of some fashion. Then another tattoo on my lower/middle back.
I will make certain to take pictures of the new piercing. Until then, I am going to enjoy a shower and watch movies while working on an exam for my students on Monday.
Oh, yes, and I don't think that I love him anymore. Nor do I hate him, either. He was the catalyst that at first held me back, but then shot me forward beyond the mark to where I am today. I can appreciate him and his time with me for what it was worth: the struggle between who I really am and who everyone else wanted me to be.
A thousand lips, a thousand tongues/A thousand throats, a thousand lungs/A thousand ways to make it true/I want to do terrible things to you.
I am telling you, it can hardly get better than this! Obviously, Reznor is god's darker thoughs imbodied. *sigh*