(even the good) life sux

[luvpumpkin]

i think i only like life in theory.
i love writing when the mood hits me.
i love reading when i have a good book in front of me.
i love art and long to purchase more and more of it.

but the everyday shit - i hate.
work. both the practice and the idea.
friends.
moods.
meds.
therapy.
having to go to school after school to do what i wana do.
having to figure out over and over again what that even is.

i believe i will forever be haunted and hunted down by this creature of ick.
the sickening sense that i am forever on the verge on falling down a never ending hole of blackness

and the secret hope that i fall sooner than later.