Sick
Sitting here sick...wondering if I should call in sick again because I am miserably weak.
Good news my brother is coming into town, but only because his girlfriend of like 3 years or more had an affair with a president candidate-Dennis Kuccinich. Ouch!!! Thats really gotta suck/hard.
My mom tried to remind me how bad I had felt after finding out my boyfriend had an "attraction" to his friend that I was always jealous of for some reason. And the reason turned up 3 months later. Makes me upset to think he could do that shit, but he says its becuase he didnt really care about me in the beginning because he saw how wild and lu de I acted in TJ. Some type of shit up excuse If I am asked about it. He always has a fucking excuse.
Today I tried to pray. Only to find out some answers. I need spirituality and I want that ground. I have denied God for a long time eversince I turned about 14 and started having sex and using drugs as an escape. But I want some ground. I dont do drugs, and I want to claim my life back and fulfill all my dreams of grandeur. I am a capricorn I have a lot I need to achieve. So I felt like asking a God fore support and wisdom to guide me back on to track that will help me attain my goals.
I know that I need school to achieve my goals. And I have that right in front of me. The only thing thats kept me away is me. My priorities have gotten out of allignment. I had gotten so over-whelmed by all that I was doing and I dropped a most important priority-my education. During that time I started to smoke and drink coffee and eat very poorly. I changed jobs and changed boyfriends and then I ended up changing where I lived all in about three months. After that I was overwhelmed. My life was so different. And I chose to deal with it in a harmful way. Just because I was unable to deal with the change appropiately. And i quit school when the tacher had changed too. How weird is it to g back and reflect and see what you've done. I am no longer angry with myself and see why this all took place. It all must have happened for a reason I still havent figured it out but I accept what I did. Now I am ready to move on I've already quit smoking and am not drinking coffee. Only things left to do are: Remaining away from gluten, and going back to school, and perhaps being a neater and more organized inivisual. And shortly I will come back on top and be where I am destined to be. I also am trying to gain a higher consciousness and will hopefully begin to meditate again. But i need to find my tapes.
Good news my brother is coming into town, but only because his girlfriend of like 3 years or more had an affair with a president candidate-Dennis Kuccinich. Ouch!!! Thats really gotta suck/hard.
My mom tried to remind me how bad I had felt after finding out my boyfriend had an "attraction" to his friend that I was always jealous of for some reason. And the reason turned up 3 months later. Makes me upset to think he could do that shit, but he says its becuase he didnt really care about me in the beginning because he saw how wild and lu de I acted in TJ. Some type of shit up excuse If I am asked about it. He always has a fucking excuse.
Today I tried to pray. Only to find out some answers. I need spirituality and I want that ground. I have denied God for a long time eversince I turned about 14 and started having sex and using drugs as an escape. But I want some ground. I dont do drugs, and I want to claim my life back and fulfill all my dreams of grandeur. I am a capricorn I have a lot I need to achieve. So I felt like asking a God fore support and wisdom to guide me back on to track that will help me attain my goals.
I know that I need school to achieve my goals. And I have that right in front of me. The only thing thats kept me away is me. My priorities have gotten out of allignment. I had gotten so over-whelmed by all that I was doing and I dropped a most important priority-my education. During that time I started to smoke and drink coffee and eat very poorly. I changed jobs and changed boyfriends and then I ended up changing where I lived all in about three months. After that I was overwhelmed. My life was so different. And I chose to deal with it in a harmful way. Just because I was unable to deal with the change appropiately. And i quit school when the tacher had changed too. How weird is it to g back and reflect and see what you've done. I am no longer angry with myself and see why this all took place. It all must have happened for a reason I still havent figured it out but I accept what I did. Now I am ready to move on I've already quit smoking and am not drinking coffee. Only things left to do are: Remaining away from gluten, and going back to school, and perhaps being a neater and more organized inivisual. And shortly I will come back on top and be where I am destined to be. I also am trying to gain a higher consciousness and will hopefully begin to meditate again. But i need to find my tapes.