Who says all is fair in love and war?
Some days I just feel like this. It feels like a personality disorder or something. I had the best weekend...it came to an abrupt end, though. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about him. Thoughts kept running through my mind that I really didn't want to think about. Is it really to good to be true? Sure feels like it.
Some people agree with it, some people don't...either way you look at it...I love him now. I can't help but feeling stuck, like, what if something does happen between us? I don't know what I'd do w/o him in my life to make me happy. No one else does. I have friends, of course, but none with the ability to care for me like he does. I hate feeling like no one understands or even gives a shit. I'm happier then I've been in so long, and there aren't too many people who are happy for me. Why is that? If I'm happy, and my friends are good friends, then they should care...shouldn't they? I don't know.
Cassy doesn't go to Yale anymore. She started going to Memphis today. I didn't even find out untill Thursday that she was leaving...she told me that Mr.Jacobson asked her about me and she said she couldn't look at me w/o wanting to cry. Of course that should make me feel loved, but it doesn't. I can't help but think that in a sense, Cassy has already walked out of my life and slammed the door in my face. Her mom doesn't want us to hang out, and now she doesn't even go to the same school as me. I had a best friend, someone to talk to, hang out with, and now am I sapposed to think that this is just some kind of break in our friendship? Because it sure as hell feels like a sad ending. Not to say that's surprising....my relationships with people don't usually tend to work out in the end.
Some people agree with it, some people don't...either way you look at it...I love him now. I can't help but feeling stuck, like, what if something does happen between us? I don't know what I'd do w/o him in my life to make me happy. No one else does. I have friends, of course, but none with the ability to care for me like he does. I hate feeling like no one understands or even gives a shit. I'm happier then I've been in so long, and there aren't too many people who are happy for me. Why is that? If I'm happy, and my friends are good friends, then they should care...shouldn't they? I don't know.
Cassy doesn't go to Yale anymore. She started going to Memphis today. I didn't even find out untill Thursday that she was leaving...she told me that Mr.Jacobson asked her about me and she said she couldn't look at me w/o wanting to cry. Of course that should make me feel loved, but it doesn't. I can't help but think that in a sense, Cassy has already walked out of my life and slammed the door in my face. Her mom doesn't want us to hang out, and now she doesn't even go to the same school as me. I had a best friend, someone to talk to, hang out with, and now am I sapposed to think that this is just some kind of break in our friendship? Because it sure as hell feels like a sad ending. Not to say that's surprising....my relationships with people don't usually tend to work out in the end.