We were just kids when I first kissed you
Today was bullshit.
* I almost didn't have to go to school, but Tara blew it
* I almost got to leave early, but Bert wasn't around
* I feel like shit
* I've decided upon having one too many responsabilities
..I called Brandon for Bert because he wanted to talk to him and Brandon said he wouldn't be around, that he was going to his friends house in Detroit to play some guitar. Now I know why I hate having a boyfriend. I called him back after I talked to him to ask if he could stop by earlier then an hour and he didn't answer his phone, called back like 20 minutes later...still didn't answer. Hmm... the stupid little things that frustrate me. I think he kind of sensed a litte hostility in my voice when I actually did talk to him...because I sort of ended the phone call in a bitchy-like tone. I'm sorry, I'm stressed.
Brandon almost drives me crazy, because I'm the kind of person who gets in a bad mood and takes it out on everything and everyone around me. Except when I talk to him (especially when I see him) I can't stay mad... and I feel so guilty for being a bitch. It's a fucking paradox. I guess it's my nature to be as screwed up as I am. I love him, I really do, there's just something inside of me that keeps holding me back from being the best I can for him. Maybe I'm just a little skeptical about "us. " Last night he was saying how titles lead to possesion, and it made me feel like shit. I felt like he didn't want me to be his girlfriend or something...I don't know. I'm known for thinking too much. I hate it. I love it, but I hate it at the same time.
I just need a fat J to clear my mind...hmm, thanks.
I just can't wait untill today is over with.