(no subject)
it's been a while. my sister downloaded this retarted game on not only our computer in ct, but the one in ny and my nanas and they're all pretty much shit now. the one in ny is totally crashed.
anyway, i'm going out with brandon and i'm really loving it. everyday he comes over and we lay in my bed and just makeout for hours. we try to do something else but before we can leave, he's carrying me back to the bed and we're kissing for another twenty minutes. valentines day was amazing. there was a huge blizzard and we got the day off. alex brought these two guys over, who were fucking hilarious. they brought booze and a bag, and while i waited for brandon we drank a bottle of whiskey, and took a few too many bong hits. brandon showed up, two hours late and it turned out he walked all the way from his house to mine because he had no other way there. i felt so bad. he was so cold, and it's soo far away. and the other guys left, and he told me he just left my present at his grandparents house the night before. so we decided to walk there, and even though it was freezing it was so amazing. i've never seen so much snow in my entire life. on the side of the road it was probably three feet taller than me! anyway, we got there and he gave me a dozen red roses, really nice candles, and watermelon lotion stuff. it was all so nice. i had thurs. and fri. off and now i have the entire week off of school.
it's so hard to not just have sex with him but i wont let myself. the longer i wait the better. i need to be a lot better than i am now anyway. my dad hired hannah and i a personal trainer. i feel muscles popping up all over my body, but i'm still fat. i'm eating so healthy, and noticing a difference in my skin and hair, but i'm still really fat. to be honest i don't know how brandon even likes me. he's cute, and i'm just fat. but it'll be okay, i'll get in shape. my birthday is coming up and maybe we can do it then. i dont know.. i'm still happy and excited even though i'm crying because i'm still fat. i wonder if one day i will just wake up and not be ugly anymore.
anyway, i'm going out with brandon and i'm really loving it. everyday he comes over and we lay in my bed and just makeout for hours. we try to do something else but before we can leave, he's carrying me back to the bed and we're kissing for another twenty minutes. valentines day was amazing. there was a huge blizzard and we got the day off. alex brought these two guys over, who were fucking hilarious. they brought booze and a bag, and while i waited for brandon we drank a bottle of whiskey, and took a few too many bong hits. brandon showed up, two hours late and it turned out he walked all the way from his house to mine because he had no other way there. i felt so bad. he was so cold, and it's soo far away. and the other guys left, and he told me he just left my present at his grandparents house the night before. so we decided to walk there, and even though it was freezing it was so amazing. i've never seen so much snow in my entire life. on the side of the road it was probably three feet taller than me! anyway, we got there and he gave me a dozen red roses, really nice candles, and watermelon lotion stuff. it was all so nice. i had thurs. and fri. off and now i have the entire week off of school.
it's so hard to not just have sex with him but i wont let myself. the longer i wait the better. i need to be a lot better than i am now anyway. my dad hired hannah and i a personal trainer. i feel muscles popping up all over my body, but i'm still fat. i'm eating so healthy, and noticing a difference in my skin and hair, but i'm still really fat. to be honest i don't know how brandon even likes me. he's cute, and i'm just fat. but it'll be okay, i'll get in shape. my birthday is coming up and maybe we can do it then. i dont know.. i'm still happy and excited even though i'm crying because i'm still fat. i wonder if one day i will just wake up and not be ugly anymore.