<3
R.I.P. my beloved Snickers... the kitties don't use their journal anymore, but it's still a nice place for memorializing. Only two of the original five remain.
I haven't had to make that horrible decision a pet owner ever has to make in over 8 years, and I feel fortunate to have been blessed with 14 wonderful years with my little kitty.
Snix has had health issues in recent years, but she started going downhill fast, last weekend. I took her to the vet on Thursday (my day off) to get pain meds; I didn't feel like she was ready to go quite yet, because she was eating and drinking, cuddling everyone... she still seemed interested in things. I was trying to remember how I "just knew," in the times before this. I remember feeling certain then, and I wasn't certain at all with her. Maybe because they had cancer and I knew they were in pain? But she kept trying to get behind the ginormous arcade game in my AZ room, so I knew the time was coming -- it's not like her to hide from people. She loved people. I had to block it off and she still kept trying to go there. Any time I brought her inside, she just went back out there. The vet thought she was anemic, and circulation issues could be causing her scary-low body temp of 94, but I opted not to do all the tests. I asked if she thought she was in pain, and the vet attributed her difficulty moving to weakness more than pain. She gave her a 72-hour shot of something for pain relief anyway, because we wanted to make sure. I didn't get much sleep that night, wondering how she was doing.
Yesterday morning, Snickers wouldn't eat or drink. I sat with her for about fifteen minutes before calling my boss in tears; I started babbling about how I was scared to leave her, afraid she'd die alone and I'd come home from work and find her, that I thought it would happen soon but if it didn't maybe I could put her down in a few hours and come to work later... she of course just told me to take the day off. She also offered to go to the vet with me, which I thought was incredibly generous of her seeing as how she's wussier than I am about that sort of thing. Anyway, I thought Snickers was going to go at any minute, just by looking at her... but if she didn't, I would spend all day and all night with her, and bring her to the vet the next day (today) to end it. NOW I "just knew." What she was experiencing was no longer life. So I spent the entire day with her, by that dang arcade game :) Kinda warm back there. I hope the heat felt good to her. She wouldn't even drink from a syringe, and she could barely move. Around 8pm I brought her inside and laid her on my bed, and I think she was still trying to go out back, but was too weak. I told her I would stay up with her -- because how could I sleep, knowing it was her last night on Earth? -- I just wanted us to be comfy on my bed. Sweet girl that she was, she passed away around bedtime so I wouldn't have to struggle to keep going when I was already exhausted (I was up another 3 hours after that, but she couldn't have known that). Or maybe she was just waiting for her favorite person, my "housemate", to get home and say goodbye. She clearly knew it when he was there, which was awesome to see, and she died maybe an hour after that.
This is the first time it's happened this way, where the death was natural and not administered by the vet. I'm still keeping the appointment today so they can cremate her, and I can put her ashes next to the other kitties' gone before her, whom she loved so much. I like to think they're all together now ♥
I haven't had to make that horrible decision a pet owner ever has to make in over 8 years, and I feel fortunate to have been blessed with 14 wonderful years with my little kitty.
Snix has had health issues in recent years, but she started going downhill fast, last weekend. I took her to the vet on Thursday (my day off) to get pain meds; I didn't feel like she was ready to go quite yet, because she was eating and drinking, cuddling everyone... she still seemed interested in things. I was trying to remember how I "just knew," in the times before this. I remember feeling certain then, and I wasn't certain at all with her. Maybe because they had cancer and I knew they were in pain? But she kept trying to get behind the ginormous arcade game in my AZ room, so I knew the time was coming -- it's not like her to hide from people. She loved people. I had to block it off and she still kept trying to go there. Any time I brought her inside, she just went back out there. The vet thought she was anemic, and circulation issues could be causing her scary-low body temp of 94, but I opted not to do all the tests. I asked if she thought she was in pain, and the vet attributed her difficulty moving to weakness more than pain. She gave her a 72-hour shot of something for pain relief anyway, because we wanted to make sure. I didn't get much sleep that night, wondering how she was doing.
Yesterday morning, Snickers wouldn't eat or drink. I sat with her for about fifteen minutes before calling my boss in tears; I started babbling about how I was scared to leave her, afraid she'd die alone and I'd come home from work and find her, that I thought it would happen soon but if it didn't maybe I could put her down in a few hours and come to work later... she of course just told me to take the day off. She also offered to go to the vet with me, which I thought was incredibly generous of her seeing as how she's wussier than I am about that sort of thing. Anyway, I thought Snickers was going to go at any minute, just by looking at her... but if she didn't, I would spend all day and all night with her, and bring her to the vet the next day (today) to end it. NOW I "just knew." What she was experiencing was no longer life. So I spent the entire day with her, by that dang arcade game :) Kinda warm back there. I hope the heat felt good to her. She wouldn't even drink from a syringe, and she could barely move. Around 8pm I brought her inside and laid her on my bed, and I think she was still trying to go out back, but was too weak. I told her I would stay up with her -- because how could I sleep, knowing it was her last night on Earth? -- I just wanted us to be comfy on my bed. Sweet girl that she was, she passed away around bedtime so I wouldn't have to struggle to keep going when I was already exhausted (I was up another 3 hours after that, but she couldn't have known that). Or maybe she was just waiting for her favorite person, my "housemate", to get home and say goodbye. She clearly knew it when he was there, which was awesome to see, and she died maybe an hour after that.
This is the first time it's happened this way, where the death was natural and not administered by the vet. I'm still keeping the appointment today so they can cremate her, and I can put her ashes next to the other kitties' gone before her, whom she loved so much. I like to think they're all together now ♥