The Love That Remains - Chapter 20/22
Jensen’s voice is barely a whisper and his eyes are as wide as saucers as he takes a look at his mother and sister, who look frozen in their spots. Donna suddenly bursts into tears when she takes a look at Jensen.
“Jensen baby, oh my God…” She takes a step forward and reaches out her arms, but Jensen steps back, holding up both hands.
“No! Stay away! I want nothing to do with you!”
“Jensen please…” His mother whines, but Jensen doesn’t budge.
“I need you to leave right now, please.” Jensen is still as stone, trying to remain composed.
Donna opens her mouth but Mackenzie beats her to it.
“Jensen, please.” She starts with tears in her eyes, and god Jensen doesn’t even recognize the voice of his now adult sister. “I understand you have all the reasons in the world to not want to see us, but I promise we just want to talk to you. I just ask for one chance, please. It’s a lot to ask I know, but I’m begging you. We just want to talk to you, and then you can kick us out… if you still want to.”
Jensen considers both women in front of him, both strangers to him now. He has already been hurt so much, so he decides to do as his sister asks. There’s not much they can say to him that would be worse than what he has been through already. Plus, if Jared can listen to his family, so can Jensen. He doesn’t answer, just walks back inside leaving the door open behind him. His mother and sister take the opportunity and walk inside, closing the door.
“I’m listening.” Jensen’s voice is devoid of any emotion as he turns and faces his mother and sister, who are shyly looking around.
“How have you been, Jensen? I missed you so much baby.” Donna’s voice is teary, but Jensen only looks at her.
“Funny how you ask that now, ten years too late. How did you find me?”
“I… after you called, I wanted nothing more than to find you. Well, I always have, but now… things are different. Stephen is in jail, and I hired a detective so we could find your whereabouts. I just needed to see you, son. I always wondered what happened to you.”
Jensen laughs, and it’s very bitter. “Oh, you wanna know? Okay, here you go. After I went to live with your lovely aunt, who also didn’t accept who I was, I left her house, lived here and there and when my money was over, I came back to Dallas and started living on the streets. I stole money and did other stuff too, so I could get drugs. That’s right mom, your lovely son turned into a junkie. A homeless junkie. I didn’t care if I lived or died anymore. I didn’t feel anything. And you know who saved me? Jared. The guy your nephew fucking kidnapped. I mugged him and instead of pressing charges, he took me to his rehab clinic and helped me. I’m clean and I have a home now, only because of him. Even more than that, it turns out he’s the love of my life. We had a good life here, we didn’t have much but we were happy. But apparently, your nephew couldn’t stand that when he saw us at the bar. It had nothing to do with him, but he decided to try and put an end to our happiness regardless. So apparently, even after ten years, this family keeps fucking me over. That’s how I’ve been.”
Jensen finishes, fuming, and waits for his words to sink in. Donna and Mackenzie look at him with her mouths open.
“Oh my god, Jensen…” Donna starts, tears running down her face. “I had no idea, baby…”
“Of course you didn’t. You people threw me out of your house, when I was badly bruised, because you couldn’t accept who I was. Your own son. You have no idea the shit I went through all of these years!”
Donna lets out a long breath, looking defeated. “You are right. There’s nothing I can say to make up for all we did to you. But I only came here to apologize, Jensen. I know an apology isn’t nearly enough, but it’s how I can start. I never forgave myself for you leaving like that. I wanted to reach out to you, but your father… you know him. And I was a coward. When I heard you had left my aunt’s house, I desperately wanted to know what had happened to you, but your father forbade me to seek information, and again I was a coward. I was scared of him and you paid the price. I can never redeem myself from all of this. Alan, he… died. A few months ago, from a heart attack. And ever since, I’ve been thinking more and more about trying to find you, find out what happened to you. When you called… I couldn’t sleep for days, I didn’t rest until I found out your location. I’m not asking you to forgive us, Jensen. That’s almost impossible to expect, I know we hurt you too much. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am you had to go through all of this, and how horrible I feel because it’s our fault and we could have prevented it. I just wanted you to know that I’ve always loved you, and you’ve always been my son. And maybe, someday, we could be a part of each other’s lives again, even a small part. I don’t judge you anymore because of your love life baby, if you’re happy then I’m happy for you. I want you to know that.”
There’s a turmoil going inside Jensen’s mind at Donna’s words. First he realizes he isn’t even sad upon hearing his father has passed away. Alan hasn’t been his father for a long time anyway. He always knew his mother wasn’t the one responsible for him being expelled from his house. She just didn’t do anything to stop it, and that hurt almost just as much. But Donna is here saying she’s sorry, and that she wants to be a part of his life now. Jensen is too fragile after everything that has happened, and he wants nothing more than to turn to his mother for comfort, like he did when he was a child. But too much has happened and he has been too hurt. He needs time to think this through.
So he faces both his mother and sister and breathes in a few times to steady himself. “Look. I don’t hate you. Despite everything, you’re still my family. But I can’t suddenly forget everything that has happened. That you didn’t stand up for me, and that I had to go through all that shit and will be an addict until I die. I won’t say I forgive you for now, but I won’t shut you out. I’m going through a lot right now, Jared is still in the hospital and it has been hard.” Jensen walks to the counter and writes his number down on a piece of paper, handing it to his mother. “This is my phone number. If you want… you can call me. I’m not making any promises here, but I can try. Just… give me some time, please.”
Donna takes it, nodding and giving her son a teary smile. She tentatively steps forward and raises a hand, gently touching Jensen’s cheek. He doesn’t jerk away and lets her have at it, but he doesn’t lean into it, either.
“Thank you baby, thank you so much. I’ll be in touch, I promise.”
At that, Donna and Mackenzie leave, and Jensen finally breaks down, a storm of emotion hitting him at once.
Jared has to insist that Jensen tells him what’s bothering him so much. He had asked if it was about him, if after the shock Jensen was finally coming to his senses and was feeling upset with the things Jared had done. It hurt Jensen to see that Jared still thought it was his fault, and it would obviously take some time for him to convince his boyfriend otherwise.
“It’s not you, Jay…”, Jensen says as he plays with Jared’s long fingers, not able to meet his eyes. “Just that some stuff happened, but you’re already going through a lot, and I don’t wanna burden you with more crap.”
Jared reaches out and places a finger under Jensen’s chin, tilting his head up, and forcing his boyfriend to look at him. “You’re not gonna bother me, Jen. If we are together in this, we need to trust each other with everything. Please tell me what happened.”
A tear escapes Jensen’s eye. “My mom and sister, they… came to pay me a visit.”
Jensen tells Jared everything that happened, and by the end he’s crying openly. “I’m just not sure what to feel Jay, they hurt me so much, but they are my family… I want to believe my mom when she tells me she’s sorry and that she wants me in her life again, but at the same time I can’t forget all the shit I went through because of them.”
Jared sighs, and squeezes Jensen’s hand. “I’m so sorry all of this happened. But at the end of the day, they are your family, Jen. Your mother reached out to you, and she’s trying. I’m not saying you should forgive her right now, but you can take small steps. When she calls, talk to her, you guys should learn about each other’s lives again. It won’t be easy but if you’re open to it, you can get your family back.”
Jensen places a kiss on Jared’s temple. He doesn’t add that his family now is Jared and that’s enough for him. But maybe his boyfriend is right, and it’s time to bond with his mother again. Maybe they can do it.
Rehabilitation is not easy for Jared. Now that he’s facing the aftermath of his kidnapping head on, and the damage it has done to his body, it’s really starting to affect him. He can’t move his legs, he can barely feel them, and it’s an awful feeling. The doctor had told him the prospects were good, that with physical therapy he could regain some mobility, but Jared is skeptical. He knows he’s only been working with the therapist for a little over a week, but nothing has changed and he feels helpless and afraid.
What if nothing changes? What if he can never walk again and has to spend his life in a wheelchair? What would become of his life then? And there’s Jensen… Jensen is so loving, caring and beautiful, he’s just starting to get his life back. He doesn’t deserve a broken boyfriend, who had to do those awful things and Jensen had to watch it, maybe he’s reminded of it everyday when he has to look at Jared. Maybe Jensen is too kind to dump Jared right now, because he’s still in the hospital.
And then there’s the whole no walking thing, Jared is going home soon in a wheelchair and he’ll be a burden to Jensen. He knows it. Jensen doesn’t deserve having to take care of his useless boyfriend just because he was stupid and weak enough to get kidnapped.
Jared had suggested to Jensen that he probably should go back to his parent’s house while he’s recovering, but Jensen blatantly refused, even surprising Jared a little, begging for Jared to come home with him.
“Please, Jay. Don’t leave me now, please. I could never be without you, we’ll get through this together, I promise! Just please stay with me.”
Jensen had sounded so broken and sincere, Jared couldn’t say no to that, even when his mother suggested Jared went to Austin, he told them no because he couldn’t do that to Jensen. But he knew, deep down, that his boyfriend would end up realizing what a burden he has become. He was still too overwhelmed with everything that had happened. Things would change with time.
Jared is released from the hospital two weeks later, to continue his program as an outpatient. He was able to regain a little bit of movement over the last couple of weeks, but as predicted, he’s leaving in a wheelchair. Jensen can see how that’s affecting his boyfriend, and Jensen hates knowing there’s nothing he can do.
Gerry has given Jared and Jensen the older of his two cars. He insisted, saying they were going to need it, so Jensen could drive Jared wherever he needed to go. Jensen had been working on getting a driver’s license again for the past weeks because he knew he was gonna have some driving duty. The doctor had suggested Jared should be admitted to a rehab facility for a few months, but he (and Jensen) had refused. Jared had said the last thing he wanted was to be stowed away at another hospital for months, away from everyone. So they decided he’d go to his therapy sessions 5 days a week, for the whole day. Jensen would drive him in the morning and go to work, picking up Jared in the afternoon.
It sounded like a great plan to Jensen, but Jared was still looking bummed with the prospect of going home, so Jensen decided to give his boyfriend some space. He was going through a lot at the moment.
Jensen drives Jared home himself, since he had refused to have it any other way. He had asked their friends to wait a few days before coming to visit Jared at home, so he could adapt to everything there first. Jared had been quiet as Jensen pushed the chair out of the hospital to the parking lot, and wouldn’t meet Jensen’s eyes when he helped Jared into the passenger seat.
Jared doesn’t say a word on the drive home, he just looks broodily out the window, and as the silence stretches Jensen grabs Jared’s hand and laces their fingers together. Jared’s hand doesn’t move at first, but as Jensen kisses his knuckles, Jared squeezes back, his eyes still on the road. Jensen can only hope things end up okay.
Sherri and Megan are both waiting as Jensen pushes Jared into their apartment. He couldn’t get out of that one. Both of them hug Jared, and he even smiles at them a little. They had cooked lunch for them, but Jared doesn’t finish his plate. Considering Jared’s usual appetite, Jensen is worried. But he decides to cut him some slack, hoping that it will improve soon.
Jensen manages to send Megan and Sherri away after a couple of hours, saying that Jared needs some rest, and his boyfriend sends him a grateful look. Then Jared spends the afternoon trying to learn how to get around the house and resting for most of the evening. Both of them watch old reruns on TV, sitting pressed together on the couch and it feels nice. After Jensen helps Jared take a shower, with the plastic chair he had placed there, he carefully carries Jared to the bed, under half hearted protests from his boyfriend that he can do it by himself, and they lie together facing each other. Jensen tears up when he takes a good look at Jared’s beautiful face so close to him, in their bed again.
“What are you crying for you doofus?” Jared asks with a small smile.
“I just can’t believe we’re here together again. I almost lost you, Jay.” Jensen answers, running a finger down Jared’s cheek.
Neither of them say anything else, they just stare deeply into each other’s eyes. It doesn’t matter what happens next, Jensen knows that as long as he has this, it’s gonna be alright.
A few days pass, and they fall into a routine of sorts. As they had discussed, Jensen leaves Jared at the center in the morning and goes to work, picking him back up when his shift is over. He had talked Jim into giving him longer shifts, he needs all the money he can get. He has gone back to do some gigs with the band, and Chad keeps Jared company while he’s gone during those nights. He wouldn’t mind bringing Jared along, but he has a feeling Jared wouldn’t be too thrilled, at least not yet.
Their friends have started visiting, trying to get Jared to cheer up, specially Chad with his endless babbling. Jared laughs and talks to them, but Jensen can see that underneath it, he’s not himself. In fact, as the days pass, Jared withdraws more and more into himself. He goes through his motions, does what he’s supposed to do, Jensen helps him when needed, but he can’t help but feeling that Jared is becoming more and more distant. And that scares the shit out of Jensen. He has tried to give Jared his space after all the shit he went through. Hell, he hasn’t even kissed Jared on the lips once since the kidnapping, and even though he aches to do it, to touch Jared like he wants to, he holds himself back, he needs to be the strong one here and give his boyfriend the time he needs to heal and do things at his own pace.
But even though Jared’s physical condition is improving very slowly - he’s regaining some more feeling and movements in his legs - his state of mind isn’t. It’s like Jared’s body is there but his mind is absent. He has been distancing himself from Jensen, very subtly, but it’s there. Jensen waits a few more days, maybe it’s something in his head, but it doesn’t get better, it gets worse.
Jared doesn’t talk to Jensen more than he has to, the rides to and from the center are dead silent, and it gets to the point where Jared doesn’t touch Jensen when they settle in their bed to sleep. Jensen can’t deal with this anymore, watching his beloved boyfriend slipping through his fingers. He’s not gonna sit by and let it happen.
Jensen waits until they are back home after a long day. He makes lasagna for dinner, Jared’s favorite, and it’s ready shortly after his boyfriend is out of the shower. They eat in a silence that is almost uncomfortable, and Jensen can’t take it anymore. It’s not supposed to be like this between them, they went through so much to be where they are now, and against all odds they are both still here. So no, this ends tonight, they have to talk.
As they finish the lasagna, Jensen takes the dirty plates to the kitchen. When he comes back, Jared is still at the table, looking a bit lost. Jensen takes a deep breath and lays a soft hand on Jared’s shoulder. He flinches, it’s almost imperceptible but it hurts Jensen nonetheless. He pretends not to notice though, and gives Jared’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“Hey Jay… I wanted to talk to you for a bit… what do you say we sit down on the couch so we’re more comfortable?”
Jared looks up and Jensen can see panic in his eyes. But it lasts for only a moment, as Jared nods and wheels himself towards the couch. He waits for Jensen to sit down and then transfers himself to the couch, leaving a gap between them. Jensen doesn’t think about it too much as he starts talking before he loses his nerve.
“Jay… I just want to know what’s happening with you.” He starts in a small voice.
Jared’s eyes go wide instantly, and he turns his head away, not meeting Jensen’s eyes. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about Jen, I… I’m just tired from all the rehab sessions, that’s all.”
Jensen reaches out and grabs Jared’s hand. It feels like Jared is going to pull his hand away, but apparently he changes his mind. He doesn’t move it, though.
“Jay… don’t pretend it’s nothing please. The way you’ve been acting lately…. I know you’ve been through a lot, still are, but I feel like you’re distancing yourself from me. It’s like you’re here but you’re not really. I see you everyday, but I still miss you. I want to give you space, but I wish you wouldn’t shut me out either.”
Jensen knows he sounds desperate but he doesn’t care one bit. He’s on the verge of tears but he manages to hold his own. Jared is quiet for a while, his head bowed. When he hears a faint sniff, he realizes Jared is crying, his eyes hidden behind his messy bangs. Jared reaches out and places a gentle hand on Jared’s chin, lifting his head. Jared’s eyes are red and he won’t meet Jensen’s gaze.
“Jay, talk to me please. Whatever it is, we can work it out together, I promise.”
When Jared finally looks at Jensen, his lips quiver and more tears fall down.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Jared’s voice is so low, Jensen is sure he has heard it wrong.
“What did you say, Jay?” He tries to sound as gentle as possible, even though he feels like he’s about to panic.
“I… I’m so scared, Jen. Not because of what happened, but because you don’t want me anymore.”
Jensen is so shocked when he hears those words, his hand falls from where it has been touching Jared’s face, and he stares at his boyfriend with his mouth agape.
“Jared… why in hell would you ever think I don’t want you?”
Jared averts his eyes again, wiping his face on his sleeve. When he speaks, his head is lowered again. “You haven’t touched me since I woke up in the hospital. You kiss my forehead, my temple, but never my mouth. You grab my hand but a good friend would do that. We haven’t been… intimate in a long time and I know it’s because of what I did. I understand you wouldn’t want to touch or kiss me after what I did with that woman… I know you said you liked that I was gonna be only yours and that changed... it just hurts so damn much, that’s all. But I get it, I do.”
Jensen can’t fight back his tears anymore. He never would have thought this is what was troubling his boyfriend, the feeling that he was unwanted. He thought Jared needed space and that backfired. So, he closes the gap between Jared and him, placing both hands on his face and making him look at him, again. Jensen dries the tears on his cheeks with his thumbs and Jared leans into his hand.
“Jay… how would you even think that I wouldn’t want you because of what happened to you?”
“I don’t know, I… I feel so dirty, it’s like I cheated on you, and you don’t deserve that, I…”
Jensen cuts Jared off, he can’t hear this anymore.
“Jay, please stop it. I’ve said this already, it wasn’t your fault. You were forced to do something you didn’t want to do, you had a gun pointed at your head, you never cheated on me. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine, I… Stephen is my cousin, Jay. The only reason he took you was to affect me. He made it pretty clear that he wanted to teach me a lesson, that you had taken me down the wrong path, that I had turned gay because of you. Everything that happened is because of me, Jay! If we hadn’t met, none of this would be happening, you would be safe and wouldn’t have to suffer through so much shit!”
Jared timidly takes Jensen’s hand that still rests on his face and holds it tight, lowering them both.
“Jen, listen to me. You didn’t kidnap me, you didn’t beat me up and make me do things I didn’t wanna do. So no, this isn’t your fault. Your cousin is crazy, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Yes, it was horrible and I still have nightmares, it hurts so much, but I would never blame you. In fact, if I was given the choice between finding you and go through all of this, or never seeing you again and therefore not facing this… there isn’t really an option here, Jen. If this is the price I have to pay for having you in my life again, I’ll gladly pay it.” Jared lets go of Jensen’s hand and looks away from him. “I just don’t see why you would want to be with me anymore Jensen, I… Look at me now, I’m a fucking burden.” Jared makes a motion to show his whole body. “I can’t walk right now and we don’t know if I’ll be able to do so again. I’m not as I used to be, I’m a mess and I’m broken, it isn’t fair that you have to be with someone like me, Jen, I understand, I just don’t know how I…”
This time Jensen cuts Jared off with a kiss. It’s a gentle kiss, just lips touching like the first kiss they shared, when they didn’t know their real identities, but it’s the best thing Jensen has ever tasted. He has missed Jared’s lips so much, they taste salty and like Jared, and god he doesn’t need anything else, ever. Jared melts into the kiss, his hands resting on Jensen’s hips and he lets out a heavy sigh. When they break apart Jensen smiles at Jared.
“Before I say anything, I have something to confess.” Jensen says, caressing Jared’s cheek. Jared frowns, and Jensen says he’ll be right back before running to their bedroom. Jensen opens Jared’s drawer and picks up his notebook. He knows this can go badly, Jared has every right to be all kinds of mad with him for invading his privacy like that, but Jared needs to know, he must understand and Jensen doesn’t want to hide this from his boyfriend.
Jensen slowly returns to the living room, taking his place beside Jared. When he sees what Jensen is holding, his expression turns shocked and he opens his mouth to speak, but before he has a chance to, Jensen interrupts him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Jay please, lemme explain first. When I’m done you can yell at me as much as you want. You know… that day, when I came home from work and you weren’t here, I knew something was wrong. The hours passed, and you didn’t arrive. My heart was aching, I knew deep down that you weren’t okay, I didn’t know where you were and it was unbearable. I waited all night long and you were still gone. Then Stephen called, making fun of the fact he had you and god, Jay… I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I went through the motions. If the guys hadn’t brought me food, I wouldn’t have eaten, I simply didn’t care. Nothing made sense anymore, not without you, specially knowing you were suffering.
“The day Stephen sent the video… watching what he made you do, seeing the gun pointed at your head and the pain written in your face… I lost it, Jay. I got truly and deeply desperate. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t hold it together anymore. I felt the need for the comfort of drugs, so strongly, I thought I was gonna die if I didn’t have my meth right away. I wasn’t myself, I was once again that lost dude living in the streets without any perspective. I started searching around the house, I don’t know what for exactly, but I was blind. And then, I went to our bedroom for the first time in days, I… I had to sleep in Chad’s old room because it was too much for me. Anyway, I opened your drawer and I saw this notebook. I knew it was wrong, it’s your private stuff, but Jay, I needed something, anything that got me closer to you. I opened it, and I saw your handwriting, a 11 year old’s handwriting saying he had met me at the camp, and then I broke down. I had to read everything, feel you close to me again, and every word I read was like a deep comfort, a way of knowing you were always with me. And somehow, that brought me back to reality, and I knew I had to be strong, I couldn’t give in, because of you. You saved me, you had faith in me and now you needed me, and I wanted to be strong for you. This notebook was my lifesaver, it was what kept me from going under. Even when you weren’t here, you saved me once again.
“You are the only thing that makes sense in my life Jay, I love you so much.” There are tears running freely down Jensen’s face and he doesn’t fight them. He smiles when he sees the look on Jared’s face, from shocked to emotional. He sets the notebook aside and grabs both his hands.
“Remember when I saw myself as only a homeless junkie, unworthy of your love? You made me see that you loved me for who I was, nevermind the state I was in, you wanted to be with me. In any shape, any form. Now I tell you the same thing, Jay. You are the only thing that matters to me, you’re the most important person in the whole world. Finding out you were J.T…. I had already fallen for you, and knowing you were him was the best thing that ever happened to me, I had missed you so much, I dreamed over and over about meeting you again. I’ll never, as long as I live, want anyone else. You mean everything to me, I'm with you, every step of the way and I'll never leave you. I don't care. I don’t care if you stay in this wheelchair forever, if you have to use crutches or even if you were stuck in a bed. I do not care Jared, you hear me? I love you, in any shape, any way. I want you to get better because of you, not me. I know you’re suffering, and I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat if I could.”
Jared scoffs through his tears. “I’d never let you do it.”
“I'd do it in your sleep then. Believe me Jay. I need you. You're it for me. Without you, I... Jay, I was there when your heart stopped beating, twice. You have no idea what that was like. When I thought I had lost you, I don’t know… All I know for sure is that I wouldn't be able to go on if you were gone.”
Jared looks at Jensen with haunted eyes and squeezes his hands. “Jen please don't say that.”
“No Jared, it's true. You know, being beaten up by my dad, getting kicked out, living on the streets, hitting rock bottom, seeing the worst of humanity, all of this... nothing even comes close to what I felt when I thought I had lost you. You saved me, in all the ways there is. If you had... died, I’d be right behind you. And I have never been more serious about anything in my life. I want you to understand once and for all that I love you more than anything, ever, and the only thing that would make me leave was if you kicked me out. And even then, I’d fight you hard.
“All I ask is for you to let me help you. Don’t shut me out anymore, please. Lemme take care of you for once, I want to do for you what you did for me. Gimme a chance to help you, my boy. You’re here but I miss you so much. Lemme be there for you, please.”
Jared doesn’t answer, he just studies Jensen for a moment before launching himself into his arms. Jensen grabs him and holds Jared tight, as close to his body as he can, as his boyfriend sobs into his arms. Jensen lets him, he rubs a soothing hand up and down his broad back as Jared gets Jensen’s shirt all wet, but he doesn’t care. Jensen sheds his own tears as he feels Jared’s warm body against his and he finally feels alive again, it’s like finally letting out a deep breath, after so fucking long.
When they finally pull away, a long time later, Jared’s face is blotchy and wet, and Jensen bets he looks the same, but he doesn’t care.
“Jen, I’m sorry for how I acted, it’s just that everything is so new and scary, and… I don’t know.”
Jensen presses their foreheads together. “You don’t have to apologize, never for this, love. Apparently we are both sorry for a lot of things, but I think now it’s time we leave it behind and begin again, and start to heal. The only important thing is that we stay together.”
Jared nods. “I only want you, always you. I don’t care about anything else, if you are here with me. You know… I don’t care if I can’t walk straight anymore. On those nights when I prayed for God to put you back in my life, I promised that if He did, I’d never ask for anything else, and I will hold on to that. I have you, and that’s the only thing that matters to me.” Jared closes his eyes for a long time. “God I’m so tired.”
Jensen doesn’t think twice as he places a hand on Jared’s back and another behind his knees, lifting him up.
“What you’re doing?” Jared tries to sound annoyed, but doesn’t succeed.
“Carrying my boyfriend to our bed, because I’m super strong and a gentleman.” Jensen replies, as he walks both of them to the bedroom. He gently places Jared on the bed and helps him out of his clothes, getting rid of his own as well, and lies down in bed next to Jared. He wraps an arm around Jared and smiles at him.
“This is much better.” Jensen says as he places a chaste kiss on Jared’s mouth.
“I missed you.” Jared responds, just inches from Jensen’s face. “I want to b-be with you, I just think I need a little more time.”
Jensen smiles and brings Jared closer. He rests his head on Jensen’s chest as they settle down for the night, and Jensen kisses the top of Jared’s head.
“It’s okay my boy. All we have is time.”
Chapter 21