So, in the course of my usual I'm-overwhelmed-so-let's-go-drown-in-fanfic coping mechanism, I finally reached the breaking point with several fanfic tropes. And of course must now expound upon them for a bit, just to check my Reality Meter with other normal (more or less) adults.
No. 1. What the H*** is up with the hair holding while vomiting????
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