The Rain - Chapter 14
Title: The Rain
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17 occasionally
Warnings: some violence and horror elements
Summary: AI8 tour. Adam is involved in a serious car accident that leaves him struggling to recover emotionally. Kris tries to help but is soon dealing with his own internal crisis.
Chapter 14
The floor was hard. It was uncomfortable as hell. And Adam slept like a rock. He woke to the sound of a door closing, followed by someone stepping on his hand.
“Mmph!” He jerked the hand away.
“Sorry--sorry!” It was Kris.
Adam’s arm was numb from being crushed against the unyielding hotel floor, and he really had to pee. He pushed to his feet and wavered to the bathroom while Kris set down trays on the little desk that the room offered.
When he came back out, Kris was smiling. “Good afternoon.”
“Wha-?”
“It’s 2:30. We’ve got to leave for the venue in half-an-hour. I was gonna have to wake you up.”
“So you stepped on me instead.”
“I’m sorry. The hallway’s not very wide.”
The smell of food was filling the room. Kris grinned at Adam staring at the
plates he’d set out. “You hungry?” he asked innocently.
* * *
While they sat on the bed and ate, Kris tried to study Adam without making it obvious.
“Go ahead and stare. It’d be less obnoxious than peeking at me sideways.”
“I’m sorry. I just want to know how you’re doing. How’re you doing?”
“Shitty. The floor was hard.”
“And whose fault is it you slept on the floor?”
“Yours.”
Kris laughed. “You got some sleep, didn’t you?”
“Best I’ve had in weeks.”
“So all you really needed was some good back support. As long as you sleep on, you know, a concrete slab, you’re fine.”
“Yeah, lack of back support. That’s my problem. There is no way on earth I’m gonna be ready to go in-how soon?”
“Twenty minutes.”
“You better be. Everybody’ll be on the buses, waiting.”
Adam chewed his food and regarded him with displeasure. “How did you sleep?”
“Ahhhh, it was nice. The beds in this hotel are really soft.”
Adam’s lids lowered and a smile of simmering hatred played around his mouth. “Bitch.”
Kris laughed again. Shoved the last of his sandwich in his mouth, slapped Adam on the shoulder and started to repack.
* * *
Since the sweatpants he slept in and his toiletries case had been all he took out of his luggage, Adam had the pleasure of actually leaving the room ahead of Kris. He stepped into the hall to find Allison, Danny and Michael gathered around a door on the other side of the hall. They looked warily at Adam, but beyond that all shared the same concerned expression.
“Hey, guys. What’s going on?”
Allison glanced at the others before answering. “We’re really worried about Kris. I came by to see him last night, and he wasn’t here. And we haven’t seen him all day.”
“And there’s no answer at his room,” Michael said.
“Nobody knows where he is,” said Danny.
“I’m gonna find Geoff and see if he-“ Michael broke off as Kris came out the door behind Adam.
“Oh, sorry - we slept in,” Adam said. “But he’s fine.” With that, he strode down the hall.
Allison had a little smile, and the faces of the other two had gone suddenly blank. Kris looked around at them. “What?”
* * *
The men’s bus had not been a jovial place since the car accident that had taken Carrie’s life and left Adam injured. But today there was a new quiet, as Michael and Danny stayed strangely silent. Kris didn’t think much of it until he went back to the kitchen area, and Danny appeared beside him.
“Hey, man.”
“How’s it going?” Kris asked.
“Good. Good. Look…do mind if I talk to you?”
Kris gave him a bemused smile. “No, that would be fine.”
“It’s really great, you know, the way you’ve been helping Adam out. That’s what it’s all about, helping each other, being there.”
Kris twisted off the lid to a bottle of juice. “I haven’t done much. But thanks.”
“But you know, when you-sometimes when you’re really focused, you know, on trying to help somebody, you forget what’s best for you. Sometimes maybe you even forget who you are because it becomes about that other person.”
Danny was being pretty round-about, but Kris was beginning to get an idea what was motivating this talk. He frowned thoughtfully.
“So you think I should just blow him?”
Danny’s eyes bolted right and left. A nervous staccato laugh erupted. “What?”
“You think I should just blow him off? You know, kind of let him deal with it on his own?”
“No, no. Of course not. We want to help him. We all want to help him.”
“Oh, well maybe we could take turns.” Kris drank juice and looked earnestly at Danny.
“Take turns doing what?”
“Sleeping with him. I think it helped last night. He seemed to sleep a lot better. It seemed to relieve a lot of anxiety.”
“Ummm. I’m not sure, uh, what you mean.”
“Really? I’m surprised. But Adam can show you. I’ll tell him that you want to sleep with him tonight.”
“No. No no no. That’s-you know what? Just-just forget it.” He smiled and backed away.
Kris lifted a shoulder. “Okay. If you change your mind…”
* * *
For Adam, it was like being able to breathe again after a long period of suffocation. While the sedative helped his sleep slightly, it was Kris’ presence that gave him peace. Why? Is it something about him? That kind, calm, strong way he has? Or is it me, and my fucking infatuation with him? Whatever it was, it worked, and he was able to achieve a kind of serenity.
He closed his mind to the memory of the pleading whisper and the cold fingers. Shut off the panic that started at the very thought. Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive.
Maybe if I can just string enough good days together, I might start to get back to who I was. I’ve got to get back. I’ve got to start recording again. I’ve got to keep the momentum.
He lay on a couch backstage, alternately reading and watching Kris in the reflection off a Plexiglas panel on the wall. Kris was staring oh-so-seriously at his laptop. He was so cute that for the first time in weeks Adam felt a kind of amusement.
* * *
At his laptop, Kris found his gaze drawn again and again to Adam, stretched out on a couch, reading. Kris’ insubordinate eyes sifted through the thick black hair, trailed down the pale arms, lightly caressed the gleaming nails. He admired Adam’s long fingers, and his unconsciously graceful hand motions as he turned the pages. Kris remembered in his dream how those black-tipped fingers…
Just stop it! Finish the damn email. He sent his eyes back to the screen. But his mind stayed back on what he was no longer looking at. This hopeless. I’m obsessed. His lack of control over his own thoughts was infuriating. He snapped the laptop closed angrily.
”I’m gonna take a walk.”
Adam nodded. As Kris strode off, he didn’t notice Adam’s eyes following him.
* * *
This time when Adam glanced at the Plexiglas panel, he realized Kris was looking at him, staring down at the back of his head. Oh god, what’s he’s thinking? How crazy I am? Does he think I’m pathetic? What’s my hair doing? Do I look okay? Adam turned a page to keep up the appearance of reading, and in the reflection he saw Kris’ head shift slightly, toward his hands. I wonder if he likes black, or if blue would be better. What’s he looking at?
Abruptly, Kris turned back to his laptop. There was an angry tension in his movements. What? What’s that about? Is he mad? I think he is. Why? He was fine a minute ago. It must have been something he thought. Something he thought when he was looking at me. Pain began to form like a cold, solid thing in his chest.
So nothing’s changed. He’s just being nice cause I’m so fucked up, and he would never walk away from somebody in need. He doesn’t even want to be near me, and now he’s stuck with this babysitting gig. And it sucks, and he’s sick of it.
Kris’ irritation was obvious and undeniable as he snapped the laptop closed and stood up. Adam pressed his lips together to keep his feelings from showing on his face.
”I’m gonna take a walk,” Kris said in a low voice.
He strode off.
Adam lay there, seeing nothing.
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: NC-17 occasionally
Warnings: some violence and horror elements
Summary: AI8 tour. Adam is involved in a serious car accident that leaves him struggling to recover emotionally. Kris tries to help but is soon dealing with his own internal crisis.
Chapter 14
The floor was hard. It was uncomfortable as hell. And Adam slept like a rock. He woke to the sound of a door closing, followed by someone stepping on his hand.
“Mmph!” He jerked the hand away.
“Sorry--sorry!” It was Kris.
Adam’s arm was numb from being crushed against the unyielding hotel floor, and he really had to pee. He pushed to his feet and wavered to the bathroom while Kris set down trays on the little desk that the room offered.
When he came back out, Kris was smiling. “Good afternoon.”
“Wha-?”
“It’s 2:30. We’ve got to leave for the venue in half-an-hour. I was gonna have to wake you up.”
“So you stepped on me instead.”
“I’m sorry. The hallway’s not very wide.”
The smell of food was filling the room. Kris grinned at Adam staring at the
plates he’d set out. “You hungry?” he asked innocently.
* * *
While they sat on the bed and ate, Kris tried to study Adam without making it obvious.
“Go ahead and stare. It’d be less obnoxious than peeking at me sideways.”
“I’m sorry. I just want to know how you’re doing. How’re you doing?”
“Shitty. The floor was hard.”
“And whose fault is it you slept on the floor?”
“Yours.”
Kris laughed. “You got some sleep, didn’t you?”
“Best I’ve had in weeks.”
“So all you really needed was some good back support. As long as you sleep on, you know, a concrete slab, you’re fine.”
“Yeah, lack of back support. That’s my problem. There is no way on earth I’m gonna be ready to go in-how soon?”
“Twenty minutes.”
“You better be. Everybody’ll be on the buses, waiting.”
Adam chewed his food and regarded him with displeasure. “How did you sleep?”
“Ahhhh, it was nice. The beds in this hotel are really soft.”
Adam’s lids lowered and a smile of simmering hatred played around his mouth. “Bitch.”
Kris laughed again. Shoved the last of his sandwich in his mouth, slapped Adam on the shoulder and started to repack.
* * *
Since the sweatpants he slept in and his toiletries case had been all he took out of his luggage, Adam had the pleasure of actually leaving the room ahead of Kris. He stepped into the hall to find Allison, Danny and Michael gathered around a door on the other side of the hall. They looked warily at Adam, but beyond that all shared the same concerned expression.
“Hey, guys. What’s going on?”
Allison glanced at the others before answering. “We’re really worried about Kris. I came by to see him last night, and he wasn’t here. And we haven’t seen him all day.”
“And there’s no answer at his room,” Michael said.
“Nobody knows where he is,” said Danny.
“I’m gonna find Geoff and see if he-“ Michael broke off as Kris came out the door behind Adam.
“Oh, sorry - we slept in,” Adam said. “But he’s fine.” With that, he strode down the hall.
Allison had a little smile, and the faces of the other two had gone suddenly blank. Kris looked around at them. “What?”
* * *
The men’s bus had not been a jovial place since the car accident that had taken Carrie’s life and left Adam injured. But today there was a new quiet, as Michael and Danny stayed strangely silent. Kris didn’t think much of it until he went back to the kitchen area, and Danny appeared beside him.
“Hey, man.”
“How’s it going?” Kris asked.
“Good. Good. Look…do mind if I talk to you?”
Kris gave him a bemused smile. “No, that would be fine.”
“It’s really great, you know, the way you’ve been helping Adam out. That’s what it’s all about, helping each other, being there.”
Kris twisted off the lid to a bottle of juice. “I haven’t done much. But thanks.”
“But you know, when you-sometimes when you’re really focused, you know, on trying to help somebody, you forget what’s best for you. Sometimes maybe you even forget who you are because it becomes about that other person.”
Danny was being pretty round-about, but Kris was beginning to get an idea what was motivating this talk. He frowned thoughtfully.
“So you think I should just blow him?”
Danny’s eyes bolted right and left. A nervous staccato laugh erupted. “What?”
“You think I should just blow him off? You know, kind of let him deal with it on his own?”
“No, no. Of course not. We want to help him. We all want to help him.”
“Oh, well maybe we could take turns.” Kris drank juice and looked earnestly at Danny.
“Take turns doing what?”
“Sleeping with him. I think it helped last night. He seemed to sleep a lot better. It seemed to relieve a lot of anxiety.”
“Ummm. I’m not sure, uh, what you mean.”
“Really? I’m surprised. But Adam can show you. I’ll tell him that you want to sleep with him tonight.”
“No. No no no. That’s-you know what? Just-just forget it.” He smiled and backed away.
Kris lifted a shoulder. “Okay. If you change your mind…”
* * *
For Adam, it was like being able to breathe again after a long period of suffocation. While the sedative helped his sleep slightly, it was Kris’ presence that gave him peace. Why? Is it something about him? That kind, calm, strong way he has? Or is it me, and my fucking infatuation with him? Whatever it was, it worked, and he was able to achieve a kind of serenity.
He closed his mind to the memory of the pleading whisper and the cold fingers. Shut off the panic that started at the very thought. Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive.
Maybe if I can just string enough good days together, I might start to get back to who I was. I’ve got to get back. I’ve got to start recording again. I’ve got to keep the momentum.
He lay on a couch backstage, alternately reading and watching Kris in the reflection off a Plexiglas panel on the wall. Kris was staring oh-so-seriously at his laptop. He was so cute that for the first time in weeks Adam felt a kind of amusement.
* * *
At his laptop, Kris found his gaze drawn again and again to Adam, stretched out on a couch, reading. Kris’ insubordinate eyes sifted through the thick black hair, trailed down the pale arms, lightly caressed the gleaming nails. He admired Adam’s long fingers, and his unconsciously graceful hand motions as he turned the pages. Kris remembered in his dream how those black-tipped fingers…
Just stop it! Finish the damn email. He sent his eyes back to the screen. But his mind stayed back on what he was no longer looking at. This hopeless. I’m obsessed. His lack of control over his own thoughts was infuriating. He snapped the laptop closed angrily.
”I’m gonna take a walk.”
Adam nodded. As Kris strode off, he didn’t notice Adam’s eyes following him.
* * *
This time when Adam glanced at the Plexiglas panel, he realized Kris was looking at him, staring down at the back of his head. Oh god, what’s he’s thinking? How crazy I am? Does he think I’m pathetic? What’s my hair doing? Do I look okay? Adam turned a page to keep up the appearance of reading, and in the reflection he saw Kris’ head shift slightly, toward his hands. I wonder if he likes black, or if blue would be better. What’s he looking at?
Abruptly, Kris turned back to his laptop. There was an angry tension in his movements. What? What’s that about? Is he mad? I think he is. Why? He was fine a minute ago. It must have been something he thought. Something he thought when he was looking at me. Pain began to form like a cold, solid thing in his chest.
So nothing’s changed. He’s just being nice cause I’m so fucked up, and he would never walk away from somebody in need. He doesn’t even want to be near me, and now he’s stuck with this babysitting gig. And it sucks, and he’s sick of it.
Kris’ irritation was obvious and undeniable as he snapped the laptop closed and stood up. Adam pressed his lips together to keep his feelings from showing on his face.
”I’m gonna take a walk,” Kris said in a low voice.
He strode off.
Adam lay there, seeing nothing.