Actually, no it didn't. See your fellow author's comments below.
Just a word of caution; if you're big enough to bring it to the internet, you'd better be big enough to carry the shit back. Being sick is not really an excuse. I know, I know, it's forgivable, but still.
I was trying to find your e mail address to reply better, but couldn't find it. Yes, yes, there is good reason not to hand it out to everyone. But I would really like to reply a good post separate to whatever wsprite (for when she comes online, or if she ever replies herself for that matter) may say.
If you don't want me to have it, fine. Just reply that here.
I was being sarcastic. To be frank, I find it difficult to take people serious who cannot do anything but give negative critique about something, and even pointing out that they only wish to write "biting commentary" as you put it, but "won't. For the egos of all involved
( ... )
*blinks and goes to look at mangy_mongrel's lj again* Wow, I didn't notice that, I just went to your info page.
Hmmm, well, I must say that any slaughtering of the English language is my fault as wsprite above me stated, she doesn't speak or write English natively. I do.
I wanted to know if you thought all of it (both chapters so far) or just this one was bad? And I would also like to know what is wrong with it in a constructive way please. Don't flame us to death.
I know. I dislike giving flames, which was why I didn't write the scathing commentary in the first place. And I always start out doing things in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later. You could almost say that I've never heard of the phrase "Look before you leap." I'll post a more thorough... thing when I'm more awake.
I cannot replicate how I felt that day; all I remember is that I fel that the entire tone was in the wrong category of fantasy... more like Star Trek, and things like that - almost Mary-Suish.
First off, I was peeved to find that this was practically unbetaed. Or if you had a beta, well, s/he was doing a damnable job. It's just all those little mistakes that nibble on the edge of your story, especially when the story is just average to start with.
Following is (mostly) a list of spelling/grammatical errors.
anythign other than normal people self-explanatory
good lay down good lie down
prophesy prophecy: a matter of noun vs. verb
agry hissing of words self-explanatory
by some sheer luck by sheer luck would have been just fine
the world had faced its end the world would have had faced its end
strenght needed self-explanatory
Why would the lighter being made of steel intrest Crowley?
And when you say It usually had that effect are you referring to Newt? Or some other thing? Anathema's smile, perhaps
( ... )
It would have been far easier if you had just pointed out that we had some spelling errors and confusion of verbs and nouns, rather than start yelling that we've mutilated the English language and written the worst piece of crap ever found on the internet
( ... )
strenght needed spelling error. Should be "strength". I should know, I have the same mistake practically all the time.
Power, with a capital P it just came across as cheap. I'm sorry.
Where I come from steel-lighters are... well, I wouldn't say common, but they're popping up. And this is from someone who doesn't actively go out and ask people "what kind of lighters do you have?"
first gear That would be the first chapter. Your partner did ask me about the first chapter as well, did she not?
As I said, the overall feel is difficult to put in words, mainly because I've never been much of a methodical person. If I feel something is right, then it just *is*. That is my value system.
A Mary-Sue is not necessarily a girl, or even a guy. In this case, I suppose the Mary-Sue to me would be the Book. It was indeed almost spelt out that the second Book was burned if you'd care to read the bit where Adam saw Agnes' face in the smoke from Jasmine Cottage, so in bringing back the new Book, you'd be creating a Mary-Sue.
I was being sarcastic. See, there's this thing called 'faceless communication' and this thing called 'first impressions as given by the story' and this thing wholly unconnected with you called 'being bombarded by lots of shitty stories to not give a damn anymore' and this thing called 'expecting the GO fandom to have the best stories (seeing as how I pimped it out so much) and being disappointed', and what was I going to say again? Oh yes, it didn't so much as occur to me to think that you might be sarcastic.
As I said, I dislike giving flames, and I was on the verge of walking away, but I gave in to temptation. So bite me.
I don't expect every story posted in this fandom to have the same tone as Pratchett and Gaiman. Heck, I don't even expect any story to. I know I can find much worse examples, but given that this was posted to lower_tadfield and not the pit of voles, I expected better. For the rest of the scathing review (which might not be scathing anymore, merely warm) see my reply to malicehaughton.
And where is it stated that it is only the top notch of ultimate literary works that is allowed to be posted here? Some things are good, some things are not-so-good.
And if you do dislike to give out flames, then, excuse my language, keep your big mouth shut instead when you can't properly express yourself. And you still haven't told us why this story is so bad that you have to whine about it over several posts and in your own livejournal.
There is a tradition, if you haven't noticed, of works here being better than those posted on fanfiction.net/the pit of voles, probably because it is less likely to be accessed by people.
And I was typing out the goddamned review while you were throwing your temper tantrum over here. Go read it if you so feel inclined to.
Just keep in mind that we wrote this when I was sick and i n2 hours that we found ourselves on for at the same time, which is a lot of time, since I am the one that was writing in the early hours of the morning.
But hey, thanks for keeping in tact our egos, lol.
And also thanks for the mistake *goes and changes it when she finds the time*
There is more biting commentary I could write on this, but I won't. For the egos of all involved.
Reply
Reply
Actually, no it didn't. See your fellow author's comments below.
Just a word of caution; if you're big enough to bring it to the internet, you'd better be big enough to carry the shit back. Being sick is not really an excuse. I know, I know, it's forgivable, but still.
Reply
If you don't want me to have it, fine. Just reply that here.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Hmmm, well, I must say that any slaughtering of the English language is my fault as wsprite above me stated, she doesn't speak or write English natively. I do.
I wanted to know if you thought all of it (both chapters so far) or just this one was bad? And I would also like to know what is wrong with it in a constructive way please. Don't flame us to death.
Reply
Reply
First off, I was peeved to find that this was practically unbetaed. Or if you had a beta, well, s/he was doing a damnable job. It's just all those little mistakes that nibble on the edge of your story, especially when the story is just average to start with.
Following is (mostly) a list of spelling/grammatical errors.
anythign other than normal people self-explanatory
good lay down good lie down
prophesy prophecy: a matter of noun vs. verb
agry hissing of words self-explanatory
by some sheer luck by sheer luck would have been just fine
the world had faced its end the world would have had faced its end
strenght needed self-explanatory
Why would the lighter being made of steel intrest Crowley?
And when you say It usually had that effect are you referring to Newt? Or some other thing? Anathema's smile, perhaps ( ... )
Reply
I meant to say that Why would the lighter being made of steel interest Crowley?
Also, I seem to have forgotten to close a tag.
Reply
Reply
Power, with a capital P it just came across as cheap. I'm sorry.
Where I come from steel-lighters are... well, I wouldn't say common, but they're popping up. And this is from someone who doesn't actively go out and ask people "what kind of lighters do you have?"
first gear That would be the first chapter. Your partner did ask me about the first chapter as well, did she not?
As I said, the overall feel is difficult to put in words, mainly because I've never been much of a methodical person. If I feel something is right, then it just *is*. That is my value system.
A Mary-Sue is not necessarily a girl, or even a guy. In this case, I suppose the Mary-Sue to me would be the Book. It was indeed almost spelt out that the second Book was burned if you'd care to read the bit where Adam saw Agnes' face in the smoke from Jasmine Cottage, so in bringing back the new Book, you'd be creating a Mary-Sue.
Reply
As I said, I dislike giving flames, and I was on the verge of walking away, but I gave in to temptation. So bite me.
I don't expect every story posted in this fandom to have the same tone as Pratchett and Gaiman. Heck, I don't even expect any story to. I know I can find much worse examples, but given that this was posted to lower_tadfield and not the pit of voles, I expected better. For the rest of the scathing review (which might not be scathing anymore, merely warm) see my reply to malicehaughton.
Reply
And if you do dislike to give out flames, then, excuse my language, keep your big mouth shut instead when you can't properly express yourself. And you still haven't told us why this story is so bad that you have to whine about it over several posts and in your own livejournal.
Reply
And I was typing out the goddamned review while you were throwing your temper tantrum over here. Go read it if you so feel inclined to.
Reply
But hey, thanks for keeping in tact our egos, lol.
And also thanks for the mistake *goes and changes it when she finds the time*
Reply
Leave a comment