Really Super Dooper Long Author's Notes - Lay Me Down So
These are my really super dooper long author's notes. For me, they're like a point of record, to talk about what happened or what I thought about while writing this story.
Why, Why, Why
This story came about because my dear friend
amalthia wanted a) for me to be in the SGA fandom and b) for me to write her an non-con story. Since I adore her more than life, I came up with a plot that involved John and Rodney and non-con and a whole lot of h/c rolling around.
I made outlines (many, many outlines) and used three by five index cards to separate Rodney’s POV from John’s; John had green cards and Rodney’s were blue. I plastered them on my writing wall, but, sadly never got to use them.
The plot, which is basically that Rodney had been kidnapped and had to resort to trading sexual services for his own survival, seemed like a pretty good idea at the time when I started working on the outline when I signed up in March. One early version had John tracking Rodney down and rescuing him, but if I did that, then that meant that I’d not be able to have them both suffering together on Skandar, so that quickly went out the window. The story turned into both of them getting captured, with Rodney still trading sexual services to save both of them, except John doesn't know.
Point of View (POV)
I wanted to do the story from two points of view (POV), in this case, John and Rodney. I like doing it that way to get the two perspectives of the characters involved, so that John can moon over Rodney and Rodney can moon over John. Except that RL stuff raised its ugly head, and everything that I had planned changed all around till the final product is somewhat different than I had anticipated.
I ended up writing out six different drafts of the plot, which if you studied them, would demonstrate all the struggles I had with this story. But believe me, you don't want to study them. I know I don't, because they're just a record of my ongoing frustration with this story.
I had started writing from John’s POV and then I switched to Rodney’s, because of the fact that the plot points on the blue cards (Rodney’s POV) started happening right away. I resolved to write from Rodney’s and then go back and write John’s story, to fill in all those blanks. Except with RL stuff, I soon realized that I’d run out of time and either I’d end up with a very long two-person POV story without much depth, or I had to pick a single POV and develop the heck out of it.
When I really started writing (and running out of time), since I had more Rodney, at that time, I went with Rodney.
The first scene in the story, where they’re in the cart going uphill in the rain had originally been written from John’s POV; if you re-read it and squint and replace the inner monologue to be John’s, you can kind of see how John would be thinking to himself that he needs to keep Rodney’s spirits up by distracting him by using the wrong terminology. After I changed the scene to be Rodney’s POV, it’s him figuring out that John should be saying things to distract him but mostly isn’t, and this Rodney puts down to how cold it is and how thin John is. This turned out to be a theme that ran throughout the story - as Rodney quickly becomes alerted to the fact that John is not going to be able to do his usual Hero stuff, and Rodney’s got to step up. Which he does, god bless him.
I want to say that I wish with all my heart that I could have written John’s POV too, because it would have been so cool to see from behind those eyes of his and have him watch Rodney being so brave, and have him struggle (and fail) against being sick, and have him looking to Rodney for warmth (Rodney is like an oven), and to be chiding himself for what he considers his personal weakness. I think I made up for it in the end, because John is full of nothing but praise for how stalwart Rodney was throughout the whole ordeal..
And ordeal it was, as you know, if you’ve read the story.
Rodney McKay- The Most Troublesome Character Ever
The other problem (other than the POV issue) I had was Rodney himself. I had an online chat with another SGA fan (whose name I wish I could remember because it was a really good chat!) and she had stated that she’d be nervous about writing from Rodney’s POV on account of how smart the man is; it would be hard to know what goes on in his mind, because, if you’re that smart, are you even on the same planet as the rest of us? I agreed with her totally, glad to find out I wasn’t alone in this.
But as you can see, time and space forced me into doing just that and write only Rodney’s POV, the one thing I didn't want to do. Except it turned out to be fun to write Rodney, and this is why:
First, Rodney might be smart about computers and technology but he’s crap at the basics, so it was fun putting him through things that wouldn't worry someone else, but drive Rodney crazy, such as backwash, no soap or hot water, no toilet paper, and alien spit and semen. He just comes apart at the seams with stuff like that. (Of course, these things would also bother someone else - me - but to anyone else but Rodney, the idea of survival would overwhelm any other thought.)
Second, Rodney's funny. I didn’t know how much till I went back and read some of the stuff he says to John; I can see why John laughs so much when Rodney’s around. I don’t mean to pat myself on the back for writing Rodney’s funny lines, because, as any writer could tell you, sometimes you write something good and don’t remember writing it.
Third, Rodney's bossy. He is the bossiest character I've ever written about. Rodney took over the story, but I don’t mean in the normal way that a writer might say, “Oh those characters are So bossy! They just took over.” Because I’ve had that happen before this, when characters seem to go their own way and do stuff you didn’t expect. That’s pretty normal.
But in this story, I’d be typing along, and Rodney would be thinking about something he and John had done or shared, or he’d be talking to Beckett about stuff that hadn’t actually happened and that I hadn’t written and I’d have to do a double take and ask myself, where the heck did that come from?
Like, with the fracas in the mess hall. The next day, Rodney says to Beckett, “He almost decked that marine yesterday.” Except with the scene the way I’d written it, John exchanges words with the marine and goes off leaving his tray and that’s that, nobody decks nobody. So I told Rodney, "He never decked that marine!" And Rodney goes, clear as a bell, “Oh yes he did, you just weren’t paying attention!”
Then I thought about it, and if John decked the marine, that marine might be called upon to press charges against his superior officer, and that would take the focus of the story in a new direction. I convinced Rodney that John wouldn’t punch a marine, but he might punch Rodney for trying to interfere, and then, Rodney could stand his ground and NOT press charges, which would be much better for John, because Rodney would be alerted to how John’s not dealing with everything. At which point Rodney agreed, but THEN I had to go back and rewrite the entire scene anyway. He’s so bossy, is Rodney.
At least the punch in the mess hall solved one problem that I encountered, mid way the lack of tension between Rodney and John. Oh sure, I’d determined that they’d have REAL problems, not just imaginary ones, and by that I mean, it wasn’t going to be a story where a “misunderstanding” stands in the way of two lovers getting together, you know, like seeing someone with someone else, and thinking oh, no, they don’t love me.
No, I determined that John would be pissed at Rodney for doing what he did on Skandar to save them (which he feels guilty about, and his anger is directed at himself, but it expresses itself in rage), and Rodney is pissed at John for telling Beckett, when he promised he wouldn’t. Those seemed like real problems to me, but the punch in the mess hall brought everything to a head, very satisfactorily, so thanks to Rodney for that.
The other thing Rodney kept referring to was all the skin on skin action he and John shared in the Third and Second Camps, and at that point, while I was writing Part III, I hadn’t written all that much about skin on skin on Skandar.Rodney was like “Well, maybe it was dark, but if you’d been paying at ALL any attention, you would know what John would insist on to prevent hypothermia and you’d figure out where it led, so don’t be lazy, go back and put it in there!” And all the while he’s pointing and waving, and my deadlines looming, and STILL I went back and put in more skin on skin action because Rodney insisted I do it. Drat that Rodney!
I’ve never had that happen before - or maybe THIS is what writers mean when they say characters take over?
Ghent
I spent a lot of time on the scenes with Ghent; I hope I got it right and made Rodney’s growing freakout clear, except that he doesn’t freak out as much as he has a meltdown. Those scenes got written almost first, all in one weekend, so that I’d have a premise around which to build what came after. I had them in a different order (non-con sex, blow job, frottage, rape), but then I realized that Ghent’s actions would need to build in their ferocity to give them any meaning, so I switched them around and they worked well enough (blow job, frottage, non-con sex, rape) and the danger from Ghent grew.
I thought I made Ghent's name up, but a few weeks back, I was on my way to work, and I was behind a truck that said Ghent's Shipping. Oh well. I must have seen it before a time or two.
Who Can Handle It
Oddly, when they get back to Atlantis, it’s not Rodney who can’t manage, but John - John, who feels guilty about not noticing or being able to stop what was happening to Rodney. I was going to go on in a whole bit about Rodney thinking that John thought he was a bit of a whore for doing what he did, but that didn’t seem true to John’s character, so I left it out.
In the end, it’s John’s guilt that’s getting to him, he’s the team leader, and it’s his job to make sure the team gets back safe and sound. Maybe there’s not so much of that as there should be, but in the end, I tried to make it really clear that they BOTH worked on their part to get them out of there. If Rodney had not gotten them to the Second Camp, then there wouldn’t have been the opportunity for John to figure that they could just walk on out of there.
The Red Tunic
Speaking of just walking out of there, how ‘bout that red tunic? Well, in the beginning, I was going to have all the kehks wear toques to mark their status, only it seemed a bit excessive, what with the noise they’d make and the need for keys. I also spent a lot of time figuring out the layers of the society they were in, and that seemed excessive too, because the only thing the reader would need to know was that John and Rodney and all the other kehks were at the bottom of the totem pole. Except for the kehks who slept under the rain flap, they’re the ones really at the bottom.
So anyway, no toques, and at the last minute, I had to have something that would let kehks go in and out of the gate, so I gave them scarves. The red tunic came in about halfway through my writing as a reason for Ghent to go all out on Rodney at the last interaction, he gives it to Rodney and Rodney gives it to John and…(these little Eureka moments always happened in the middle of the night, so my writing tablet and pen on my nightstand got a workout.) I thought about taking the red tunic back to Atlantis, but then it seemed like it was bought with blood money, so…I had John use it to a) kill Ghent and b) to get them out of there, as scarves, which seemed much better. Because who on earth would want a reminder like that around?
Slash and Sex Scenes
Then there was the slash, which I anticipated would develop throughout the story. Only it didn’t work like that because it occurred to me that in the Third Camp, where survival is the name of the day, plus John’s getting sick and Rodney’s worrying about pathogens, any slash would be the LAST thing on their mind, so it couldn’t happen then.
And it couldn’t happen in the Second Camp, because Rodney’s getting raped every single day, so he’s not likely to be UP for anything, if you know what I mean. So all the slash, the real slash, happens in Atlantis, which only makes sense.
But, I tried to build intimacy on Skandar with the h/c that I laced throughout, all that skin on skin that Rodney insisted on, and basically the moments where Rodney and John share a laugh or a joke or a private moment - which then becomes the basis for this private obsession that Rodney develops for John. Rodney can’t stop thinking about John, he worries about the kehks and he’s pretty proud of himself for drinking backwash water out of a dipper. But mostly he thinks about John and reaches for him in the night….and wants John in his life.
My Favorite Scenes
In fact, my favorite scene (ask me in a year and it might be different) is what I call the pastry scene, which I wrote because I needed something to connect Rodney and John back up together after Skandar. Well, as you know, Rodney and John are connected, but in this story, John is keeping his distance, except he approaches Rodney to yell at him or to punch him, and then ends up on Rodney’s floor, because he, too, is probably reaching for Rodney in the night.
So the pastry scene (and who doesn’t love iced brownies) was my way of having Rodney blather on (as he does) and just lay it all out there. John, as you can see, is taken with Rodney for many reasons, one of which is his honesty, and his bravery, and also his protectiveness of John, which I discovered, nobody really does for John, not the way Rodney does it. That was fun to write, to have John go, nobody loves me like you do, in his way, and he says yes to Rodney and while neither Rodney nor John says I love you, they demonstrate it in their actions.
Yeah, it started getting gushy towards the end, but out of the darkness comes light, and I like happy endings anyhow. I hope you do too.
One thing I liked about this story (that surprised me when I realized it was there) was the reaction of people in Atlantis to John.
Towards the end, I started developing very soft and tender feelings for the scene about the night before Rodney's SURE that John's going to die, and he kisses John and John says, "Are you crying over me, Rodney? Nobody ever does that," and "Here's me, kissing you goodbye." Yeah. I think I was on a roll then.
Theme
I like to think that my stories have a theme, though I mostly don’t know what that is until I’m done writing, and even then, if I come up with what I think is the theme, I’ll get readers who found something in there that I didn’t realize I was putting in.
Anyway, in the case of this story, I wanted to include something about the mission report that team members write after doing a mission. When Rodney and John get captured, Rodney thinks about what his mission report will say, and later, he thinks about mission reports that John has written, where John distills all the misery he goes through to a few abbreviations, which Rodney then discovers hide a whole lot behind them. Later in the story, John reads Rodney’s mission report out loud to him, and figures out what really went on, and in the very end, Rodney reads about himself in John’s mission report. Which, as you know, if you’ve read the story, is full of praise, heaps and heaps of praise. And there’s nothing more flattering than reading nice stuff about yourself, especially if you’ve got an ego like Rodney’s.
At the end of all this, I looked back and realized that what once was merely something to add texture to the story turned out to be part of the theme, and that is, how what we both say and don’t say turns out to communicate a whole lot that we didn’t intend. Or about how what we don’t say is louder than words. I think there might be more, but that’s pretty much it.
Another theme that I tried to put in the story (the failure or success of which will depend on reader’s reactions) is that of giving care, the “c” part of the classic “h/c” equation. The title was part of that, Lay Me Down So, as if to imply the word “carefully” at the end of it.
Research
This was an invaluable link about bronchitis.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/bronchitis-symptoms-in-adults.html
Here's some links about gulags:
These are all pretty graphic, as sadly gulags are still around.
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/17168
http://weburbanist.com/2008/01/27/7-abandoned-wonders-of-the-former-soviet-union
http://gulaghistory.org/nps/onlineexhibit/stalin/living.php
http://www.microkhan.com/2009/07/29/daily-bread/
http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/consecration_russia.php
Here's the link I used about hypothermia, to get the speed at which skin warms up or looses heat.
"The thermal conductivity of water is 240 times greater than still air. Wet clothing can extract body heat at a rate of 240 times greater than dry clothing."
Here's the link about artificial satellites, which is what I used for McKay yelling at Foster about her sloppy notation:
http://www.codeproject.com/KB/cs/UniversalEnggFrmwork6.aspx
And a picture of the bit I used:
And the bread came from this link:
http://gulaghistory.org/nps/onlineexhibit/stalin/living.php
This entry was originally posted at http://lovesrain44.dreamwidth.org/49508.html.
Why, Why, Why
This story came about because my dear friend
amalthia wanted a) for me to be in the SGA fandom and b) for me to write her an non-con story. Since I adore her more than life, I came up with a plot that involved John and Rodney and non-con and a whole lot of h/c rolling around.
I made outlines (many, many outlines) and used three by five index cards to separate Rodney’s POV from John’s; John had green cards and Rodney’s were blue. I plastered them on my writing wall, but, sadly never got to use them.
The plot, which is basically that Rodney had been kidnapped and had to resort to trading sexual services for his own survival, seemed like a pretty good idea at the time when I started working on the outline when I signed up in March. One early version had John tracking Rodney down and rescuing him, but if I did that, then that meant that I’d not be able to have them both suffering together on Skandar, so that quickly went out the window. The story turned into both of them getting captured, with Rodney still trading sexual services to save both of them, except John doesn't know.
Point of View (POV)
I wanted to do the story from two points of view (POV), in this case, John and Rodney. I like doing it that way to get the two perspectives of the characters involved, so that John can moon over Rodney and Rodney can moon over John. Except that RL stuff raised its ugly head, and everything that I had planned changed all around till the final product is somewhat different than I had anticipated.
I ended up writing out six different drafts of the plot, which if you studied them, would demonstrate all the struggles I had with this story. But believe me, you don't want to study them. I know I don't, because they're just a record of my ongoing frustration with this story.
I had started writing from John’s POV and then I switched to Rodney’s, because of the fact that the plot points on the blue cards (Rodney’s POV) started happening right away. I resolved to write from Rodney’s and then go back and write John’s story, to fill in all those blanks. Except with RL stuff, I soon realized that I’d run out of time and either I’d end up with a very long two-person POV story without much depth, or I had to pick a single POV and develop the heck out of it.
When I really started writing (and running out of time), since I had more Rodney, at that time, I went with Rodney.
The first scene in the story, where they’re in the cart going uphill in the rain had originally been written from John’s POV; if you re-read it and squint and replace the inner monologue to be John’s, you can kind of see how John would be thinking to himself that he needs to keep Rodney’s spirits up by distracting him by using the wrong terminology. After I changed the scene to be Rodney’s POV, it’s him figuring out that John should be saying things to distract him but mostly isn’t, and this Rodney puts down to how cold it is and how thin John is. This turned out to be a theme that ran throughout the story - as Rodney quickly becomes alerted to the fact that John is not going to be able to do his usual Hero stuff, and Rodney’s got to step up. Which he does, god bless him.
I want to say that I wish with all my heart that I could have written John’s POV too, because it would have been so cool to see from behind those eyes of his and have him watch Rodney being so brave, and have him struggle (and fail) against being sick, and have him looking to Rodney for warmth (Rodney is like an oven), and to be chiding himself for what he considers his personal weakness. I think I made up for it in the end, because John is full of nothing but praise for how stalwart Rodney was throughout the whole ordeal..
And ordeal it was, as you know, if you’ve read the story.
Rodney McKay- The Most Troublesome Character Ever
The other problem (other than the POV issue) I had was Rodney himself. I had an online chat with another SGA fan (whose name I wish I could remember because it was a really good chat!) and she had stated that she’d be nervous about writing from Rodney’s POV on account of how smart the man is; it would be hard to know what goes on in his mind, because, if you’re that smart, are you even on the same planet as the rest of us? I agreed with her totally, glad to find out I wasn’t alone in this.
But as you can see, time and space forced me into doing just that and write only Rodney’s POV, the one thing I didn't want to do. Except it turned out to be fun to write Rodney, and this is why:
First, Rodney might be smart about computers and technology but he’s crap at the basics, so it was fun putting him through things that wouldn't worry someone else, but drive Rodney crazy, such as backwash, no soap or hot water, no toilet paper, and alien spit and semen. He just comes apart at the seams with stuff like that. (Of course, these things would also bother someone else - me - but to anyone else but Rodney, the idea of survival would overwhelm any other thought.)
Second, Rodney's funny. I didn’t know how much till I went back and read some of the stuff he says to John; I can see why John laughs so much when Rodney’s around. I don’t mean to pat myself on the back for writing Rodney’s funny lines, because, as any writer could tell you, sometimes you write something good and don’t remember writing it.
Third, Rodney's bossy. He is the bossiest character I've ever written about. Rodney took over the story, but I don’t mean in the normal way that a writer might say, “Oh those characters are So bossy! They just took over.” Because I’ve had that happen before this, when characters seem to go their own way and do stuff you didn’t expect. That’s pretty normal.
But in this story, I’d be typing along, and Rodney would be thinking about something he and John had done or shared, or he’d be talking to Beckett about stuff that hadn’t actually happened and that I hadn’t written and I’d have to do a double take and ask myself, where the heck did that come from?
Like, with the fracas in the mess hall. The next day, Rodney says to Beckett, “He almost decked that marine yesterday.” Except with the scene the way I’d written it, John exchanges words with the marine and goes off leaving his tray and that’s that, nobody decks nobody. So I told Rodney, "He never decked that marine!" And Rodney goes, clear as a bell, “Oh yes he did, you just weren’t paying attention!”
Then I thought about it, and if John decked the marine, that marine might be called upon to press charges against his superior officer, and that would take the focus of the story in a new direction. I convinced Rodney that John wouldn’t punch a marine, but he might punch Rodney for trying to interfere, and then, Rodney could stand his ground and NOT press charges, which would be much better for John, because Rodney would be alerted to how John’s not dealing with everything. At which point Rodney agreed, but THEN I had to go back and rewrite the entire scene anyway. He’s so bossy, is Rodney.
At least the punch in the mess hall solved one problem that I encountered, mid way the lack of tension between Rodney and John. Oh sure, I’d determined that they’d have REAL problems, not just imaginary ones, and by that I mean, it wasn’t going to be a story where a “misunderstanding” stands in the way of two lovers getting together, you know, like seeing someone with someone else, and thinking oh, no, they don’t love me.
No, I determined that John would be pissed at Rodney for doing what he did on Skandar to save them (which he feels guilty about, and his anger is directed at himself, but it expresses itself in rage), and Rodney is pissed at John for telling Beckett, when he promised he wouldn’t. Those seemed like real problems to me, but the punch in the mess hall brought everything to a head, very satisfactorily, so thanks to Rodney for that.
The other thing Rodney kept referring to was all the skin on skin action he and John shared in the Third and Second Camps, and at that point, while I was writing Part III, I hadn’t written all that much about skin on skin on Skandar.Rodney was like “Well, maybe it was dark, but if you’d been paying at ALL any attention, you would know what John would insist on to prevent hypothermia and you’d figure out where it led, so don’t be lazy, go back and put it in there!” And all the while he’s pointing and waving, and my deadlines looming, and STILL I went back and put in more skin on skin action because Rodney insisted I do it. Drat that Rodney!
I’ve never had that happen before - or maybe THIS is what writers mean when they say characters take over?
Ghent
I spent a lot of time on the scenes with Ghent; I hope I got it right and made Rodney’s growing freakout clear, except that he doesn’t freak out as much as he has a meltdown. Those scenes got written almost first, all in one weekend, so that I’d have a premise around which to build what came after. I had them in a different order (non-con sex, blow job, frottage, rape), but then I realized that Ghent’s actions would need to build in their ferocity to give them any meaning, so I switched them around and they worked well enough (blow job, frottage, non-con sex, rape) and the danger from Ghent grew.
I thought I made Ghent's name up, but a few weeks back, I was on my way to work, and I was behind a truck that said Ghent's Shipping. Oh well. I must have seen it before a time or two.
Who Can Handle It
Oddly, when they get back to Atlantis, it’s not Rodney who can’t manage, but John - John, who feels guilty about not noticing or being able to stop what was happening to Rodney. I was going to go on in a whole bit about Rodney thinking that John thought he was a bit of a whore for doing what he did, but that didn’t seem true to John’s character, so I left it out.
In the end, it’s John’s guilt that’s getting to him, he’s the team leader, and it’s his job to make sure the team gets back safe and sound. Maybe there’s not so much of that as there should be, but in the end, I tried to make it really clear that they BOTH worked on their part to get them out of there. If Rodney had not gotten them to the Second Camp, then there wouldn’t have been the opportunity for John to figure that they could just walk on out of there.
The Red Tunic
Speaking of just walking out of there, how ‘bout that red tunic? Well, in the beginning, I was going to have all the kehks wear toques to mark their status, only it seemed a bit excessive, what with the noise they’d make and the need for keys. I also spent a lot of time figuring out the layers of the society they were in, and that seemed excessive too, because the only thing the reader would need to know was that John and Rodney and all the other kehks were at the bottom of the totem pole. Except for the kehks who slept under the rain flap, they’re the ones really at the bottom.
So anyway, no toques, and at the last minute, I had to have something that would let kehks go in and out of the gate, so I gave them scarves. The red tunic came in about halfway through my writing as a reason for Ghent to go all out on Rodney at the last interaction, he gives it to Rodney and Rodney gives it to John and…(these little Eureka moments always happened in the middle of the night, so my writing tablet and pen on my nightstand got a workout.) I thought about taking the red tunic back to Atlantis, but then it seemed like it was bought with blood money, so…I had John use it to a) kill Ghent and b) to get them out of there, as scarves, which seemed much better. Because who on earth would want a reminder like that around?
Slash and Sex Scenes
Then there was the slash, which I anticipated would develop throughout the story. Only it didn’t work like that because it occurred to me that in the Third Camp, where survival is the name of the day, plus John’s getting sick and Rodney’s worrying about pathogens, any slash would be the LAST thing on their mind, so it couldn’t happen then.
And it couldn’t happen in the Second Camp, because Rodney’s getting raped every single day, so he’s not likely to be UP for anything, if you know what I mean. So all the slash, the real slash, happens in Atlantis, which only makes sense.
But, I tried to build intimacy on Skandar with the h/c that I laced throughout, all that skin on skin that Rodney insisted on, and basically the moments where Rodney and John share a laugh or a joke or a private moment - which then becomes the basis for this private obsession that Rodney develops for John. Rodney can’t stop thinking about John, he worries about the kehks and he’s pretty proud of himself for drinking backwash water out of a dipper. But mostly he thinks about John and reaches for him in the night….and wants John in his life.
My Favorite Scenes
In fact, my favorite scene (ask me in a year and it might be different) is what I call the pastry scene, which I wrote because I needed something to connect Rodney and John back up together after Skandar. Well, as you know, Rodney and John are connected, but in this story, John is keeping his distance, except he approaches Rodney to yell at him or to punch him, and then ends up on Rodney’s floor, because he, too, is probably reaching for Rodney in the night.
So the pastry scene (and who doesn’t love iced brownies) was my way of having Rodney blather on (as he does) and just lay it all out there. John, as you can see, is taken with Rodney for many reasons, one of which is his honesty, and his bravery, and also his protectiveness of John, which I discovered, nobody really does for John, not the way Rodney does it. That was fun to write, to have John go, nobody loves me like you do, in his way, and he says yes to Rodney and while neither Rodney nor John says I love you, they demonstrate it in their actions.
Yeah, it started getting gushy towards the end, but out of the darkness comes light, and I like happy endings anyhow. I hope you do too.
One thing I liked about this story (that surprised me when I realized it was there) was the reaction of people in Atlantis to John.
- When John returns, Rodney sees him surrounded by marines, who obviously adore him.
- When John decks Rodney, Weir lets him off the hook with a slap to the wrist.
- When Rodney asks a marine to watch over John, the marine practically salutes Rodney and runs to do this.
- When Rodney asks the cooks for iced brownies, they give him half a dozen.
Towards the end, I started developing very soft and tender feelings for the scene about the night before Rodney's SURE that John's going to die, and he kisses John and John says, "Are you crying over me, Rodney? Nobody ever does that," and "Here's me, kissing you goodbye." Yeah. I think I was on a roll then.
Theme
I like to think that my stories have a theme, though I mostly don’t know what that is until I’m done writing, and even then, if I come up with what I think is the theme, I’ll get readers who found something in there that I didn’t realize I was putting in.
Anyway, in the case of this story, I wanted to include something about the mission report that team members write after doing a mission. When Rodney and John get captured, Rodney thinks about what his mission report will say, and later, he thinks about mission reports that John has written, where John distills all the misery he goes through to a few abbreviations, which Rodney then discovers hide a whole lot behind them. Later in the story, John reads Rodney’s mission report out loud to him, and figures out what really went on, and in the very end, Rodney reads about himself in John’s mission report. Which, as you know, if you’ve read the story, is full of praise, heaps and heaps of praise. And there’s nothing more flattering than reading nice stuff about yourself, especially if you’ve got an ego like Rodney’s.
At the end of all this, I looked back and realized that what once was merely something to add texture to the story turned out to be part of the theme, and that is, how what we both say and don’t say turns out to communicate a whole lot that we didn’t intend. Or about how what we don’t say is louder than words. I think there might be more, but that’s pretty much it.
Another theme that I tried to put in the story (the failure or success of which will depend on reader’s reactions) is that of giving care, the “c” part of the classic “h/c” equation. The title was part of that, Lay Me Down So, as if to imply the word “carefully” at the end of it.
Research
This was an invaluable link about bronchitis.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/bronchitis-symptoms-in-adults.html
Here's some links about gulags:
These are all pretty graphic, as sadly gulags are still around.
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/17168
http://weburbanist.com/2008/01/27/7-abandoned-wonders-of-the-former-soviet-union
http://gulaghistory.org/nps/onlineexhibit/stalin/living.php
http://www.microkhan.com/2009/07/29/daily-bread/
http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/consecration_russia.php
Here's the link I used about hypothermia, to get the speed at which skin warms up or looses heat.
"The thermal conductivity of water is 240 times greater than still air. Wet clothing can extract body heat at a rate of 240 times greater than dry clothing."
Here's the link about artificial satellites, which is what I used for McKay yelling at Foster about her sloppy notation:
http://www.codeproject.com/KB/cs/UniversalEnggFrmwork6.aspx
And a picture of the bit I used:
And the bread came from this link:
http://gulaghistory.org/nps/onlineexhibit/stalin/living.php
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