my birthday, my year, my beautiful playskool dollhouse
I turned 28. i'm officially going to have to start scaling back the aging process for my career's sake. I've been advised to back it up to at least 25. See, i'm over the prodigy hill. way over. i'm no longer precocious and ambitious and impressive. with every passing month, i feel like more of a disappointment to my childhood self, who already felt like a failure for not having a record deal at 14.
What is our obsession with being baby geniuses anyway? They're totally gross.
I know a lot of people who feel their creative and emotional worth is somehow compromised by the fact of aging. (And I don't think this is worth crying over.) We have to get over it! I myself have decided that every time I start to feel SORRY for myself that way, I'll just review the baby genius oeuvre as much-deserved torture, including uninterrupted viewings of 'Baby Geniuses' and 'Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2'; their cousins 'Look Who's Talking,' 'Look Who's Talking Too,' and 'Look Who's talking NOW;' and of course, the entire line of "Baby Einstein" videos. In English AND Hebrew. I will also preemptively install a SoundBebe monitor in my own uterus, to ensure any future progeny won't suffer the same tragically delayed success. I think you should follow suit.
In other news: it turns out that kind of depression that is "normal" after traumatic events doesn't always go away after 6 months, or a year, or more. It turns out traumatic events can actually trigger depression that becomes a part of you, for the long haul. Ok, so this isn't actually news. Though being severely depressed consistently for over a year is new to me. Some things I have learned through it include: I can overpower anything with force, including the desire to stay in bed forever. This is, I think, a good thing in many people. In me, it's basically the same extremely strong will to function that always gets me in bad situations in the first place. (This is why the 8's stress move is the 5. To relegate dysfunction to total seclusion.) So to make a long story short, I think I'm missing some kind of internal checks and balances or something; or I have some misfiring synapses that fail to connect and correctly interpret extreme physical pain and exhaustion.
In still other news: Crazy Heart is NOT A GREAT MOVIE just because Jeff Bridges gained weight and is seen in ugly underwear with snot on his face. His performance is solid and the music is great, but I'm rooting for Colin Firth for best actor this year.
In still more other news: We're leaving on tour for 6 weeks in mid-April and miraculously, I get to keep my job, which I am extremely grateful for.
In yet even more other news: I've spent so much time in the past year falling asleep to Hulu, that all that remains in the puts-me-to-sleep category is 'Facts of Life', 'Charles in Charge', and 'Secret Life of the American Teenager'. My intro to ABC Family happened when I got hooked on the gymnastics teen show 'Make It Or Break It.' Equal parts teen fun + Christian right moral agenda = new terrain for me. 'Secret Life...' is even MORE xtian and baffling. Do any of you watch this stuff? I remember Entertainment Weekly talking about how great 'Secret Life' was when it first premiered - probably largely because Molly Ringwald is in it, but still, I'm surprised they didn't talk more about how fucking WEIRD it is to watch a TEEN SOAP where like, 2 people have sex and it's a HUGE DEAL that most of the students FROWN UPON. Compared to 90210, where even in the 90s, Donna's virginity was a major plot point all throughout, and she was absolutely the exception, these ABC Family shows are totally fascinating to me. Oh, and 'Make it or Break it' also features Candace Cameron as a Christian 30-something who unceremoniously gives abstinence talks to the gymnasts.
goodnight! back to work!
What is our obsession with being baby geniuses anyway? They're totally gross.
I know a lot of people who feel their creative and emotional worth is somehow compromised by the fact of aging. (And I don't think this is worth crying over.) We have to get over it! I myself have decided that every time I start to feel SORRY for myself that way, I'll just review the baby genius oeuvre as much-deserved torture, including uninterrupted viewings of 'Baby Geniuses' and 'Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2'; their cousins 'Look Who's Talking,' 'Look Who's Talking Too,' and 'Look Who's talking NOW;' and of course, the entire line of "Baby Einstein" videos. In English AND Hebrew. I will also preemptively install a SoundBebe monitor in my own uterus, to ensure any future progeny won't suffer the same tragically delayed success. I think you should follow suit.
In other news: it turns out that kind of depression that is "normal" after traumatic events doesn't always go away after 6 months, or a year, or more. It turns out traumatic events can actually trigger depression that becomes a part of you, for the long haul. Ok, so this isn't actually news. Though being severely depressed consistently for over a year is new to me. Some things I have learned through it include: I can overpower anything with force, including the desire to stay in bed forever. This is, I think, a good thing in many people. In me, it's basically the same extremely strong will to function that always gets me in bad situations in the first place. (This is why the 8's stress move is the 5. To relegate dysfunction to total seclusion.) So to make a long story short, I think I'm missing some kind of internal checks and balances or something; or I have some misfiring synapses that fail to connect and correctly interpret extreme physical pain and exhaustion.
In still other news: Crazy Heart is NOT A GREAT MOVIE just because Jeff Bridges gained weight and is seen in ugly underwear with snot on his face. His performance is solid and the music is great, but I'm rooting for Colin Firth for best actor this year.
In still more other news: We're leaving on tour for 6 weeks in mid-April and miraculously, I get to keep my job, which I am extremely grateful for.
In yet even more other news: I've spent so much time in the past year falling asleep to Hulu, that all that remains in the puts-me-to-sleep category is 'Facts of Life', 'Charles in Charge', and 'Secret Life of the American Teenager'. My intro to ABC Family happened when I got hooked on the gymnastics teen show 'Make It Or Break It.' Equal parts teen fun + Christian right moral agenda = new terrain for me. 'Secret Life...' is even MORE xtian and baffling. Do any of you watch this stuff? I remember Entertainment Weekly talking about how great 'Secret Life' was when it first premiered - probably largely because Molly Ringwald is in it, but still, I'm surprised they didn't talk more about how fucking WEIRD it is to watch a TEEN SOAP where like, 2 people have sex and it's a HUGE DEAL that most of the students FROWN UPON. Compared to 90210, where even in the 90s, Donna's virginity was a major plot point all throughout, and she was absolutely the exception, these ABC Family shows are totally fascinating to me. Oh, and 'Make it or Break it' also features Candace Cameron as a Christian 30-something who unceremoniously gives abstinence talks to the gymnasts.
goodnight! back to work!