(no subject)

[lostmystars]

upon returning to america

i have worked
and argued

work
and
argue

my bedroom is a mess
i am a mess.

transitioning

to what ?
where am i headed?

the world spins and spins
and i swing
towards the great blue sky
sweat beads forming on my forehead

i have fun, i do.

when i work hard
i don't think about the things that make me want to
saw off my limbs
when i'm alone

why the hell did i decide not to go drinking tonight ?

the moon was weird
(the kind of weird someone told me they liked)
but i decided against it before that.

it has become easier for me
to deal with the pain of heartbreak.
easier than it is
to deal with the struggles of relationships
and worrying
and
and
etc.

things are so much more complicated
twice as complicated

my best friend is leaving me soon.
coincidentally
august 22nd.

' remember 22 '

someone came
someone will leave

i thought my brand new world would be someplace else.

everything and everyone
changed

all my friends and all my lovers are dead