I recently went back to my childhood home and spent an afternoon nose deep inside of a Mr. Coffee box I found in the garage. This was no ordinary coffee maker box- this box was a time capsule to my life from ages 10-15. Before he left my mother.

I spent a rainy afternoon reading through journals I had written as early as 10 years old. Writing, ( Read more... )

I sometimes despise my own hypersensitiveness

My ability to feel things so much deeper than everyone else

Which requires so much reassurance from the world when the only reassurance I should need is me

It must be so abnormal

To crave so much

to be loved and understood

#livingwithbpd

#parentalbpd

I saw vulnerability drip from my father's eyes for the first time when I was fifteen.

it wouldn't be til many years later that i realized

that in that moment I learned the sweet yet sickening

balance of

empathy and blame

Don't you worry, baby.

Your love for him will fade.

Like always

You are obsessed with picking things up and putting them down.

For years, you've built blisters that have callused over the palms of your hands

Shielding them from being able to feel reality beneath them

If you weren't so focused on your self-perceived imperfections in the mirror; you may have noticed my mind has been throwing your stones into the ( Read more... )