The adventures truly never end
I just got back from the tanning salon, where I injested about four gallons of orange paint while it came shooting at me like a water hose. And if being in a big dark blue box wasn't bad enough, try having the plastic door LOCK. THE. FUCK. ON. YOU.
[Cut to me gasping for air and clawing at the door of what can only be described as a verticle coffin]
So besides almost dying and kicking in the door of a tanning booth Van Dam style, today hasn't been too bad. I spoke with my neighbor earlier this morning about purchasing his motorcycle, because lets face it..who would look better on a black motorcycle, me or a middle aged balding man? He just laughed and agreed that "Yeah, you look a motorcycle type of broad" so i'm thinking if I batt my eyelashes hard enough, I might score a motorcycle to speed around town on. Lets all just enjoy the mental image of me hitting a median somewhere and getting a face full of asphalt. I'm looking foreward to it.
I've been painting non stop all weekend to release some of my stress, so expect some interesting photos in the next post (they involve goldfish and underwear, not necessarily in that order). We're having a Super Bowl mini party, my brothers friends are dead set on seeing it on our big screen in HD. Normally I'd be down there showing off my tan, the one I nearly lost myfuckinglife for, but instead I might just sit up here in a jersey with my good pals Ben, Jerry, and Jack. Watch the game and scream like someone on the tv might actually hear me.
(..Ice cream and whiskey? Sometimes I scare myself with how truly redneck I can be.)
[Cut to me gasping for air and clawing at the door of what can only be described as a verticle coffin]
So besides almost dying and kicking in the door of a tanning booth Van Dam style, today hasn't been too bad. I spoke with my neighbor earlier this morning about purchasing his motorcycle, because lets face it..who would look better on a black motorcycle, me or a middle aged balding man? He just laughed and agreed that "Yeah, you look a motorcycle type of broad" so i'm thinking if I batt my eyelashes hard enough, I might score a motorcycle to speed around town on. Lets all just enjoy the mental image of me hitting a median somewhere and getting a face full of asphalt. I'm looking foreward to it.
I've been painting non stop all weekend to release some of my stress, so expect some interesting photos in the next post (they involve goldfish and underwear, not necessarily in that order). We're having a Super Bowl mini party, my brothers friends are dead set on seeing it on our big screen in HD. Normally I'd be down there showing off my tan, the one I nearly lost myfuckinglife for, but instead I might just sit up here in a jersey with my good pals Ben, Jerry, and Jack. Watch the game and scream like someone on the tv might actually hear me.
(..Ice cream and whiskey? Sometimes I scare myself with how truly redneck I can be.)