(no subject)
Click to viewThis speaks to me on so many levels. "If you're not reallll then how come I feeeellll this way???" --ME TO EVERY FICTIONAL CHARACTER EVER.
Anyway, so, I don't really know if I can bring myself to finish DA2 with my canon Hawke again! Just because my first playthrough was so insane and perfect that I can't even. It was very much just me being extremely emotionally engaged and reacting to what was going on and everything just ended up happening so organically... and I can't repeat that! It's impossible! And it's making me like things less and less as I go on. It's one thing to replay it with a different character, but things happened so specifically with Marian Hawke and I can't get it to be the same again.
On top of that, I feel like knowing what's coming is influencing the choices I make this time. For example, the first time I played, I didn't know what was going to happen after Bethany got taken to the Circle and I was furious and that showed in the choices I made with my Hawke. Like, being in the Circle was THE WORST THING that could have happened to Bethany and I wasn't going to rest (!!!!) until I broke her out!!! But now I'm like, well, at least she's not dead!!! lol
And I hate to say this, because I've always been a really big Anders fangirl but... oh my god, he's coming across as really kinda... awful? I thought this time I would have more sympathy or something, knowing what I know and having just recently gone through Awakening with all these feeeeeellls. But. Not the case. When I picked the flirty option that says "Well, he can't complain about his looks, anyway." And he's all, "No, don't go there. This isn't going to end well. I don't want to hurt you." Usually I pick one of the blue/purple options but this time I picked red because it felt more like what my Hawke would say. "I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions." AND HE STRAIGHT UP SAYS "NO." And I'm like, UH BACK UP, what did you just say???? So basically I don't want replaying the game to ruin the Anders I've built up in my head :( And I'm afraid it's kinda happening already :(( I've just got to block out some things, I guess.
Also, I ran around the first time with Anders/Bethany/Fenris, and later Anders/Fenris/Isabela or Aveline (which I didn't remember until I went back and read my old post). This time my Act 1 was pretty much Varric/Anders/Bethany. Like, CONTSTANTLY. And it has way more of an effect on things than you would think! There is hardly ANY mage/templar banter. Actually, there wasn't a ton of banter that I remember at all. And all the stuff that goes on between Fenris and Anders really shaped how my Hawke felt about certain things and certain people so to not have that... it was kinda weird.
And then I start up Act 2 and I get Anders' first conversation and it jumps right into "I'd drown us in blood to keep you safe" and I'm all WHOA WHOA WHOA TOO FAST. I didn't have a problem with it the first time, because after Bethany, I was in that rage-y kinda mindset and I was like YES ME TOO I WON'T LET THEM TAKE YOUUUU. But this time, like I mentioned earlier, I'm feeling a bit more chill about things and.. yeahhh.
So tl;dr, everything is happening wrong and it sucks :(
In the meantime though, while I'm figuring out if I want to continue DA2 or not, I think I'm going to start TES: Arena! maybedeadcat just started cause he got the awesome Elder Scrolls Anthology for Christmas, so I figured what the heck! Besides, it's a game that will actually run on this old piece of junk computer so yay! (I CAN PLAY DOS GAMESSSSS HAHAHA I'M UNSTOPPABLEEEEEE!!) I actually started last night but GDI character creation is no easier on old games :| I sat at the class screen for like, 30 minutes while I read through everything on UESP before giving up. I need to think about it more!
And I think it's interesting that the Khajiit aren't actually cat people??? From the online manual, "They are a fair-skinned people who are extremely hardy, intelligent, and agile. Legend has it that they descended from an intelligent feline race, for they still retain a strange cast to their features." WHAAAAT! I don't know what to make of that. But definitely interesting.