The wound is slowly starting to seal..
Today is the last day of 2012, and I am so happy to get away from it all.
Writing in here truly makes me feel so much better, and I can talk about certain things without a twinge of hurt behind it.
I've learned that people can do the worst things to you, but it makes you blossom into something so amazing.
Tonight I went to karaoke again, for the second time in a row in literally like..6 months? I really do think it was much longer, cause I was going to karaoke for Chris' job with Sam. There were so many encouraging words, and laughter, and just pure happiness. It felt good to sing along side with Jamel, and know that he is still such an amazing person and friend. Things are going to be changing in 2013 that I think will be very life changing, it IS going to be life changing.
I'm growing into a young woman. I feel the rim of water filling my eyes, I'm shedding my last tears of everything. The hurt, the betrayal, everything. Cause if I bring it with me into 2013, it will destroy what is left of this mending/ healing process.
Being friends with Chris isn't going to work, cause every time I do, I such become a completely sad and mopey person. I know we will never be together every again, it's not happening. I must be a fool as to do that to myself. And I can thank Allahia for ruining my chances of ever being with him, which I'm pretty sure she's wanted; want him for herself at last, cause that's why she doesn't want to have anything to do with me as Chris told me back in October. But there is someone out there for me..I'm saying this to reassure myself, cause I really don't believe it at all. Cause I don't know what it's like to be treated like a princess. For someone to go the ends of the earth for me and show how much they want me and want me for me. To patch me up and sweep me off my feet, and show me the true meaning of love. I will have it one day again, I will be patient and kind, and let love come to me, rather then search for love.
I'm pretty tired..4:18 in the morning..and had a wonderful night with people who actually care and love me. Unlike the phony love that people claim that they have for me. And it was white..not black. White for purity, that's the happiness I felt from all my friends tonight. I am going to enjoy my last months with them. I really am...
Writing in here truly makes me feel so much better, and I can talk about certain things without a twinge of hurt behind it.
I've learned that people can do the worst things to you, but it makes you blossom into something so amazing.
Tonight I went to karaoke again, for the second time in a row in literally like..6 months? I really do think it was much longer, cause I was going to karaoke for Chris' job with Sam. There were so many encouraging words, and laughter, and just pure happiness. It felt good to sing along side with Jamel, and know that he is still such an amazing person and friend. Things are going to be changing in 2013 that I think will be very life changing, it IS going to be life changing.
I'm growing into a young woman. I feel the rim of water filling my eyes, I'm shedding my last tears of everything. The hurt, the betrayal, everything. Cause if I bring it with me into 2013, it will destroy what is left of this mending/ healing process.
Being friends with Chris isn't going to work, cause every time I do, I such become a completely sad and mopey person. I know we will never be together every again, it's not happening. I must be a fool as to do that to myself. And I can thank Allahia for ruining my chances of ever being with him, which I'm pretty sure she's wanted; want him for herself at last, cause that's why she doesn't want to have anything to do with me as Chris told me back in October. But there is someone out there for me..I'm saying this to reassure myself, cause I really don't believe it at all. Cause I don't know what it's like to be treated like a princess. For someone to go the ends of the earth for me and show how much they want me and want me for me. To patch me up and sweep me off my feet, and show me the true meaning of love. I will have it one day again, I will be patient and kind, and let love come to me, rather then search for love.
I'm pretty tired..4:18 in the morning..and had a wonderful night with people who actually care and love me. Unlike the phony love that people claim that they have for me. And it was white..not black. White for purity, that's the happiness I felt from all my friends tonight. I am going to enjoy my last months with them. I really am...