Aug 30, 2010 22:48
I never would have guessed, one year ago today, that I would be sitting where I am and doing what I am doing. A year ago today, I was teaching in a classroom, confident in my teaching abilities, confident that I could be a good teacher. I never imagined that I would end up losing my job and that I would struggle to find even part-time employment.
Last week I had an interview for a position, and I thought, "Great! This is it! I finally have my chance, and I know that I would be great for this job!" Well, I did not get the job. I gave a great interview. I knew the interviewer, and I was even told that I should apply if another position comes up because I "have a lot of fans." My references must have said wonderful things. But I wasn't the right person for the job.
So that leaves me where, exactly? It leaves me here, where it is the first day of school at my old job, and my stomach twists because I should be there. I should be with the students I have worked with for the last three years, in a job I became an expert in. And it hurts not to be there.
So I'm here. I have applied to a couple of new jobs, but as the school year comes to a start this week and next, I begin to feel that it isn't likely that I will get a job between now and then. I suppose I should be a little more positive; after all, it's possible. But the chances become fewer and the opportunities dry up. I have a couple of districts where I've applied to be a sub, so there's always that. But I want my own job, with my own classroom and class schedule. I'm trying to have faith that there's an opportunity out there for me, but I don't know what it is or where to look. I'm just trying to stay hopeful.
I know I'm not the only one in this situation, to not have a job. I have many things to be grateful for: a place to live, caring family, no credit card debt, good friends who support me, fresh tomatoes in the backyard, and all of those other things. And I am grateful for these things and many more.
I just wish I had a job.