I fucking miss his stupid ass.
It's pathetic. Everything reminds me of him-- every time I listen to the Cramps, every time I play Guitar Hero ("Troogdooor!"); when I watch Rocky Horror, when anyone talks about Georgia or Florida... shit, just... everything. It's driving me crazy. I fell asleep last night thinking about him, which is lame, because my final thoughts before sleep generally consist of little more than, "Fuck, I'm cold. Fuck, I don't want to get up in the morning. Fuck, I'm missing The Daily Show but fuck, I'm tired." & I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm tired of one-night stands & casual sex; I'm tired of getting wasted on a Friday or Saturday night, & waking up the following morning in a sleazy hotel bed beside someone who I'd rather not associate myself with. I want a real, true, honest-to-God relationship-- with him. See my problem? I'm far too picky, far too demanding. Maybe I'm in love with the idea of him. Oh well. I want that idea, attached to a body.
I've tried calling his old cell-phone number-- disconnected, I believe. His mother has no idea where he is, only that he's somewhere in Florida; last time I heard he was in Miami & before that, Destin. Hell, he's probably seeing someone else... probably seen a few someone elses. Lord knows I have. But it's hard to let that memory go, that idea of perfect happiness & complete retardation that only the two of us understood. Whatever.
I'm going to school now. Only three hours late. Get me the fuck outta here.
I've tried calling his old cell-phone number-- disconnected, I believe. His mother has no idea where he is, only that he's somewhere in Florida; last time I heard he was in Miami & before that, Destin. Hell, he's probably seeing someone else... probably seen a few someone elses. Lord knows I have. But it's hard to let that memory go, that idea of perfect happiness & complete retardation that only the two of us understood. Whatever.
I'm going to school now. Only three hours late. Get me the fuck outta here.