(no subject)
I have always held the belief that I will be fine. It at times has seen rather naive and at other times entirely idiotic. This faith in myself has been the cause of some truly ugly situations. For example I held to the idea that I would be alright wandering around a new city by myself that I would have a good time and make it back. Dehydrated, lost, and roaming along the side of a major highway at night my faith in my abilities was being seriously questioned. There is nothing like shivering with fear and cold while oncoming traffic zooms by and all you can do is keep moving and look around for anything that seems familiar. There was a moment though when I saw the shards of broken glass lying on the side of the road, the headlights of a passing car reflected off of them. In a dangerous, grimy, noir kind of way it was beautiful. Live in the moment it's an ideal to be aspired to for some people, for me it's all I know as I am truly abysmal at planning and easily distracted by shiny things. Always held to the idea that everything was going to be fine and when because of bad luck or a bad idea things get ugly; well in that situation its sink or swim and in my heart I truly believe that I will always make it. One can get through almost anything if you hold on to your courage and hold back the panic. And there has never been a time no matter how sad, scared, hurt, or tired I was that I could not admire something in my situation or surroundings that was beautiful. It's a kind of silly quality but it is one of the things I like most about myself.