(no subject)
so, there's 2 movies coming out in the near future that in theory I should be thrilled about, but are in one way or another bumming me out ... one is the Robert Downey Jr/Jude Law "Sherlock Holmes" and the other is a new version of "I, Claudius".
I think Robert Downey Jr could play a good Holmes (he's way too short, but somehow I think he could figure out how to play a drug-addicted weirdo smartass ...), and Jude Law* looks fine as Watson, I just don't like what I've heard about the movie in general. I keep hearing about how it's going to emphasise Holmes' boxing and fencing and "baritsu" and all the ass he can kick, and it's like, wow. finally, a movie about a guy beating people up, that's so new and different and totally the point of Sherlock Holmes.
the casting of Irene Adler AND Mary Morstan is also sigh-inducing, with it's "canon-warping for the sake of hettifying" nature. hopefully they'll at least retain Irene Adler's drag kinging (yeah. "THE woman" in Sherlock Holmes' life spends most of the one story she's in dressed as a boy. make of that what you will). and some of the elements of "The Sign of Four", with Holmes all "bah, she's not that attractive ... anyway, the hottest woman I ever knew killed babies ... let me make you breakfast, and play you to sleep with my violin, and make you dinner, and ... you're going to marry her anyway? fuck you, you getting-married son of a bitch, I'm going on a coke bender *sulk*".
srsly slashy shit
*Jude Law has already done a bit of work in the Holmes universe ... in an episode of the fantabulous Jeremy Brett series, he plays a stableboy who dresses in drag to fake the continued-existance of a dead duchess. I'll take screencaps later
as for "I, Claudius" ... there's no cast or director or anything listed yet, it's just due to come out in 2010, so I don't have any complaints like that yet ... I just think it's a bad idea. I just finished the two books, and there really is way too much material to handle well in movie-length. plenty of stuff got cut out of the 13 hour long mini-series, I have no idea how they're going to squeeze it into 2 hours, even if they don't include anything from "Claudius the God". I'm going to see it, obviously, but I think a miniseries was the best way to go. also, it was done superwell. the only thing I can think of that would be improved would be special effects - you could do some Gladiator style "OMG holy shit it is Rome and it is AWESOME" CGI scenery, you could go nuts with all of Caligula's colliseum wackness, you could actually show Germanicus leading Roman legions against the filthy, filthy Germans (BTW - finding out that Robert Graves served in WWI and wrote these books right before WWII explains an awful lot of the anti-German sentiment. not that Romans didn't have that anyway, but damn he hates him some Germans) ... it's cool, but not really necessary. it's just not an ACTION story ... lots of things happen, but it's not going to be "300" and I really hope they don't try to make it "300", because my nerdrage will be unspeakable (actually, it will be incredibly speakable, and my roommates will kill me). I will totally see it, cause I am nerding so hard on these books/series, and I'm so interested to see the casting (there can be miniseries cast cameos?), but I'm not expecting a lot.
oh, and the women will be way hotter. Livia will probably be about the same (and OMG they better cast someone awesome as her, Sian Phillips rocked the hell out of that role), cause her thing isn't really about her sexiness, but Messalina, Drusilla, Calpernia etc will be a lot sexier than their mini-series counterparts. and it'll be way more explicit about the crazy shit Caligula does
I think Robert Downey Jr could play a good Holmes (he's way too short, but somehow I think he could figure out how to play a drug-addicted weirdo smartass ...), and Jude Law* looks fine as Watson, I just don't like what I've heard about the movie in general. I keep hearing about how it's going to emphasise Holmes' boxing and fencing and "baritsu" and all the ass he can kick, and it's like, wow. finally, a movie about a guy beating people up, that's so new and different and totally the point of Sherlock Holmes.
the casting of Irene Adler AND Mary Morstan is also sigh-inducing, with it's "canon-warping for the sake of hettifying" nature. hopefully they'll at least retain Irene Adler's drag kinging (yeah. "THE woman" in Sherlock Holmes' life spends most of the one story she's in dressed as a boy. make of that what you will). and some of the elements of "The Sign of Four", with Holmes all "bah, she's not that attractive ... anyway, the hottest woman I ever knew killed babies ... let me make you breakfast, and play you to sleep with my violin, and make you dinner, and ... you're going to marry her anyway? fuck you, you getting-married son of a bitch, I'm going on a coke bender *sulk*".
srsly slashy shit
*Jude Law has already done a bit of work in the Holmes universe ... in an episode of the fantabulous Jeremy Brett series, he plays a stableboy who dresses in drag to fake the continued-existance of a dead duchess. I'll take screencaps later
as for "I, Claudius" ... there's no cast or director or anything listed yet, it's just due to come out in 2010, so I don't have any complaints like that yet ... I just think it's a bad idea. I just finished the two books, and there really is way too much material to handle well in movie-length. plenty of stuff got cut out of the 13 hour long mini-series, I have no idea how they're going to squeeze it into 2 hours, even if they don't include anything from "Claudius the God". I'm going to see it, obviously, but I think a miniseries was the best way to go. also, it was done superwell. the only thing I can think of that would be improved would be special effects - you could do some Gladiator style "OMG holy shit it is Rome and it is AWESOME" CGI scenery, you could go nuts with all of Caligula's colliseum wackness, you could actually show Germanicus leading Roman legions against the filthy, filthy Germans (BTW - finding out that Robert Graves served in WWI and wrote these books right before WWII explains an awful lot of the anti-German sentiment. not that Romans didn't have that anyway, but damn he hates him some Germans) ... it's cool, but not really necessary. it's just not an ACTION story ... lots of things happen, but it's not going to be "300" and I really hope they don't try to make it "300", because my nerdrage will be unspeakable (actually, it will be incredibly speakable, and my roommates will kill me). I will totally see it, cause I am nerding so hard on these books/series, and I'm so interested to see the casting (there can be miniseries cast cameos?), but I'm not expecting a lot.
oh, and the women will be way hotter. Livia will probably be about the same (and OMG they better cast someone awesome as her, Sian Phillips rocked the hell out of that role), cause her thing isn't really about her sexiness, but Messalina, Drusilla, Calpernia etc will be a lot sexier than their mini-series counterparts. and it'll be way more explicit about the crazy shit Caligula does