Jul 21, 2014 18:39
In a funk I can't get out of.
I meant to volunteer to do something productive this summer but... haven't. I haven't even done much of the independent studying that I wanted to do to prepare for fall, because it's going to be a rough semester.
I got accepted into this American Honors program which was a big boost, but... I will have to decline. Tuition is a thousand dollars more to be in the program, and even with aid I can't justify it. I'm also thinking that it's not for me, no matter what they say. If I were a new college student, I would probably need the extra advising, but I'm not. Also, the honors classes they are talking up are classes I've already taken. I don't need algebra, I need trig/geometry and calculus. And I'm done with English, I think.
Also, I don't need any extra stress this fall semester. 14 hours, while working full time. And the first 4 days of the week, Mon-Thurs I'll be operating on like, 3 hrs sleep on the weeks I work. Friday/Saturday/Sunday will be sleepy time. I don't need extra activities. Unless it's volunteering at the Botanical Gardens. That I do want to do but haven't managed to turn in my application for.
I've also decided I would like to go to a different 4 yr University in another city. Which means I'd probably be living on loans for my final 2 years plus any grad school I do right after. And scholarships if I manage to win any. I just... need to get out of here. Plus, the University in my city has just a straight up bio degree, while ISU has biology with 5 or so concentrations to choose from. I think that's a better program, but we'll see if it's feasible.
I'm just stressed and angry and frustrated and grrrrrr. All kinds of grrrrr. The lack of sleep lately doesn't help, nor does the massive headache and the fact that my kindle died and I have to replace it. And I missed the deadline for student loans for fall semester, and I need a new computer too.
Sometimes Stargate fandom has been able to distract me from my grrrrrrrness. I've bought seasons 1-4 on dvd this summer, even though I shouldn't spend money. I try and justify it that they were only $10 a piece, but still. I think my Sam Carter love may rival even my enduring Dana Scully love. Seriously, it's made me want to learn more about physics. Most of it still goes over my head, but I watched this series I got from the library with this physicist who would discuss tech seen in sci fi and how he would use real technology to create it, and I loved it.
whining,
school,
sam carter