(no subject)
I had an interview on Tuesday w/ a beauty school. It went really well, the people were really nice to me and seemed to be having a good time, but I'm really confused about what to do. On one hand, I'd absolutely love to go to school, I'd feel like I'm finally doing something that'll help out my future, and it'd help me be able to get a steady job. But on the other hand it's kind of a lot of money that I don't have. I'm sure I could get a loan or something, but I'm really nervous about it. I have a really bad habit of freaking out when I'm stressed and dropping everything that seems difficult. I literally wouldn't be able to do it if I actually went for it, but with Rob being unemployed and me only making 40 a week, I really don't know if I could afford the payments on the loan. I dunno, I could just be worrying about nothing and just have to go for it head first to get over my nerves, but at the same time... I just can't help worrying, I guess. It's a bad habit AND a symptom of my BPD, so I don't always know when I'm worrying for a good reason or because my brain chemicals are making me. It drives me a little nuts :p