Nothing More or Less
I want. and need. something that is so stupid to want and need. Because I hardly know it. But it's all I think about.
I don't ask for much, just for my mind to be at peace; for it to be at peace with somebody. I constantly drown my brain in alcohol and surround myself around people who don't care about me (for the most part). At the end of the night I realize I am still not happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to make someone else happy. I want them to make me happy. I don't give up. I don't leave.
I am so lucky to have a best friend who genuinely cares about me. But I am sick of being alone in the relationship category. I am sick of being a one night thing. I am sick of no one knowing what I'm about. I'm more than a "hyper annoying bitch". A lot more. I want to fast forward to years from now to see where I stand. Then I would know if I'm truly waiting around for something great or wasting time taking one lonely breathe after the other.
I don't ask for much, just for my mind to be at peace; for it to be at peace with somebody. I constantly drown my brain in alcohol and surround myself around people who don't care about me (for the most part). At the end of the night I realize I am still not happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to make someone else happy. I want them to make me happy. I don't give up. I don't leave.
I am so lucky to have a best friend who genuinely cares about me. But I am sick of being alone in the relationship category. I am sick of being a one night thing. I am sick of no one knowing what I'm about. I'm more than a "hyper annoying bitch". A lot more. I want to fast forward to years from now to see where I stand. Then I would know if I'm truly waiting around for something great or wasting time taking one lonely breathe after the other.