Like that snail at the bottom of that huge staircase...
FUUUCK!
Today was like not good. I got super depressed and out of control and couldn't get a handle of myself. I just felt like I was failign school and all of the 'adult'ish figures I went to for advice basically threw me the wrong kind f rope. I ended up having to go to counseling services. To be honest she wasn't super helpful but I got to talk and cry myself out and I felt better when I left so I suppose she did everything she needed to.
I have been feeling so fat lately. It doesn't help that my chest is fucking massive. Everyone makes fun of it but I hate it. I have considered lookign at like reduction but I don't bother because I don't want surgery and I'm pretty sure it's expensive. So until they cause me back problems I'll just shut up. But clothes are a serious pain in the butt even shops for BIG people don't have my bra size. And Bra's aren't cheap girls like to have several nice ones you know.. that we look good in. Not like gross dingy ones because it's the only one that fucking fits us proper stuff. Not cool.
Not trying to gross anyone out ere but it's my fucking blog journal and if you don't like it you can choke on a dick. No one is making you read. And if you knew me before you probably expected I talked like this anyway because you're heard me do it so it's no huge suprise
I bet no one even reads this so that kind of aside is totally stupid.
I have a plan to get in a little bit better shape with DDR like I did when I was in Middle school I feel like the trivality of running in place and jogging is stupid but trying to regain my ddr ability is somethign I've always felt bad about. My old ddr friends are still in ddr shape and I get tired half way through an 8 footer. It's shameful. Chris says it sounds sillt but I don't mind being silly in life.
I kinda already am.
I feel more in control about school right now but I'm glad I took the night off to recover. I have found out some new tricks in keeping myself motivated successful and sane. I'm glad
I'm also looking forward to the Grand Prix and Yu Gi Oh tournaments coming up. I love being in the CCG scene and that I can make a job out of it makes me even happier.
Also dealing with all these idiots will help me train my shit eating grin when I work at Xanadu and want to punch a nerdy customer.
Or the next time a yu gi oh player tries to offer me money for sex at an event.
Prepare for STORIES!!!!
I've been meaning to blog in my theatre blog for a while about my last stint working with bill and what's about to happen tomorrow which I swear will enrage me to no small degree.
Also in the Green Memoirs. And the Graphic Novel my sisters and I are working on .. and the panels for otakon, and the table for otakon, and the web comic with kess, and the other comic and blah biddidly blah.
And the afghan.. casn't forget that I have to finish it it was for nmy da. even though he always told me it was no rush. =)
I still miss him so much.
But i'm not supposed ot be making myself sad right now so I'll leave off and go read my new book
RUMO!!!!
PS I ran into DavidRex at the Barnes and Nobles it made me very happy to catch up with him. I hope to hang out with him again soon. =D
Night!
Today was like not good. I got super depressed and out of control and couldn't get a handle of myself. I just felt like I was failign school and all of the 'adult'ish figures I went to for advice basically threw me the wrong kind f rope. I ended up having to go to counseling services. To be honest she wasn't super helpful but I got to talk and cry myself out and I felt better when I left so I suppose she did everything she needed to.
I have been feeling so fat lately. It doesn't help that my chest is fucking massive. Everyone makes fun of it but I hate it. I have considered lookign at like reduction but I don't bother because I don't want surgery and I'm pretty sure it's expensive. So until they cause me back problems I'll just shut up. But clothes are a serious pain in the butt even shops for BIG people don't have my bra size. And Bra's aren't cheap girls like to have several nice ones you know.. that we look good in. Not like gross dingy ones because it's the only one that fucking fits us proper stuff. Not cool.
Not trying to gross anyone out ere but it's my fucking blog journal and if you don't like it you can choke on a dick. No one is making you read. And if you knew me before you probably expected I talked like this anyway because you're heard me do it so it's no huge suprise
I bet no one even reads this so that kind of aside is totally stupid.
I have a plan to get in a little bit better shape with DDR like I did when I was in Middle school I feel like the trivality of running in place and jogging is stupid but trying to regain my ddr ability is somethign I've always felt bad about. My old ddr friends are still in ddr shape and I get tired half way through an 8 footer. It's shameful. Chris says it sounds sillt but I don't mind being silly in life.
I kinda already am.
I feel more in control about school right now but I'm glad I took the night off to recover. I have found out some new tricks in keeping myself motivated successful and sane. I'm glad
I'm also looking forward to the Grand Prix and Yu Gi Oh tournaments coming up. I love being in the CCG scene and that I can make a job out of it makes me even happier.
Also dealing with all these idiots will help me train my shit eating grin when I work at Xanadu and want to punch a nerdy customer.
Or the next time a yu gi oh player tries to offer me money for sex at an event.
Prepare for STORIES!!!!
I've been meaning to blog in my theatre blog for a while about my last stint working with bill and what's about to happen tomorrow which I swear will enrage me to no small degree.
Also in the Green Memoirs. And the Graphic Novel my sisters and I are working on .. and the panels for otakon, and the table for otakon, and the web comic with kess, and the other comic and blah biddidly blah.
And the afghan.. casn't forget that I have to finish it it was for nmy da. even though he always told me it was no rush. =)
I still miss him so much.
But i'm not supposed ot be making myself sad right now so I'll leave off and go read my new book
RUMO!!!!
PS I ran into DavidRex at the Barnes and Nobles it made me very happy to catch up with him. I hope to hang out with him again soon. =D
Night!