Preachers
I don't post anymore. It's not for lack of having something to say.. I suppose I think it'sm a lack of having someone to read it.
I think that while my mind ocnstantly over flows with things to say and topics to diatribe about I find that talking to myself only elongates my feelings of insanity. What is the point of saying all this to an ear who has not only heard it all before but is going to agree with everythign i say?
I'm arguing with myself.
Things have been so crazy for me. BUt I suppose I'm at a point in life I never thought I would be at. My dad died. I didn't think years and years ago that i could ever cope or deal or live with him dying and now that he has died I find myself doing all the things I never thought I would be able to do. I'm not sure if that makes me sad that I can move on without him even if he would want me to or glad that I have found a place in my life for the sadness and that eventually the sadness will fade and that place will be a place for memories.
I get sad so much and it's usually because I realize I won't be able to see him todaty.. ior tomorrow or any day for that matter. There was so much I wanted to share with him and so much I wanted to do and so many people I wanted to meet him and it really fucking sucks I guess is the most ineloquent way to put it.
Today at school they are pushing SGA elections. and in the past while I have found myself not giving a shit this year I pressed candidates to tell me why I should give a shit. Only one did really. Who made me feel like if I put effort forth then so would he.. if I tried to make the school and the communities within it better places that I wouldn't be doing it alone which is what the SGA is supposed to be all about.
So I had this long conversation with Cody and aaron telling them that we can't just hold the SGA responsible unless we will hold ourselves responsible for not getting involved either.
Then we watched a bunch of crazy music videos:
Telephone Lady Gaga
I feel better Hot Chip
This Too Shall Pass Okgo
And discussed thier elements and blah blah biddly blah.
Now I'm at work reading yet another graphic novel wondering when I can get people to actually want to just randomlly hang out in the store while I'm here./
i should be reading this play and writing and essay dfor it but.. I suppose I'll get to all that a little later tonight.
_Liz
I think that while my mind ocnstantly over flows with things to say and topics to diatribe about I find that talking to myself only elongates my feelings of insanity. What is the point of saying all this to an ear who has not only heard it all before but is going to agree with everythign i say?
I'm arguing with myself.
Things have been so crazy for me. BUt I suppose I'm at a point in life I never thought I would be at. My dad died. I didn't think years and years ago that i could ever cope or deal or live with him dying and now that he has died I find myself doing all the things I never thought I would be able to do. I'm not sure if that makes me sad that I can move on without him even if he would want me to or glad that I have found a place in my life for the sadness and that eventually the sadness will fade and that place will be a place for memories.
I get sad so much and it's usually because I realize I won't be able to see him todaty.. ior tomorrow or any day for that matter. There was so much I wanted to share with him and so much I wanted to do and so many people I wanted to meet him and it really fucking sucks I guess is the most ineloquent way to put it.
Today at school they are pushing SGA elections. and in the past while I have found myself not giving a shit this year I pressed candidates to tell me why I should give a shit. Only one did really. Who made me feel like if I put effort forth then so would he.. if I tried to make the school and the communities within it better places that I wouldn't be doing it alone which is what the SGA is supposed to be all about.
So I had this long conversation with Cody and aaron telling them that we can't just hold the SGA responsible unless we will hold ourselves responsible for not getting involved either.
Then we watched a bunch of crazy music videos:
Telephone Lady Gaga
I feel better Hot Chip
This Too Shall Pass Okgo
And discussed thier elements and blah blah biddly blah.
Now I'm at work reading yet another graphic novel wondering when I can get people to actually want to just randomlly hang out in the store while I'm here./
i should be reading this play and writing and essay dfor it but.. I suppose I'll get to all that a little later tonight.
_Liz