OMG! it's my past life!
Picked up Development Girl: the hollywood virgin's guide to making it in the movie business cos it seemed like such a fun read... the section called Use Me (Abuse Me) featured a few anecdotes about the horrible suffering that personal assistants go through hehehe... well.. i guess as the author says:
If as an assistant you can use your wiles, common sense, patience and creativity to "produce" your superior's personal life, one day soon you will be qualified to produce a movie.
She swears these are absolutely true - and i actually believe her... LOL.
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Fade in:
INT: Malibu - Day
A Sunday morning. Adele Assistant is relaxing (sort of; she does have a script in her lap) on the sofa at her parents' beach house. Or she is realxing until Ballsy Boss calls.
Off Camera:
SFX: Phone rings.
Adele: Hello.
Ballsy: Adele, it's Ballsy. Boyfriend and i were going to have bagel brunch in bed, and I just was going to go out to pick up the cream cheese, and I couldn't remember - do I like Philadelphia Light or Philadelphia Free?
Adele: You like Light.
Ballsy: Are you sure, because the Light has fat, doesn't it?
Adele: I'm sure, because once you said that the Free had a contrary consistency.
Ballsy: Oh, yeah. (Pause) You're out here, right?
Adele: You just called me here.
Ballsy: I know. So, umm, will you go pick some up and bring it over to us? And, oh, get some bagels, too - sesame, poppy, and cinnamon raisin.
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Here's what Abe Assistant endured when his boss, Bitchola, was detained in the Big Apple and apparently had no clean undies remaining. Suffice it to say that her snazzy hotel had a laundry service. Suffice it to say that she was blocks away from Bloomie's, Bergdorf's, Bendel's and Barneys. But Bitchola would not think of buying her own bloomers.
Instead, from a taxi, she called Abe Assistant across the country, demanding that he phone La Perla lingerie store on Madison and arrange for new, fresh undies to be messengered to the Regency immediately. Then she abruptly "had to jump", leaving Abe to agonize over the size of his boss's ass. He didn't want to offend her by getting underwear too big, but if it was too tight and she was uncomfortable, he would definitely live to regret it. He consulted Avery Assistant, who was Bitchola's Second Assistant. Avery refused to run the risk of involvement.
Abe was on his own. He called the store.
"Does she prefer thongs?"
Like he would know! He settled on one thong and two briefs the size of which was decided upon by the shop's expert manager, based on his description of Bitchola's petite but rounded buttocks.
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hehehehehehehe...
If as an assistant you can use your wiles, common sense, patience and creativity to "produce" your superior's personal life, one day soon you will be qualified to produce a movie.
She swears these are absolutely true - and i actually believe her... LOL.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fade in:
INT: Malibu - Day
A Sunday morning. Adele Assistant is relaxing (sort of; she does have a script in her lap) on the sofa at her parents' beach house. Or she is realxing until Ballsy Boss calls.
Off Camera:
SFX: Phone rings.
Adele: Hello.
Ballsy: Adele, it's Ballsy. Boyfriend and i were going to have bagel brunch in bed, and I just was going to go out to pick up the cream cheese, and I couldn't remember - do I like Philadelphia Light or Philadelphia Free?
Adele: You like Light.
Ballsy: Are you sure, because the Light has fat, doesn't it?
Adele: I'm sure, because once you said that the Free had a contrary consistency.
Ballsy: Oh, yeah. (Pause) You're out here, right?
Adele: You just called me here.
Ballsy: I know. So, umm, will you go pick some up and bring it over to us? And, oh, get some bagels, too - sesame, poppy, and cinnamon raisin.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's what Abe Assistant endured when his boss, Bitchola, was detained in the Big Apple and apparently had no clean undies remaining. Suffice it to say that her snazzy hotel had a laundry service. Suffice it to say that she was blocks away from Bloomie's, Bergdorf's, Bendel's and Barneys. But Bitchola would not think of buying her own bloomers.
Instead, from a taxi, she called Abe Assistant across the country, demanding that he phone La Perla lingerie store on Madison and arrange for new, fresh undies to be messengered to the Regency immediately. Then she abruptly "had to jump", leaving Abe to agonize over the size of his boss's ass. He didn't want to offend her by getting underwear too big, but if it was too tight and she was uncomfortable, he would definitely live to regret it. He consulted Avery Assistant, who was Bitchola's Second Assistant. Avery refused to run the risk of involvement.
Abe was on his own. He called the store.
"Does she prefer thongs?"
Like he would know! He settled on one thong and two briefs the size of which was decided upon by the shop's expert manager, based on his description of Bitchola's petite but rounded buttocks.
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hehehehehehehe...