Inferno
Title: Inferno
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor
Summary: Jaejoong has woken up to discover that Yunho has fallen from grace - and right into his bed.
Jaejoong never woke up to the smell of burnt toast.
Despite years of privileged living, he always made his own breakfast. It didn’t really matter what it was - some days he felt picky and would make something complicated, some days he felt like dieting and ate oatmeal, and some days he didn’t care about anything and fried endless strips of bacon. Whatever breakfast was, it was never ever burnt.
So who the fuck was in his kitchen, and what the fuck was he or she doing?
He sat up immediately, and just as he was about to get out of bed, he spotted a familiar coat lying on the floor.
Holy shit.
It was pretty clear now that he had a pretty shitty brain, because how had he not thought of last night, and the fact he’d let his virtuous and incredibly drunk, best friend fuck him into his bed several times?
He was going to hell, and no, it wasn’t because he was gay, but because he’d just defiled Yunho and was not feeling bad about it at all. There was probably no greater sin than that, and the devil was probably preparing a special room for him already. He had taken advantage of saintly, kind, and perfect Yunho, who had probably never believed that Jaejoong’s dirty jokes in the locker room had always been meant.
Jaejoong sat in shock for a few more seconds before he flopped back onto his bed, rolled over, and buried his face into his pillow.
He was not feeling guilty at all. He was a terrible person - more so than he already knew and was proud of.
But shit, he had bigger things to deal with than the revelation that he had just gotten himself a first class ticket to the hottest place in town. No, he had to make sure that the thing that was burning in his kitchen wasn’t a suicidal Yunho.
Jaejoong quickly rolled out of bed, put on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt out of decency’s sake - even though he’d been innocently naked around Yunho for the good part of twenty years because really, who knew if the sight of his naked self would or would not send Yunho into a fatal seizure of regret, and sprinted out of his room.
The run took him less than two minutes, and in his haste, he practically slammed into the kitchen counter and knocked down the innocent bowl of fruit. It clattered down onto the ground, and Yunho turned around instantly at the sound.
They stared at each other, and instead of saying anything stupid, Jaejoong somehow was able to come out with a completely rational sentence.
“I think you might want to turn off the stove.”
“Uh - right, yeah, the stove.”
Jaejoong stared, and Yunho continued to stare back.
Forcing himself not to word vomit a thousand apologies, Jaejoong forced himself to speak properly. “Yunho, turn off the stove.”
“Shit, right.”
As soon as the stove was turned off, and the bacon was saved from further punishment, the awkward silence and uncomfortable staring contest continued. Yunho was dressed in one of his shirts and boxers, and Jaejoong hated how he could see a particularly dark bruise on the other man’s neck.
Jesus Christ, Yunho had been saving himself for marriage - for that special person who would give him twenty one children, and instead, he’d gotten…
He wasn’t a bad fuck, but Jaejoong definitely knew he was a much better fuck than he was a person.
“You’re still here.”
Yunho blinked, and Jaejoong hated how he could see Yunho’s expression turned a little less lost and a little angrier instead.
“Do you want me to go?”
“Shit - no.”
“Then?”
“Why…why are you ruining my kitchen and my stuff?” Jaejoong stammered out half-heartedly as he gestured to the burnt toast, and the bowl of egg substance that was beside it. “Aren’t you…aren’t you -“
“Aren’t I what?”
“Stop with all the questions!”
“What -“
“I said stop!”
Jaejoong let out a sigh and massaged his forehead. He shook his head, and when he looked up, he met Yunho’s gaze.
“How drunk were you last night?”
“I wasn’t drunk enough to not know what I was doing.”
“You’re lying.”
“Why do you think I’m lying?”
“Last night you told me that you’d fooled around with guys before on that exchange trip you had to France, and based off the way you kind of mauled me last night…”
Yunho looked and offended, and his eyebrows shot up.
“Are you saying that I sucked?”
“You were a bit of an overeager virgin about the whole thing, and come on Yunho, if you really weren’t that drunk, then you would’ve remembered that you kind of got acquainted with my teeth in a way that my dentist would disapprove of -“
“So you’re saying I sucked -“
“I didn’t say you were bad, I’m just saying you were overeager.” Jaejoong cut in, as he bent down to pick up the fruit bowl and the accompanying fruit that had rolled out. “It was just kind of like you were sixteen again and trying out something you’d seen in a porno at first, and -“
“Well, I am a virgin…or well, was?”
Jaejoong winced, and when he set back the fruit bowl onto the counter, he hesitantly met Yunho’s gaze.
“You’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would. I was expecting you for me to leave a note telling me to forget about this and to never speak to me again, or for you to tell me that we’re still the best of friends and that you’re happy I taught you all about carnal pleasures but you wouldn’t want a repeat lesson again…ever.”
“…in short, you were expecting me to go all Season 1 Blair Waldorf on you?”
“What?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, you made me marathon one whole season of Gossip Girl with you and several of your sisters.”
“You were paying attention?”
Yunho glared, “Whatever, we’re derailing from the main point of this branch of our conversation.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and shifted, “And what was that point again?”
“The fact you thought I was going to treat this thing like some kind of one night stand.”
“So it’s not…a one night stand?” Jaejoong clarified, since although he’d lived most of his life not caring about his feelings ninety percent of the time, he’d always cared about his feelings whenever things were related Yunho. It was an annoying fact, and he’d always figured it was punishment for the fact he’d probably caused a lot of people to turn to Tumblr in order to find some kind of emotional comfort after dealing with him.
He didn’t believe in any kind of deity or fate for that matter, but really, it was probably the cruelest punishment ever to be in love with your best friend and not have those feelings be returned.
“Because, if it’s not, then I need you to assure me of that fact like a thousand times or so, since I’ve spent the last couple of years thinking you were going to get married to a nice lady and have enough kids to form a football team.”
Yunho rolled his eyes, “You’re clearly delusional.”
“It’s always better to be delusional than heartbroken, just so you know.”
“Oh, so you have feelings then?”
Jaejoong scowled and held himself back from throwing an apple at Yunho’s irritating face. “Yes, I have feelings, and those feelings can turn to irritation pretty quickly. If you’re going to mock me about them, I’d rather you just leave.”
“You have feelings for me, right?”
“What the fuck?”
“Changmin told me like a month ago, before I left for Japan -“
“Jesus Christ, Changmin told you? You needed for that idiot to tell you before you knew? You never once picked up that I liked you after, I don’t know, I made countless attempts trying to get out of the friend zone? I flirted with you a ton of times Yunho - “
“You flirt with everyone.”
“Oh great, are you judging me right now -“
“Jaejoong, I like you too - maybe not as much as you like me, but it’s something to work with and something we need to talk about, so shut up.”
He fell quiet.
Yunho sighed loudly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Jaejoong could feel the other man’s eyes rake over his body, studying him, and just as he was about to voice his opinion on the matter, Yunho finally spoke.
“Look, I know…this is a hell of a start to a relationship, and it’s probably all kinds of fucked up, but this is our beginning. I’d like to cut through the part where you question whether or not we’re just fuck buddies or something more, because I would never want to treat you that way. Understand?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly.
“Changmin told me that you’ve liked me for a while now -“
“That fucker -“
“So, I’m going to treat you like I treat anyone else I date, and you’re not going to treat this like…whatever you used to do. We’re going to go out and do…stuff.”
“Stuff?” Jaejoong asked with an accompanying eyebrow raise.
“I am trying here, cut me some slack. I took one freaking month off just so I could figure out my feelings and shit, and that was -”
“Perhaps you would’ve figured things out faster by writing in a diary. I wouldn’t mind reading entries about how you suddenly realized that I shine bright like a diamond -“
“You are unbelievable -“
“And you are ridiculously blind, so I think we’ll make a wonderful pair.”
“Great.”
“Yes, it’s fucking great. You can go around claiming that you’ve somehow tamed the beast or whatever, and I can say that I’m going to be the first and last person to have sex with you. Can we go out for breakfast now? In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t eat Satan’s leftovers.”
Yunho raised an eyebrow. “First and last person, why, isn’t that a cocky assumption to make?”
Jaejoong flashed a smile and walked over to Yunho, placing his hands on the opposite sides of counter near Yunho’s body, effectively trapping him. “Once you’ve got me, why would you want anyone else?”
“I’m starting to regret my recent decisions. Is it too late to blame everything on the alcohol?”
The older man chuckled and leaned in to whisper into Yunho’s ear.
“It’s a bit too late for that now sweetheart.”
Familiar hands settled at his waist, and Jaejoong felt a thrill of excitement run up his spine. He pulled away to look at Yunho, and the other man was smiling at him.
“Do you want to skip breakfast? I can think of -“
Yunho pushed him away, and Jaejoong stumbled back due to the sudden force. He watched as Yunho walked away, and before he said anything, the other man stopped at the doorway to look back at him.
“I’m protecting what’s left of my virtue, let’s change, eat, and then do stuff after.”
Jaejoong scowled but walked over to Yunho anyway, and let the other lead him back to his bedroom like a petulant child.
As things turned out, despite what had occurred between them twenty four hours, Yunho was still somehow a saint after all.
…but perhaps in another twenty four, he could change that.
Author’s Note: …hi? Haha, long time no see. I hope you guys enjoyed the fic, which was kind of inspired by Blair & Chuck in season 1 of Gossip Girl, lol, but with a thousand times less drama. Thanks for reading! ♥
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor
Summary: Jaejoong has woken up to discover that Yunho has fallen from grace - and right into his bed.
Jaejoong never woke up to the smell of burnt toast.
Despite years of privileged living, he always made his own breakfast. It didn’t really matter what it was - some days he felt picky and would make something complicated, some days he felt like dieting and ate oatmeal, and some days he didn’t care about anything and fried endless strips of bacon. Whatever breakfast was, it was never ever burnt.
So who the fuck was in his kitchen, and what the fuck was he or she doing?
He sat up immediately, and just as he was about to get out of bed, he spotted a familiar coat lying on the floor.
Holy shit.
It was pretty clear now that he had a pretty shitty brain, because how had he not thought of last night, and the fact he’d let his virtuous and incredibly drunk, best friend fuck him into his bed several times?
He was going to hell, and no, it wasn’t because he was gay, but because he’d just defiled Yunho and was not feeling bad about it at all. There was probably no greater sin than that, and the devil was probably preparing a special room for him already. He had taken advantage of saintly, kind, and perfect Yunho, who had probably never believed that Jaejoong’s dirty jokes in the locker room had always been meant.
Jaejoong sat in shock for a few more seconds before he flopped back onto his bed, rolled over, and buried his face into his pillow.
He was not feeling guilty at all. He was a terrible person - more so than he already knew and was proud of.
But shit, he had bigger things to deal with than the revelation that he had just gotten himself a first class ticket to the hottest place in town. No, he had to make sure that the thing that was burning in his kitchen wasn’t a suicidal Yunho.
Jaejoong quickly rolled out of bed, put on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt out of decency’s sake - even though he’d been innocently naked around Yunho for the good part of twenty years because really, who knew if the sight of his naked self would or would not send Yunho into a fatal seizure of regret, and sprinted out of his room.
The run took him less than two minutes, and in his haste, he practically slammed into the kitchen counter and knocked down the innocent bowl of fruit. It clattered down onto the ground, and Yunho turned around instantly at the sound.
They stared at each other, and instead of saying anything stupid, Jaejoong somehow was able to come out with a completely rational sentence.
“I think you might want to turn off the stove.”
“Uh - right, yeah, the stove.”
Jaejoong stared, and Yunho continued to stare back.
Forcing himself not to word vomit a thousand apologies, Jaejoong forced himself to speak properly. “Yunho, turn off the stove.”
“Shit, right.”
As soon as the stove was turned off, and the bacon was saved from further punishment, the awkward silence and uncomfortable staring contest continued. Yunho was dressed in one of his shirts and boxers, and Jaejoong hated how he could see a particularly dark bruise on the other man’s neck.
Jesus Christ, Yunho had been saving himself for marriage - for that special person who would give him twenty one children, and instead, he’d gotten…
He wasn’t a bad fuck, but Jaejoong definitely knew he was a much better fuck than he was a person.
“You’re still here.”
Yunho blinked, and Jaejoong hated how he could see Yunho’s expression turned a little less lost and a little angrier instead.
“Do you want me to go?”
“Shit - no.”
“Then?”
“Why…why are you ruining my kitchen and my stuff?” Jaejoong stammered out half-heartedly as he gestured to the burnt toast, and the bowl of egg substance that was beside it. “Aren’t you…aren’t you -“
“Aren’t I what?”
“Stop with all the questions!”
“What -“
“I said stop!”
Jaejoong let out a sigh and massaged his forehead. He shook his head, and when he looked up, he met Yunho’s gaze.
“How drunk were you last night?”
“I wasn’t drunk enough to not know what I was doing.”
“You’re lying.”
“Why do you think I’m lying?”
“Last night you told me that you’d fooled around with guys before on that exchange trip you had to France, and based off the way you kind of mauled me last night…”
Yunho looked and offended, and his eyebrows shot up.
“Are you saying that I sucked?”
“You were a bit of an overeager virgin about the whole thing, and come on Yunho, if you really weren’t that drunk, then you would’ve remembered that you kind of got acquainted with my teeth in a way that my dentist would disapprove of -“
“So you’re saying I sucked -“
“I didn’t say you were bad, I’m just saying you were overeager.” Jaejoong cut in, as he bent down to pick up the fruit bowl and the accompanying fruit that had rolled out. “It was just kind of like you were sixteen again and trying out something you’d seen in a porno at first, and -“
“Well, I am a virgin…or well, was?”
Jaejoong winced, and when he set back the fruit bowl onto the counter, he hesitantly met Yunho’s gaze.
“You’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would. I was expecting you for me to leave a note telling me to forget about this and to never speak to me again, or for you to tell me that we’re still the best of friends and that you’re happy I taught you all about carnal pleasures but you wouldn’t want a repeat lesson again…ever.”
“…in short, you were expecting me to go all Season 1 Blair Waldorf on you?”
“What?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, you made me marathon one whole season of Gossip Girl with you and several of your sisters.”
“You were paying attention?”
Yunho glared, “Whatever, we’re derailing from the main point of this branch of our conversation.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and shifted, “And what was that point again?”
“The fact you thought I was going to treat this thing like some kind of one night stand.”
“So it’s not…a one night stand?” Jaejoong clarified, since although he’d lived most of his life not caring about his feelings ninety percent of the time, he’d always cared about his feelings whenever things were related Yunho. It was an annoying fact, and he’d always figured it was punishment for the fact he’d probably caused a lot of people to turn to Tumblr in order to find some kind of emotional comfort after dealing with him.
He didn’t believe in any kind of deity or fate for that matter, but really, it was probably the cruelest punishment ever to be in love with your best friend and not have those feelings be returned.
“Because, if it’s not, then I need you to assure me of that fact like a thousand times or so, since I’ve spent the last couple of years thinking you were going to get married to a nice lady and have enough kids to form a football team.”
Yunho rolled his eyes, “You’re clearly delusional.”
“It’s always better to be delusional than heartbroken, just so you know.”
“Oh, so you have feelings then?”
Jaejoong scowled and held himself back from throwing an apple at Yunho’s irritating face. “Yes, I have feelings, and those feelings can turn to irritation pretty quickly. If you’re going to mock me about them, I’d rather you just leave.”
“You have feelings for me, right?”
“What the fuck?”
“Changmin told me like a month ago, before I left for Japan -“
“Jesus Christ, Changmin told you? You needed for that idiot to tell you before you knew? You never once picked up that I liked you after, I don’t know, I made countless attempts trying to get out of the friend zone? I flirted with you a ton of times Yunho - “
“You flirt with everyone.”
“Oh great, are you judging me right now -“
“Jaejoong, I like you too - maybe not as much as you like me, but it’s something to work with and something we need to talk about, so shut up.”
He fell quiet.
Yunho sighed loudly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Jaejoong could feel the other man’s eyes rake over his body, studying him, and just as he was about to voice his opinion on the matter, Yunho finally spoke.
“Look, I know…this is a hell of a start to a relationship, and it’s probably all kinds of fucked up, but this is our beginning. I’d like to cut through the part where you question whether or not we’re just fuck buddies or something more, because I would never want to treat you that way. Understand?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly.
“Changmin told me that you’ve liked me for a while now -“
“That fucker -“
“So, I’m going to treat you like I treat anyone else I date, and you’re not going to treat this like…whatever you used to do. We’re going to go out and do…stuff.”
“Stuff?” Jaejoong asked with an accompanying eyebrow raise.
“I am trying here, cut me some slack. I took one freaking month off just so I could figure out my feelings and shit, and that was -”
“Perhaps you would’ve figured things out faster by writing in a diary. I wouldn’t mind reading entries about how you suddenly realized that I shine bright like a diamond -“
“You are unbelievable -“
“And you are ridiculously blind, so I think we’ll make a wonderful pair.”
“Great.”
“Yes, it’s fucking great. You can go around claiming that you’ve somehow tamed the beast or whatever, and I can say that I’m going to be the first and last person to have sex with you. Can we go out for breakfast now? In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t eat Satan’s leftovers.”
Yunho raised an eyebrow. “First and last person, why, isn’t that a cocky assumption to make?”
Jaejoong flashed a smile and walked over to Yunho, placing his hands on the opposite sides of counter near Yunho’s body, effectively trapping him. “Once you’ve got me, why would you want anyone else?”
“I’m starting to regret my recent decisions. Is it too late to blame everything on the alcohol?”
The older man chuckled and leaned in to whisper into Yunho’s ear.
“It’s a bit too late for that now sweetheart.”
Familiar hands settled at his waist, and Jaejoong felt a thrill of excitement run up his spine. He pulled away to look at Yunho, and the other man was smiling at him.
“Do you want to skip breakfast? I can think of -“
Yunho pushed him away, and Jaejoong stumbled back due to the sudden force. He watched as Yunho walked away, and before he said anything, the other man stopped at the doorway to look back at him.
“I’m protecting what’s left of my virtue, let’s change, eat, and then do stuff after.”
Jaejoong scowled but walked over to Yunho anyway, and let the other lead him back to his bedroom like a petulant child.
As things turned out, despite what had occurred between them twenty four hours, Yunho was still somehow a saint after all.
…but perhaps in another twenty four, he could change that.
Author’s Note: …hi? Haha, long time no see. I hope you guys enjoyed the fic, which was kind of inspired by Blair & Chuck in season 1 of Gossip Girl, lol, but with a thousand times less drama. Thanks for reading! ♥