In Time
Title: In Time
Beta: tvfxq
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fantasy
Summary: Life isn’t about the losses.
“Are you hungry?”
Jaejoong looked up from his book, and Minjung handed him back his passport before she sat down onto the chair next to his.
“No, not really.” He answered as he glanced over at the magazine his sister had spread out onto her lap. “I ate before we left the house.”
“Responsible kid,” Minjung commented as she began to flip through the magazine pages. She leaned back into her seat and glanced at him. “By the way, I’m kind of surprised you’re still coming back with us.”
Jaejoong furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“I mean, aren’t you popular now?” his older sister asked. “I’m not dumb Jaejoong, and I can practically hear your phone going crazy with messages every day. I didn’t think you’d want to go back to grandma’s.”
“Well…” Jaejoong shifted in his seat and leaned back into it. “I miss the way things are back home. I miss people.”
A sly grin came over his sister’s lips, and she instantly shut her magazine. She turned to him, her hair whipping against his cheeks lightly, and leaned forward.
“Who in particular?”
“What?”
Minjung’s grin widened. “Come on Jaejoong!” She swatted her brother’s arm and laughed. “I mean, you and Yuu have been friends for what…four years now? He’s pretty cute, and - “
“You’re disgusting, no.” Jaejoong huffed as he turned away from his sister and hoped to tune out her chatter. “I don’t like Yuu. He’s not my type.”
“Then who is your type?” Minjung questioned. “Come on, don’t be lame. I am also pretty sure that you’re interested someone -“
Jaejoong noticed his parents waving at them, and he quickly stood up. “We have to go board now. I’ll see you when the plane touches down, okay?” He smiled brightly at his sister and waved before quickly walking away, “Bye!”
Glad for the escape, Jaejoong fell into line and ignored his sister. Because his parents had booked the tickets late, he was sitting alone, and although he’d been irked by that earlier on, now, he couldn’t help but be glad for the mishap. He quickly found his seat, placed his bag into the overhead carriage then sat down, eagerly anticipating the plane’s takeoff and touchdown.
There was someone he couldn’t wait to see back home.
o-o-o
The sun was fading brilliantly into the horizon, its last attempt at light producing brilliant splotches of color on the dark blue canvas of the sky. From the moment the plane had touched down and he’d taken his first step out of the airport to onwards, everything felt like home to him. Jaejoong took in a deep breath, trying to ease his feelings into something more easily manageable.
No, it didn’t just feel like home, this was home.
“I have so many feelings,” Jaejoong said tiredly as he shifted the way he was lying down upon the stone path. He stared up at the sky and toyed with the petals of the chrysanthemum flower in his hand. “But one understands…”
“Don’t speak like that, you sound like one of those characters in lame teenager movies.”
Jaejoong tilted his head and glanced at the person sitting cross-legged on the grass beside him. “Well, I am a teenager.” He answered dully before he turned his eyes back up to the sky. “Aren’t I allowed to talk like one?”
When his companion failed to respond, Jaejoong continued to speak.
“Besides, you’ve never watched one of those movies, have you?” he questioned innocently as he turned to look at the other. His fingers ran along the blades of grass as he waited for a response, idly twirling whatever pieces he came upon.
“No, I haven’t,” Yunho replied as he shifted. He placed both of his palms upon the grass and leaned back, his eyes turned to the sky. “But you speak about them more than enough - I feel like I’ve watched all of them.”
“Maybe you should go watch one on your own,” Jaejoong murmured softly as he kept his eyes to the ground. “Or maybe, you could go with me and watch one.”
“Jaejoong…”
The teenager lifted his eyes up, and he stared at Yunho. The other was finally looking at him, a restrained expression on his face. “It was just a suggestion,” Jaejoong said finally with a sigh as he pulled at pieces of grass. “You don’t have to act so serious all the time.”
He let out another heavy sigh and tossed the shards of grass up into the sky. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” he asked. “It’s been how many months since we last saw each other.”
“Of course I’m happy to see you.”
“…that’s it?”
Silence fell between them, and Jaejoong refused to look at Yunho. He continued to idly toy with the grass, completely unwilling to go back home, but at the same time, completely refusing to speak to Yunho until he said something first.
“How was school…?”
“It was the same,” Jaejoong said with a shrug. “I had fun -“
“That’s nice.”
The teenager rolled his eyes.
“You’re starting to sound like grandma, except you don’t sound nearly as interested as she does.” He turned his head to the side and stared at the other, “Speaking of grandma, she still helps you out, right?”
“Yeah, she visits…not as much as before though.”
Jaejoong bit his lip, “I know…she’s sick.”
“She is.”
“Are you…”
“Yeah, I’m trying my best to see what I can do for her.”
“Thanks,” Jaejoong whispered, his voice softening.
The night was silent aside from the sound of crickets in the distance, and he sat up slowly - his movements disturbing the quiet. He inched closer to Yunho, bringing his body only a few centimeters from the other’s. He looked at Yunho’s face, the other watching him carefully while did so.
Jaejoong raised his hand to touch him but stopped halfway.
“There’s this girl who was in my class -“
“Jaejoong -“
“I think -“
Before another word could be spoken, a loud voice called out. Jaejoong jerked back from Yunho immediately, and when he whipped his head back, he could see the faint figure of his sister standing at the foot of the temple’s stone steps.
“What?” Jaejoong yelled as he turned so that he could look at her properly.
“Get down here!” his sister cried, “It’s time for dinner! What are you doing out there by yourself anyway? It’s late!”
“Yeah, I’m coming!” Jaejoong grumbled as he got up to his feet. He brushed the grass off his jeans, and he let out a sigh when a slight breeze blew against his cheeks, his eyes moving to where Yunho had been seated.
Like the breeze, he was gone.
o-o-o
“Should I even bother asking where you were again?” Jaejoong’s grandmother asked with a small smile as she watched Jaejoong bring in the groceries.
Jaejoong set down the plastic bags on the counter and walked over to the dinner table.
“I went to the grocery -“
“I don’t think buying groceries would take four hours Jaejoong.” The elderly woman commented lightly as she turned her eyes back to her book. She flipped the page and continued, “How is he?”
“…he’s okay.” Jaejoong murmured, quickly giving into telling the truth, before he took the seat across his grandmother’s. She said nothing to him, so he slowly stretched himself out onto the table and observed her. The silence continued, but Jaejoong had a feeling his grandmother had something she wanted to tell him.
“Do you want me to tell him anything?”
“No, not really.”
“Alright then…” The teenager let out a lengthy sigh, once again drawing the attention of his grandmother. She raised an eyebrow, and he smiled back weakly at her. “When you were younger, did you spend a lot of time with Yunho?”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly.”
The much older woman laughed and shook her head. “Not as much as you do sweetheart,” she replied lovingly as she turned the page of her book. “He was always your father’s friend more so than mine.”
“But…”
“In times of difficulty, Yunho was a good friend to me,” Jaejoong’s grandmother continued. “I turned to him when your grandfather went off for his military duty, and I turned to him again when your grandfather died. There’s a certain kind of calm to know how much he has lived through, and how he seems to just know the right things to say.”
“Did grandfather ever talk about him?” Jaejoong asked. “I mean, well…aside from the usual I suppose. Did he spend a lot of time with him too?”
“Jaejoong…”
The teenager shrugged and turned his eyes to his hands. “I mean…I like Yunho, I do. I like him a lot. It’s just weird, I suppose.”
“What is?”
“…is it weird that I prefer to spend more time with him than real people?” Jaejoong said eventually. He sighed once more and pressed his forehead against the cool surface of the plastic table. “I…I like being around him.”
“Honey…”
Jaejoong stood up quickly and smiled at his grandma. He knew she was worried about him, but he didn’t want to stick around and worry her further. “I have to go see my friends. I’ll be back later, so there’s no need for you guys to wait up for me. I’ll have dinner out.”
“Sweetheart, I wasn’t judging you.” His grandma spoke, her words reaching him before he could bolt out the door.
“…I know.”
“If you like being around Yunho, it’s okay.” The older woman continued, and Jaejoong could feel her eyes focused upon him. “But remember, sweetheart…you can’t be around him forever. You have to come back to the people who are really with you.”
Rather than saying anything, Jaejoong merely walked out the door and ignored the nagging feeling in his chest that refused to subside.
o-o-o
Jaejoong let out a heavy sigh and frowned at Yunho. The other was sitting in front of the shrine, on one of the stone steps, his eyes turned to some object that seemed beyond Jaejoong.
“I was thinking,” Jaejoong said finally as he stood up from where he was and began to make his way over to Yunho. He sat down beside Yunho on the steps and set his chin down onto his palm. “How old was I?”
“How old were you when…?”
“How old was I when I first saw you?”
Yunho chuckled, “I don’t know, but the first time you spoke to me, you were six. I wasn’t so sure if you could see me - after all, it’s not like everyone in your family knows of me.”
“Only grandma,” Jaejoong replied softly. “And well, grandfather too…back when he was alive.”
“But when they first brought you here,” Yunho began, his eyes once again turning away from Jaejoong. “I had a feeling you’d be able to see me. I was standing - right here, and even though you were just a baby, I had a feeling that you could see me.”
“Really?”
Yunho nodded, and he turned his head to smile at Jaejoong. “You’d been crying, you see, and as soon as they brought you up here, you just stopped crying. Your parents were stunned, and your grandparents said it was because of me.”
“Was it because of you?”
The other laughed and shrugged. “I have no idea, I didn’t do anything.” Yunho’s smile grew a little wider, and Jaejoong blushed and looked away. “But Jaejoong, you should know that you were so cute when you were younger.”
“Are you saying I’m not cute now?”
Yunho laughed. “Well, it’s not cute to be so vain.” He smiled fondly at Jaejoong, “I heard one of your sisters complaining about the fact you take so long in the bathroom.”
“I have to look perfect for you.”
The other shook his head in amusement. “You know I don’t care about things like that.”
“So what do you care about?” Jaejoong asked, a his cheeks darkening in color. He looked away from Yunho and flipped the pages of his manga idly, “I mean, you know the things that I like, but you -“
“I care about you -“ Jaejoong’s breath hitched, “And the rest of your family.”
The young teenager scowled. “That’s so lame.”
“There’s not much for me left to care about.”
Jaejoong stared at Yunho, his expression softening as he watched Yunho look toward the rising sun. Although Yunho usually kept a blank expression at all times, he could see the sadness creep over the other’s face. A resigned smile graced his face, and Yunho kept his eyes away.
“…do you remember, what it was like?” Jaejoong asked softly, “I mean, like years ago, when -“
“People have gone, and the world has changed. There’s no point staying in the past.” Yunho offered as the longing filled look subsided back into an expression of calm. “And you shouldn’t either,” he added. He met Jaejoong’s eyes, “Don’t you want to go out today? It’s beautiful out -“
“I’m okay with staying here.” Jaejoong replied. He moved closer to Yunho, “I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“If you say so,” Yunho answered doubtfully. A few minutes passed, and he stood up, catching Jaejoong’s attention. “I have to go somewhere for a while. Will you be okay here on your own?”
“Don’t worry about me,” Jaejoong whispered as he picked up his manga and flipped back to the last page he remembered. “I’m not going anywhere.”
o-o-o
If his friends knew, they’d all think he was crazy.
It wasn’t normal for someone to just fall in love with someone who could disappear in a blink of an eye. It wasn’t normal for him to be in love with someone who was possibly hundreds of years older than him. Lastly, it wasn’t normal for him to be in love with a god.
People were meant to love gods, but not in the way he loved Yunho.
He let out a sigh and glanced at the wall clock. It had only been two hours since he’d left home, but it felt much longer than that. Jaejoong held his carton of strawberry milk in one hand and drummed his fingers on the table surface with the other. He was a little tired of playing video games and watching movies, but he figured that it was all better than nothing.
But, a single thought continued to plague him as the seconds ticked by.
What was Yunho doing?
“You look bored,” Yuu commented as he sat down on the seat beside Jaejoong’s. He placed his can of Coke down onto the table and glanced at Jaejoong’s unopened carton of strawberry milk. “What are you doing drinking that?”
“…I felt like I wanted it went I saw it.”
The other teenager laughed, “How childish of you.” He picked up the carton of strawberry milk and glanced at Jaejoong, “By the way, I have a real reason for coming over here.”
“And what’s that?” Jaejoong asked as he sipped from Yuu’s Coke can. “Are you here to ask me if I can buy you more hair gel from Seoul -“
“No,” Yuu shot back as he rolled his eyes. “More like, I’m here to ask you if there’s somewhere else you want to be.” He set the carton of milk down and nudged Jaejoong with his elbow. “You’ve been sighing and looking out the window for the past five minutes.”
“I’m tired.”
“Yeah right.”
Jaejoong shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He’d never been comfortable with the idea of talking about his feelings, and it made him even more uncomfortable to even think of discussing Yunho with other people.
No one would be able to understand him.
“It’s nothing -“
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“What? No -“
Yuu took one glance at Jaejoong’s flushed face and smirked victoriously. He laughed loudly and raised his voice so that everyone in their group could hear. “Hey guys! I think Jaejoong has a boyfriend!”
For the rest of the afternoon, Jaejoong suffered an intense interrogation about non-existent love life.
o-o-o
“My friends think I have a boyfriend.” Jaejoong said despondently as he sat down in front of Yunho’s shrine. His lips formed a pout, and his fingers raked through the soft blades of grass.
Yunho appeared only a few meters away, and he tilted his head in confusion. “Is there something wrong with that?” He drew his knees close to his chest and smiled at Jaejoong kindly. “I thought all teenagers want to have boyfriends.”
“But I don’t really have one,” Jaejoong muttered, completely irritated with Yunho’s clueless behavior. “Besides, the closest thing I’d have to a boyfriend would be…”
“Would be…?”
The young teenager let out a frustrated groan and shook his head. He buried his face into his knees and drew them closer, “I hate you Yunho, you’re so difficult.” After a few more seconds of sulking, Jaejoong gave up and tossed the plastic bag beside him towards Yunho.
Yunho caught the plastic bag and glanced at Jaejoong. “What’s this?”
“Oranges.” Jaejoong said with a sigh. “I know you like them.”
“…thank you.”
“Now please bless me with good luck, excessive wealth, intelligence, excellent health, and…”
Yunho chuckled, “And what else do you want?” He smiled at Jaejoong and handed an orange piece to him. “I’m not Santa Claus. I can’t give you all that.”
Feeling overwhelmed with his frustrations, Jaejoong stood up immediately. “I know you’re not Santa Claus.” He spoke sharply, shocking the other with his tone, “Because you never give me what I want.”
Before Yunho could speak another word, Jaejoong turned on his heel and fled the shrine.
o-o-o
“You’ve been avoiding everyone.”
Jaejoong turned around, and he was unsurprised to see Yuu looking back at him with an amused look on his face. The younger teenager rolled his eyes and proceeded to continue walking.
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because what?” Yuu insisted as he walked beside Jaejoong. He cast a glance at the other and kept his eyes on him. “If you’re upset about the whole boyfriend teasing, I can just ask people to stop. But hey -“
“It’s just…”
“Just what?”
They walked in silence for a few seconds, and Jaejoong shifted uncomfortably. He could tell that Yuu was thinking of something to say, and he honestly didn’t know what to say either.
“Well, if you don’t have a boyfriend, then why don’t you go out with -“
“…I have someone I’m interested in.” Jaejoong replied with a sigh as they turned the corner to his street. “It’s just awkward, okay? I mean…I don’t like talking about how I like someone. I just…I like him, and that’s nothing other people need to think or worry about. I’ll handle it on my own.”
Another silence fell between them, and Jaejoong glanced at Yuu, wondering why he’d remained quiet. Before he could say anything, the older teenager spoke first.
“You’re so shy, it’s funny.”
“Shut up.”
o-o-o
“You don’t mind me staying around here all the time, do you?”
“Do I really have a choice about that?”
Jaejoong scowled, and Yunho laughed. The other shifted, and he glanced up at the sky before he turned his attention back to Jaejoong.
“You should go inside.”
The teenager raised an eyebrow, “What? Why?”
“It’s going to rain soon.” Yunho said as he stood up from the grass and sat somewhere under the small shrine’s roof. He gestured at Jaejoong to get going. “I don’t want you to stay out here. You’ll get sick.”
“No I won’t,” Jaejoong replied insistently as he stood up to move beside Yunho. He sat down directly beside the other before he turned his eyes up to the sky. He hadn’t noticed the grey clouds that had suddenly made their way across the sky, and just as he was about to comment on them, a light shower began.
“What did I tell you?”
Jaejoong glanced at Yunho, who was smiling up at the dark sky, “I never doubted you in the first place.” He leaned back against a post and crossed his arms, “You’re a god, so I suppose you know these things.”
“I like the rain,” Yunho said lightly, a childlike and serene expression on his handsome, ageless face. “I don’t know why, I just do…the way it falls from the sky, and the way it can be both destructive and peaceful…”
“I suppose it’s okay.” Jaejoong said with a shrug as he kept his eyes on Yunho’s face. “I don’t really like it or hate it I guess. It’s just…it’s just rain.”
Yunho kept his eyes on the sky, and Jaejoong said nothing as he watched Yunho’s facial expression turn contemplative. He was more than content to just be beside Yunho - his heart thundering in his chest, and his hand itching to reach for the other’s. The distance was painful - not only because Jaejoong knew it was unrequited, but because he knew that he was powerless to do anything about their situation.
Yunho would be alive forever - never aging unlike the rest and forever gazing at the changes of the world, while he would someday fade in Yunho’s timeless memory.
It was a painful thought, and one he only pondered over in his darkest or most contemplative periods.
“Although I’ve lived for so many years,” Yunho spoke, pulling Jaejoong out of his stormy thoughts, “I just cannot fall out of love with the rain.” He turned his eyes away from the sky and looked at Jaejoong, his dark brown eyes staring directly and deeply into the teenager’s.
“No matter the number of the days that pass, or the years that fly by,” the god took a deep breath and smiled, “Some passions withstand the test of time, don’t you think?”
Jaejoong fell silent, and for the rest of the afternoon - as he sat beside Yunho and failed to come up with some kind of answer or reply, his feelings were a tumultuous storm that raged within him.
o-o-o
“You shouldn’t be staying home all the time,” Minjung commented as she handed her shopping bags over to Jaejoong. “We don’t get to stay here that long, but ever since you turned fourteen, you don’t stop staying at the shrine all the time.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and grabbed the bags anyway. “I like it at home, and besides, I’ve been going out lately -”
“If you don’t want to come back to Japan, you don’t have to.” Minjung continued as she pulled her brother into the supermarket. She motioned for him to dump her bags into the cart then proceeded to continue her lecture. “I mean, mom made it more than clear that it was okay for you to stay back -“
“The shrine needs to be taken care of -“
“No Jaejoong, your sanity is what needs to be taken care of.” Minjung shot back as she grabbed a carton of milk. She turned around and faced her brother, gesturing to him with the carton as she spoke, “Who stays around in the shrine more than four hours a day? Are you trying to enter monkhood or something?”
“You’re overreacting -“
“You’re a teenage boy. You should be out chasing girls…or in your case, guys, or maybe even getting drunk somewhere. You should be out living your life, not sticking around in some place for old people. The past is the past, it’s nice to pray and all, but you don’t need to pray all day. What’s the point of having a life if you’re not going to live it?”
“Minjung -“
“No, Jaejoong, just no, and I mean it.” Minjung said sharply. She narrowed her eyes at her brother and pointed the carton of milk at him in a menacing manner. “I refuse to let you hang out at the shrine all day. If I catch you there -“
Before Minjung could finish her sentence, her phone rang. She shot a look at Jaejoong, signaling the conversation was far from over, before she picked up her phone and answered. Jaejoong let out a sigh, but before he could walk away from his sister, she reached out and grabbed his arm with a look of fear on her face.
“Grandma’s in the hospital.”
o-o-o
She was sickly and frail against the pale white of the hospital bed, and Jaejoong had to fight back tears as he slowly walked up to her bedside. He could hear the beeping of the monitor beside her, and the rolling of a cart being pushed along the corridor, and it all made him feel sick to his stomach.
Before he took his place beside her, he walked back to shut the door. Jaejoong then placed the bouquet of flowers on the nightstand, sat down, and reached out to grasp his grandma’s hand. He stroked her hand gently, his skin young and smooth against her wrinkled, bony hand, and he took a deep shuddery breath when she finally opened her eyes.
“Jaejoong…”
“Hi grandma, how are you feeling…?” Jaejoong whispered softly as he leaned forward to smoothen back the old woman’s grey hairs. He smiled at her gently, “They said I could stay here the night.”
“Oh baby, you don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Jaejoong replied. “I wouldn’t want to leave you alone…”
The elderly woman took a deep breath, and Jaejoong watched as she shut her eyes. It seemed difficult for her to speak, so just as he was about to tell her that she wasn’t obliged to reply to him, she spoke.
“Did you see Yunho today?” she asked kindly as she squeezed his hand tightly. She opened her eyes and looked into her grandchild’s. “Now that I’m lying here, I feel all the more regret that I didn’t try to visit him…”
“He doesn’t mind grandma, I’m sure of that. He’s not the kind of person to hold a grudge.” Jaejoong murmured as he stared down at his grandmother’s hand. He licked his lips then continued. “I saw him before I came here…”
He could feel his grandmother’s eyes upon him, but Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to look back at her.
“What did he say?”
“He told me to tell you that…that…he told me to tell you that grandpa, no, Takeshi loved you very much.” Jaejoong bit his lip, and he had to hold himself back from crying in front of his grandmother. “His last prayer to Yunho was that you would never feel alone without him, and so…Yunho says he hopes he’s fulfilled his dear friend’s request.”
Jaejoong quickly wiped his eyes with his free hand, and when he looked at his grandmother, he saw that she was smiling at him. He blinked at her through his teary eyes, wondering how she would react.
“You really love him, don’t you?” his grandmother asked, her voice soft.
“I…I do…”
“Oh sweetheart…”
Jaejoong immediately sought her embrace, and she hugged him tightly. Although she was weak and frail, her spirit was strong and filled with life. She kissed her beloved grandson’s hair and embraced him as if it were her last chance to do so.
“Although our love ones move on in life - and perhaps, in a way, leave us behind,” she whispered as Jaejoong cried his frustrations out onto her shoulder, “We keep them alive in our hearts as we continue on our own paths as well.”
She kissed his forehead, and when Jaejoong slowly began to calm down, she whispered into his ear.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” she murmured. “Love is not so easily forgotten.”
o-o-o
It was an inevitable thing, and when his mother told him the news, Jaejoong simply nodded in response. His grandmother was bed-ridden, and it was not expected for her to make a recovery. With how things were turning out, certain arrangements had to be made in regards to her possessions.
And with none of his aunts or uncles having the desire to keep their childhood home, there was nothing he could do about the fact that the property, including the shrine, would be sold.
But although he could understand his relatives’ decision, that didn’t mean he had to agree with it.
Jaejoong slowly made his way into his grandmother’s storage room on orders from his mother to clean up everything and place whatever was lying around into boxes. He entered the storage room, after struggling with the door for a few minutes, and found the room to be much neater than expected.
He smiled at all the boxes - some of them were labeled with years, while some of them were labeled with names of his cousins, siblings, aunts, and uncles. Jaejoong approached the box closest to him - Minjung’s, and kneeled down to open it because it wasn’t taped shut.
There was a slight film of dust over the faded pink notebook at the top of the pile of stuff, but despite that, Jaejoong plucked it out anyway. He wiped at the dust, making sure to keep the notebook away while doing so, and then slowly opened the notebook to reveal its yellowing pages. He flipped through it, skimming over the entries, but when he reached the end, he stopped at the sight of a particular name.
Dear diary,
Mommy and daddy tell me we’re not coming back here for awhile. They say we have to go live in Korea again, so I’m sad. I’ll miss my friends. I don’t want to leave, but mommy says we have to because daddy has to.
I don’t want to go. I told Yunnie about it, and he told me not to worry about him. He said that grandma would take care of him while I’m away and that the shrine is a nice place for him to live in all the time. I don’t want to leave Yunnie. He’ll be lonely without me. I’m his only best friend. : (
Jaejoong stared at the entry, his eyes widened in shock. He’d never known that Minjung had known about Yunho. He’d heard of his sister having an imaginary friend when she was younger from his parents and several family members - but as Jaejoong tried to think about it, was that imaginary friend actually Yunho?
The age difference between them was rather large - six years, so they’d never really been each other’s confidants until he’d finally turned older and more mature.
When Minjung had written her last entry, Jaejoong decided that it he’d been eight, because that was his age when they’d left Japan to live in Korea on account of his father’s job transfer. It’d taken them three years before they finally returned to Japan - due to his grandfather’s passing, and he was eleven, and Minjung seventeen, by the time.
The day they returned was also the day he first met Yunho.
His sister had long out grown staying at home by that age, and so he’d been left on his own, eventually wandering to the shrine one day in search of adventure - and on that day, he’d met Yunho. His grandmother found out about him being able to see Yunho not long after because he’d initially thought Yunho was a ghost and he’d come to her with the belief that Yunho was haunting them.
After hearing his story, his grandmother quickly eased away his fears and told him that the ability to see Yunho was a gift, one she’d never been given, but one his grandfather had possessed when he was alive. She told him to keep it a secret between the two of them, and so Jaejoong had followed.
But what of Minjung? What had happened to her and Yunho?
Deciding that he could leave the task for some other time, Jaejoong quickly placed the notebook back into the box and left the room, determined to find his sister and to hear of the story she’d unknowingly hid from him.
o-o-o
He slid the door open, and Minjung raised an eyebrow at him.
“What do you want from me?” she asked as she turned around to grab her phone off her desk. “If you want me to bring you somewhere, the answer is no -“
“Why don’t you visit Yunho anymore?”
Minjung held her phone in her hand then faced him, a look of confusion on her face. She furrowed her brows and sat up, “Who’s Yunho?”
Jaejoong stared at his sister for a few seconds, waited for her to say something further, but when she didn’t, he spoke up.
“He’s the god who lives at our shrine - your playmate, back when you were younger.”
“Jaejoong, I think you’re going crazy.” Minjung said slowly as she studied her brother carefully. “I don’t know anyone named Yunho, okay? I swear, you should stop spending so much time at that creepy place -“
“Why don’t you remember him?” Jaejoong questioned, his voice tight with emotion. He stared at his sister with a mix of confusion and frustration, “He was your -“
“Are you talking about Yunnie?”
“Yes -“
“Geez Jaejoong,” his older sister huffed. “He was just an imaginary friend. Someone I made up because no one was around to play with me.” She turned her eyes to her phone at the sound of an incoming message, but she paused as soon as a thought came to mind.
“…is that what you’re doing now - the reason for why you’re always at the shrine by yourself? Do you need someone to pay attention -“
Before Minjung could finish her sentence, Jaejoong turned and fled the room, his feet taking him to the only person he knew the answers to all his questions.
o-o-o
He was breathless as he reached the hill’s summit, but that didn’t stop him from continuing with what he needed to do. Jaejoong turned around sharply, trying to find Yunho, but his eyes failed him. Just as he was about to let out a yell of frustration, a clear voice resounded and cut straight to his ears.
“What’s wrong?”
Jaejoong turned, and he saw Yunho standing only a few meters away. He raced up to Yunho and stopped when the other was within his reach.
“Minjung…you know Minjung.” He began, his thoughts coming together far too slowly for his liking. Jaejoong shook his head before Yunho spoke and forced the words to come out of his mouth. “She wrote about you, I know it’s you. Don’t please…don’t confuse me, all I want is the truth.”
He breathed in deeply and looked at Yunho questioningly.
“Why doesn’t she remember you anymore?”
Yunho stared into Jaejoong’s eyes, his eyes unreadable.
“Because she forgot,” he whispered. “She forgot me.” Yunho kept his eyes fixed upon Jaejoong’s, and as he opened his mouth to continue, Jaejoong felt his heart constrict tightly in his chest.
“Once…once a person forgets and stops believing, that’s it. There’s nothing in my power that can be done to regain what once was.” The god spoke slowly, his tone not revealing any of his emotions. “Time changes faith - it changes what people believe in, and what they choose to remember…and once something is lost to time, it is not something easily recovered.”
“Jaejoong…”
The teenager felt the tears roll down his cheeks, and Yunho’s expression instantly turned grim.
“And what happens…what happens if no one remembers you anymore? What will happen to you once the shrine is gone, when -“
“I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?” Jaejoong cried. He wiped at his eyes in frustration and took a step closer. “Why don’t you know what’s going to happen to you?”
“Jaejoong, what happens to you after you die?”
The teenager stilled, and Yunho smiled sadly at him.
“You don’t know, do you?”
“But, you’re a god, you’re not allowed to -“
“I don’t know it’ll be the end for me,” Yunho whispered as he took a step closer to Jaejoong. He reached out, his fingertips only millimeters from Jaejooong’s cheek, “But this is my fate Jaejoong, as an old god living in a modern world. Some things…some things just have to go.”
“You are so young Jaejoong,” Yunho said softly, his eyes finally betraying the emotions he felt inside and causing Jaejoong’s internal turmoil to worsen further. “You will forget me someday but do not worry, for that will make this easier for you to bear.”
The tears rolled down Jaejoong’s cheeks, and before he could hold himself back, he tried to reach for Yunho. His arms reached out, desperate to grasp against something solid, something that would assure him that Yunho was truly there, but all he got was air.
Jaejoong fell to the grass, and when he sat up, Yunho was gone.
o-o-o
His grandmother died five days later, on a beautiful sunny day with not a single cloud in sight. The funeral followed soon after, and along with that came the eventual day that they would return to Seoul. But before they would leave, Jaejoong’s friends insisted that they had to throw a farewell party for him.
Despite everything, his parents agreed, and so Jaejoong was then quickly dragged into sleeping over at Yuu’s house for the big event.
It was pretty much everything he thought it would be with the loud music, the illegally bought drunks, the uncomfortable goodbyes from some people he didn’t really know, and the countless awkward hugs. But after a couple of hours, and once it was almost four in the morning, things eventually winded down.
Jaejoong carefully walked past the people who were sleeping on the floor and made his way to the balcony. As soon as he was outside, he was unsurprised to see Yuu sitting down on one of the chairs and nursing a beer.
“Did you have fun?” Yuu asked as he handed his beer over to Jaejoong.
The younger teenager wrinkled his nose and shook his head before he sat down on the chair closest to Yuu’s. “Yeah, I suppose I did.” He answered slowly, his eyes focused on the bright moon on the horizon.
“You don’t sound like you enjoyed yourself…”
Jaejoong turned his head and smiled at Yuu, “Just because I’m not drunk, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself, alright?” He turned his eyes back to the moon and breathed in deeply. “It’s just…the past couple of days have been…”
“I can understand.”
“It’s a kind of numbing feeling,” Jaejoong whispered. “To lose so many things in one go, I just…it’s hard to pick yourself up again and tell yourself that it’s okay to go on without them.” He drew his knees close to his chest and took a deep breath. “The party, it’s a welcome distraction…but when the sun rises, I know what’s coming.”
Yuu took a sip of his beer then spoke. “Life isn’t about the losses Jaejoong - that’s too pessimistic of a view to keep.”
“Says the guy who just lost his girlfriend to some baseball player,” Jaejoong teased lightly.
“Well, just because I lost her to some douche, that doesn’t mean I’ll be girlfriend-less forever, you know?” The older teenager replied. “I mean, I’m not saying that you’ll get a new grandmother, but what I’m saying is…”
Jaejoong turned his eyes to his friend, and he waited for Yuu to finish the struggle to complete his sentence.
“Alright, what I’m saying is, that just because you feel a certain kind of emptiness now, that doesn’t mean you’ll always be lacking something.” Yuu spoke. “There’s lots out there -“ he gestured with his beer bottle, “Somewhere, there are things that’ll make you happy again.”
A genuine smile graced Jaejoong’s lips, and he chuckled. “You sound like a wise Chinese poet. Perhaps you should be drinking all the time.”
“Fuck you Jaejoong,” Yuu muttered. “I’ve always been a genius, you’re just too stupid to listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth sometimes.”
o-o-o
He didn’t have much time left.
Jaejoong slowly made his way up the steps to the shrine, and when he reached the top, he could feel his heart begin to quicken its pace. He tightened his grip on the bouquet of flowers in his hand, and as he neared the shrine, he felt his composure quickly begin to slip away from him.
“Are you here?” Jaejoong whispered, his hand close to crushing the bouquet. He kept his eyes focused on the shrine and swallowed hard. “Please, Yunho…”
“You’re leaving soon.”
Jaejoong shut his eyes, and he nodded slowly. He took in a deep, shuddery breath then opened his eyes. He turned to his right, and he saw Yunho standing only a few feet away from him.
“I…” The teenager shot Yunho a sad smile and forced himself to come out with the words that had lingered on the tip of his tongue for far too long. “Yunho, I love you, and...I’ll miss you.”
The tears began to roll down his cheeks before he continued his next sentence, but at that point, Jaejoong really didn’t care anymore, “And I don’t want to forget you, I promised myself that I wouldn’t…”
“Jaejoong…”
“My grandfather, he prayed to you one last time before he left…right?” Jaejoong asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He wiped at his eyes and swallowed hard, trying his best to keep going even though his young heart was breaking. “Well, I have a prayer too.”
“No, I don’t know anymore, okay?” the teenager muttered, “I don’t care what this is anymore, a prayer, a wish or just…” he raised his teary eyes off the ground and met Yunho’s gaze. “I just…I want to see you again - someday. I don’t care when, I don’t care how, I just…I want to see you again.”
His mother called him from the foot of the hill, and Jaejoong’s heart clenched tightly in his chest. He stared into Yunho’s eyes one last time, and smiled at him - a beautiful smile despite his tear streaked cheeks. The seconds passed by slowly, and Jaejoong’s mother soon called him again, shattering their tiny moment of peace.
“I have to go,” Jaejoong whispered.
“I know.”
Yunho slowly walked up to him, and when he stopped, they were only hair breadths apart. “When we first met, you were a lonely child with no one to play with.” He whispered, “…and now, you’re about to venture off into a new world on your own, without me.”
“I cannot plead for you to remember me, but Jaejoong…” Yunho smiled at him, and Jaejoong’s heart clenched at the sight of Yunho’s sad smile. “But Jaejoong, I can only ask one thing of you.”
“And what’s that?”
“Always remember that you are never truly alone.” The god reached out, and Jaejoong shut his eyes, desperately wishing he could feel Yunho’s fingertips brush against his skin.
Instead of the pressure of a human touch, the wind blew against him, wrapping around him with a gentle and almost familiar embrace, lasting only for a few seconds before gradually disappearing.
“Goodbye.”
“Jaejoong, praying to the gods isn’t going to make you batch valedictorian.”
“Fuck you,” Jaejoong snapped as he tied his wish onto a tree branch. “Yuu, just because you’re some wannabe actor slash model now, that doesn’t mean you get to go around being an asshole.”
Yuu laughed, “Need help with that wish of yours?” he asked as he crossed his arms across his chest. “It doesn’t seem like you’re tall enough -“
Jaejoong turned around and flipped his best friend off. “Just go away, would you? I’ll meet you at the top of the shrine. Just leave me alone -“
“Fine.”
“Fine!”
The two best friends stared at each other, and Yuu burst out into laughter first. He shook his head at Jaejoong and began to walk away. “You know, I kind of miss the way you were four years ago. You were a lot quieter then!”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and didn’t bother to reply. Just as he was about to re-tie his wish onto the branch, the wind blew and the piece of paper slipped through his fingers. He yelped and turned around, but before he could try to snatch the piece of paper out of the air, he knocked into someone else.
“Shit, I’m so -“
At the sight of the stranger’s face, Jaejoong was rendered completely still while the person he’d knocked into knelt down to pick up his fallen plastic bag. The stranger picked up an orange that had rolled out, making sure to pick up Jaejoong’s piece of paper as well.
Jaejoong quickly tried to compose himself, “I’m so sorry,” he said hastily as he picked up another stray orange. He handed it back to the other, his eyes trailing upwards and raking over the other’s face.
“It’s okay,” the stranger replied as he took the orange before he handed Jaejoong back his strip of paper. “It happens sometimes.”
“I -“
“Do you need help with your paper…?” The stranger asked, “I mean, you looked like you were having some difficulty, so that’s why I came over…”
Jaejoong took a step back and held the piece of paper back out, “I…yes, well, okay. Sure.” He blushed and took the man’s grocery bag out of his hands. “Thank you so much.”
“It’s no big deal,” the other man spoke as he tied the wish easily onto a high part of the branch. “I do this for my sister all the time.”
“You have a sister?” Jaejoong asked, the question coming out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
The man laughed and turned around. “Yeah, I do. I’m actually supposed to meet her at the summit.” The man flashed a brilliant smile at him, “What about you? Are you alone?”
“Oh, no - I’m not.”
“Are you meeting someone here then?”
“I…I think so,” Jaejoong whispered, words coming to his mind as he continued to stare into the familiar face in front of him.
“I just…I want to see you again - someday. I don’t care when, I don’t care how, I just…I want to see you again.”
“Excuse me?”
Jaejoong shook his head and smiled to himself, his heart pounding in his chest with a familiar feeling of joy. “I mean yes, there’s someone I have to meet.” He flashed a smile at the man in front of him, “I’m meeting him at the summit too.”
“We can go together then,” the other man said in a friendly manner.
“Sure,” Jaejoong replied as he fell into line beside the other man. He said nothing as they walked to the stairs that led to the summit, but as they began to make their way up, a gentle breeze blew against him once again.
He looked at the man beside him, only to catch him looking at him.
“I just realize, but I forgot to tell you, I’m Jaejoong by the way,” Jaejoong spoke, his heart pounding in his chest. “And you are…?”
The other man smiled and held out his hand.
“Yunho.”
Author’s Note: I had a ton of inspirations for this oneshot. From the anime series Kamichu, to the animated film Spirited Away, and to the novel American Gods by Neil Gaiman, I swear…I just had so much creative energy for this story. *__* I know that reincarnation isn’t a belief associated with shintoism, but hey…okay, I took artistic/creative liberties with that. :P Thank you so much for reading and belated happy birthday Moomin~ ♥
Beta: tvfxq
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fantasy
Summary: Life isn’t about the losses.
“Are you hungry?”
Jaejoong looked up from his book, and Minjung handed him back his passport before she sat down onto the chair next to his.
“No, not really.” He answered as he glanced over at the magazine his sister had spread out onto her lap. “I ate before we left the house.”
“Responsible kid,” Minjung commented as she began to flip through the magazine pages. She leaned back into her seat and glanced at him. “By the way, I’m kind of surprised you’re still coming back with us.”
Jaejoong furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“I mean, aren’t you popular now?” his older sister asked. “I’m not dumb Jaejoong, and I can practically hear your phone going crazy with messages every day. I didn’t think you’d want to go back to grandma’s.”
“Well…” Jaejoong shifted in his seat and leaned back into it. “I miss the way things are back home. I miss people.”
A sly grin came over his sister’s lips, and she instantly shut her magazine. She turned to him, her hair whipping against his cheeks lightly, and leaned forward.
“Who in particular?”
“What?”
Minjung’s grin widened. “Come on Jaejoong!” She swatted her brother’s arm and laughed. “I mean, you and Yuu have been friends for what…four years now? He’s pretty cute, and - “
“You’re disgusting, no.” Jaejoong huffed as he turned away from his sister and hoped to tune out her chatter. “I don’t like Yuu. He’s not my type.”
“Then who is your type?” Minjung questioned. “Come on, don’t be lame. I am also pretty sure that you’re interested someone -“
Jaejoong noticed his parents waving at them, and he quickly stood up. “We have to go board now. I’ll see you when the plane touches down, okay?” He smiled brightly at his sister and waved before quickly walking away, “Bye!”
Glad for the escape, Jaejoong fell into line and ignored his sister. Because his parents had booked the tickets late, he was sitting alone, and although he’d been irked by that earlier on, now, he couldn’t help but be glad for the mishap. He quickly found his seat, placed his bag into the overhead carriage then sat down, eagerly anticipating the plane’s takeoff and touchdown.
There was someone he couldn’t wait to see back home.
o-o-o
The sun was fading brilliantly into the horizon, its last attempt at light producing brilliant splotches of color on the dark blue canvas of the sky. From the moment the plane had touched down and he’d taken his first step out of the airport to onwards, everything felt like home to him. Jaejoong took in a deep breath, trying to ease his feelings into something more easily manageable.
No, it didn’t just feel like home, this was home.
“I have so many feelings,” Jaejoong said tiredly as he shifted the way he was lying down upon the stone path. He stared up at the sky and toyed with the petals of the chrysanthemum flower in his hand. “But one understands…”
“Don’t speak like that, you sound like one of those characters in lame teenager movies.”
Jaejoong tilted his head and glanced at the person sitting cross-legged on the grass beside him. “Well, I am a teenager.” He answered dully before he turned his eyes back up to the sky. “Aren’t I allowed to talk like one?”
When his companion failed to respond, Jaejoong continued to speak.
“Besides, you’ve never watched one of those movies, have you?” he questioned innocently as he turned to look at the other. His fingers ran along the blades of grass as he waited for a response, idly twirling whatever pieces he came upon.
“No, I haven’t,” Yunho replied as he shifted. He placed both of his palms upon the grass and leaned back, his eyes turned to the sky. “But you speak about them more than enough - I feel like I’ve watched all of them.”
“Maybe you should go watch one on your own,” Jaejoong murmured softly as he kept his eyes to the ground. “Or maybe, you could go with me and watch one.”
“Jaejoong…”
The teenager lifted his eyes up, and he stared at Yunho. The other was finally looking at him, a restrained expression on his face. “It was just a suggestion,” Jaejoong said finally with a sigh as he pulled at pieces of grass. “You don’t have to act so serious all the time.”
He let out another heavy sigh and tossed the shards of grass up into the sky. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” he asked. “It’s been how many months since we last saw each other.”
“Of course I’m happy to see you.”
“…that’s it?”
Silence fell between them, and Jaejoong refused to look at Yunho. He continued to idly toy with the grass, completely unwilling to go back home, but at the same time, completely refusing to speak to Yunho until he said something first.
“How was school…?”
“It was the same,” Jaejoong said with a shrug. “I had fun -“
“That’s nice.”
The teenager rolled his eyes.
“You’re starting to sound like grandma, except you don’t sound nearly as interested as she does.” He turned his head to the side and stared at the other, “Speaking of grandma, she still helps you out, right?”
“Yeah, she visits…not as much as before though.”
Jaejoong bit his lip, “I know…she’s sick.”
“She is.”
“Are you…”
“Yeah, I’m trying my best to see what I can do for her.”
“Thanks,” Jaejoong whispered, his voice softening.
The night was silent aside from the sound of crickets in the distance, and he sat up slowly - his movements disturbing the quiet. He inched closer to Yunho, bringing his body only a few centimeters from the other’s. He looked at Yunho’s face, the other watching him carefully while did so.
Jaejoong raised his hand to touch him but stopped halfway.
“There’s this girl who was in my class -“
“Jaejoong -“
“I think -“
Before another word could be spoken, a loud voice called out. Jaejoong jerked back from Yunho immediately, and when he whipped his head back, he could see the faint figure of his sister standing at the foot of the temple’s stone steps.
“What?” Jaejoong yelled as he turned so that he could look at her properly.
“Get down here!” his sister cried, “It’s time for dinner! What are you doing out there by yourself anyway? It’s late!”
“Yeah, I’m coming!” Jaejoong grumbled as he got up to his feet. He brushed the grass off his jeans, and he let out a sigh when a slight breeze blew against his cheeks, his eyes moving to where Yunho had been seated.
Like the breeze, he was gone.
o-o-o
“Should I even bother asking where you were again?” Jaejoong’s grandmother asked with a small smile as she watched Jaejoong bring in the groceries.
Jaejoong set down the plastic bags on the counter and walked over to the dinner table.
“I went to the grocery -“
“I don’t think buying groceries would take four hours Jaejoong.” The elderly woman commented lightly as she turned her eyes back to her book. She flipped the page and continued, “How is he?”
“…he’s okay.” Jaejoong murmured, quickly giving into telling the truth, before he took the seat across his grandmother’s. She said nothing to him, so he slowly stretched himself out onto the table and observed her. The silence continued, but Jaejoong had a feeling his grandmother had something she wanted to tell him.
“Do you want me to tell him anything?”
“No, not really.”
“Alright then…” The teenager let out a lengthy sigh, once again drawing the attention of his grandmother. She raised an eyebrow, and he smiled back weakly at her. “When you were younger, did you spend a lot of time with Yunho?”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly.”
The much older woman laughed and shook her head. “Not as much as you do sweetheart,” she replied lovingly as she turned the page of her book. “He was always your father’s friend more so than mine.”
“But…”
“In times of difficulty, Yunho was a good friend to me,” Jaejoong’s grandmother continued. “I turned to him when your grandfather went off for his military duty, and I turned to him again when your grandfather died. There’s a certain kind of calm to know how much he has lived through, and how he seems to just know the right things to say.”
“Did grandfather ever talk about him?” Jaejoong asked. “I mean, well…aside from the usual I suppose. Did he spend a lot of time with him too?”
“Jaejoong…”
The teenager shrugged and turned his eyes to his hands. “I mean…I like Yunho, I do. I like him a lot. It’s just weird, I suppose.”
“What is?”
“…is it weird that I prefer to spend more time with him than real people?” Jaejoong said eventually. He sighed once more and pressed his forehead against the cool surface of the plastic table. “I…I like being around him.”
“Honey…”
Jaejoong stood up quickly and smiled at his grandma. He knew she was worried about him, but he didn’t want to stick around and worry her further. “I have to go see my friends. I’ll be back later, so there’s no need for you guys to wait up for me. I’ll have dinner out.”
“Sweetheart, I wasn’t judging you.” His grandma spoke, her words reaching him before he could bolt out the door.
“…I know.”
“If you like being around Yunho, it’s okay.” The older woman continued, and Jaejoong could feel her eyes focused upon him. “But remember, sweetheart…you can’t be around him forever. You have to come back to the people who are really with you.”
Rather than saying anything, Jaejoong merely walked out the door and ignored the nagging feeling in his chest that refused to subside.
o-o-o
Jaejoong let out a heavy sigh and frowned at Yunho. The other was sitting in front of the shrine, on one of the stone steps, his eyes turned to some object that seemed beyond Jaejoong.
“I was thinking,” Jaejoong said finally as he stood up from where he was and began to make his way over to Yunho. He sat down beside Yunho on the steps and set his chin down onto his palm. “How old was I?”
“How old were you when…?”
“How old was I when I first saw you?”
Yunho chuckled, “I don’t know, but the first time you spoke to me, you were six. I wasn’t so sure if you could see me - after all, it’s not like everyone in your family knows of me.”
“Only grandma,” Jaejoong replied softly. “And well, grandfather too…back when he was alive.”
“But when they first brought you here,” Yunho began, his eyes once again turning away from Jaejoong. “I had a feeling you’d be able to see me. I was standing - right here, and even though you were just a baby, I had a feeling that you could see me.”
“Really?”
Yunho nodded, and he turned his head to smile at Jaejoong. “You’d been crying, you see, and as soon as they brought you up here, you just stopped crying. Your parents were stunned, and your grandparents said it was because of me.”
“Was it because of you?”
The other laughed and shrugged. “I have no idea, I didn’t do anything.” Yunho’s smile grew a little wider, and Jaejoong blushed and looked away. “But Jaejoong, you should know that you were so cute when you were younger.”
“Are you saying I’m not cute now?”
Yunho laughed. “Well, it’s not cute to be so vain.” He smiled fondly at Jaejoong, “I heard one of your sisters complaining about the fact you take so long in the bathroom.”
“I have to look perfect for you.”
The other shook his head in amusement. “You know I don’t care about things like that.”
“So what do you care about?” Jaejoong asked, a his cheeks darkening in color. He looked away from Yunho and flipped the pages of his manga idly, “I mean, you know the things that I like, but you -“
“I care about you -“ Jaejoong’s breath hitched, “And the rest of your family.”
The young teenager scowled. “That’s so lame.”
“There’s not much for me left to care about.”
Jaejoong stared at Yunho, his expression softening as he watched Yunho look toward the rising sun. Although Yunho usually kept a blank expression at all times, he could see the sadness creep over the other’s face. A resigned smile graced his face, and Yunho kept his eyes away.
“…do you remember, what it was like?” Jaejoong asked softly, “I mean, like years ago, when -“
“People have gone, and the world has changed. There’s no point staying in the past.” Yunho offered as the longing filled look subsided back into an expression of calm. “And you shouldn’t either,” he added. He met Jaejoong’s eyes, “Don’t you want to go out today? It’s beautiful out -“
“I’m okay with staying here.” Jaejoong replied. He moved closer to Yunho, “I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“If you say so,” Yunho answered doubtfully. A few minutes passed, and he stood up, catching Jaejoong’s attention. “I have to go somewhere for a while. Will you be okay here on your own?”
“Don’t worry about me,” Jaejoong whispered as he picked up his manga and flipped back to the last page he remembered. “I’m not going anywhere.”
o-o-o
If his friends knew, they’d all think he was crazy.
It wasn’t normal for someone to just fall in love with someone who could disappear in a blink of an eye. It wasn’t normal for him to be in love with someone who was possibly hundreds of years older than him. Lastly, it wasn’t normal for him to be in love with a god.
People were meant to love gods, but not in the way he loved Yunho.
He let out a sigh and glanced at the wall clock. It had only been two hours since he’d left home, but it felt much longer than that. Jaejoong held his carton of strawberry milk in one hand and drummed his fingers on the table surface with the other. He was a little tired of playing video games and watching movies, but he figured that it was all better than nothing.
But, a single thought continued to plague him as the seconds ticked by.
What was Yunho doing?
“You look bored,” Yuu commented as he sat down on the seat beside Jaejoong’s. He placed his can of Coke down onto the table and glanced at Jaejoong’s unopened carton of strawberry milk. “What are you doing drinking that?”
“…I felt like I wanted it went I saw it.”
The other teenager laughed, “How childish of you.” He picked up the carton of strawberry milk and glanced at Jaejoong, “By the way, I have a real reason for coming over here.”
“And what’s that?” Jaejoong asked as he sipped from Yuu’s Coke can. “Are you here to ask me if I can buy you more hair gel from Seoul -“
“No,” Yuu shot back as he rolled his eyes. “More like, I’m here to ask you if there’s somewhere else you want to be.” He set the carton of milk down and nudged Jaejoong with his elbow. “You’ve been sighing and looking out the window for the past five minutes.”
“I’m tired.”
“Yeah right.”
Jaejoong shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He’d never been comfortable with the idea of talking about his feelings, and it made him even more uncomfortable to even think of discussing Yunho with other people.
No one would be able to understand him.
“It’s nothing -“
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“What? No -“
Yuu took one glance at Jaejoong’s flushed face and smirked victoriously. He laughed loudly and raised his voice so that everyone in their group could hear. “Hey guys! I think Jaejoong has a boyfriend!”
For the rest of the afternoon, Jaejoong suffered an intense interrogation about non-existent love life.
o-o-o
“My friends think I have a boyfriend.” Jaejoong said despondently as he sat down in front of Yunho’s shrine. His lips formed a pout, and his fingers raked through the soft blades of grass.
Yunho appeared only a few meters away, and he tilted his head in confusion. “Is there something wrong with that?” He drew his knees close to his chest and smiled at Jaejoong kindly. “I thought all teenagers want to have boyfriends.”
“But I don’t really have one,” Jaejoong muttered, completely irritated with Yunho’s clueless behavior. “Besides, the closest thing I’d have to a boyfriend would be…”
“Would be…?”
The young teenager let out a frustrated groan and shook his head. He buried his face into his knees and drew them closer, “I hate you Yunho, you’re so difficult.” After a few more seconds of sulking, Jaejoong gave up and tossed the plastic bag beside him towards Yunho.
Yunho caught the plastic bag and glanced at Jaejoong. “What’s this?”
“Oranges.” Jaejoong said with a sigh. “I know you like them.”
“…thank you.”
“Now please bless me with good luck, excessive wealth, intelligence, excellent health, and…”
Yunho chuckled, “And what else do you want?” He smiled at Jaejoong and handed an orange piece to him. “I’m not Santa Claus. I can’t give you all that.”
Feeling overwhelmed with his frustrations, Jaejoong stood up immediately. “I know you’re not Santa Claus.” He spoke sharply, shocking the other with his tone, “Because you never give me what I want.”
Before Yunho could speak another word, Jaejoong turned on his heel and fled the shrine.
o-o-o
“You’ve been avoiding everyone.”
Jaejoong turned around, and he was unsurprised to see Yuu looking back at him with an amused look on his face. The younger teenager rolled his eyes and proceeded to continue walking.
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because what?” Yuu insisted as he walked beside Jaejoong. He cast a glance at the other and kept his eyes on him. “If you’re upset about the whole boyfriend teasing, I can just ask people to stop. But hey -“
“It’s just…”
“Just what?”
They walked in silence for a few seconds, and Jaejoong shifted uncomfortably. He could tell that Yuu was thinking of something to say, and he honestly didn’t know what to say either.
“Well, if you don’t have a boyfriend, then why don’t you go out with -“
“…I have someone I’m interested in.” Jaejoong replied with a sigh as they turned the corner to his street. “It’s just awkward, okay? I mean…I don’t like talking about how I like someone. I just…I like him, and that’s nothing other people need to think or worry about. I’ll handle it on my own.”
Another silence fell between them, and Jaejoong glanced at Yuu, wondering why he’d remained quiet. Before he could say anything, the older teenager spoke first.
“You’re so shy, it’s funny.”
“Shut up.”
o-o-o
“You don’t mind me staying around here all the time, do you?”
“Do I really have a choice about that?”
Jaejoong scowled, and Yunho laughed. The other shifted, and he glanced up at the sky before he turned his attention back to Jaejoong.
“You should go inside.”
The teenager raised an eyebrow, “What? Why?”
“It’s going to rain soon.” Yunho said as he stood up from the grass and sat somewhere under the small shrine’s roof. He gestured at Jaejoong to get going. “I don’t want you to stay out here. You’ll get sick.”
“No I won’t,” Jaejoong replied insistently as he stood up to move beside Yunho. He sat down directly beside the other before he turned his eyes up to the sky. He hadn’t noticed the grey clouds that had suddenly made their way across the sky, and just as he was about to comment on them, a light shower began.
“What did I tell you?”
Jaejoong glanced at Yunho, who was smiling up at the dark sky, “I never doubted you in the first place.” He leaned back against a post and crossed his arms, “You’re a god, so I suppose you know these things.”
“I like the rain,” Yunho said lightly, a childlike and serene expression on his handsome, ageless face. “I don’t know why, I just do…the way it falls from the sky, and the way it can be both destructive and peaceful…”
“I suppose it’s okay.” Jaejoong said with a shrug as he kept his eyes on Yunho’s face. “I don’t really like it or hate it I guess. It’s just…it’s just rain.”
Yunho kept his eyes on the sky, and Jaejoong said nothing as he watched Yunho’s facial expression turn contemplative. He was more than content to just be beside Yunho - his heart thundering in his chest, and his hand itching to reach for the other’s. The distance was painful - not only because Jaejoong knew it was unrequited, but because he knew that he was powerless to do anything about their situation.
Yunho would be alive forever - never aging unlike the rest and forever gazing at the changes of the world, while he would someday fade in Yunho’s timeless memory.
It was a painful thought, and one he only pondered over in his darkest or most contemplative periods.
“Although I’ve lived for so many years,” Yunho spoke, pulling Jaejoong out of his stormy thoughts, “I just cannot fall out of love with the rain.” He turned his eyes away from the sky and looked at Jaejoong, his dark brown eyes staring directly and deeply into the teenager’s.
“No matter the number of the days that pass, or the years that fly by,” the god took a deep breath and smiled, “Some passions withstand the test of time, don’t you think?”
Jaejoong fell silent, and for the rest of the afternoon - as he sat beside Yunho and failed to come up with some kind of answer or reply, his feelings were a tumultuous storm that raged within him.
o-o-o
“You shouldn’t be staying home all the time,” Minjung commented as she handed her shopping bags over to Jaejoong. “We don’t get to stay here that long, but ever since you turned fourteen, you don’t stop staying at the shrine all the time.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and grabbed the bags anyway. “I like it at home, and besides, I’ve been going out lately -”
“If you don’t want to come back to Japan, you don’t have to.” Minjung continued as she pulled her brother into the supermarket. She motioned for him to dump her bags into the cart then proceeded to continue her lecture. “I mean, mom made it more than clear that it was okay for you to stay back -“
“The shrine needs to be taken care of -“
“No Jaejoong, your sanity is what needs to be taken care of.” Minjung shot back as she grabbed a carton of milk. She turned around and faced her brother, gesturing to him with the carton as she spoke, “Who stays around in the shrine more than four hours a day? Are you trying to enter monkhood or something?”
“You’re overreacting -“
“You’re a teenage boy. You should be out chasing girls…or in your case, guys, or maybe even getting drunk somewhere. You should be out living your life, not sticking around in some place for old people. The past is the past, it’s nice to pray and all, but you don’t need to pray all day. What’s the point of having a life if you’re not going to live it?”
“Minjung -“
“No, Jaejoong, just no, and I mean it.” Minjung said sharply. She narrowed her eyes at her brother and pointed the carton of milk at him in a menacing manner. “I refuse to let you hang out at the shrine all day. If I catch you there -“
Before Minjung could finish her sentence, her phone rang. She shot a look at Jaejoong, signaling the conversation was far from over, before she picked up her phone and answered. Jaejoong let out a sigh, but before he could walk away from his sister, she reached out and grabbed his arm with a look of fear on her face.
“Grandma’s in the hospital.”
o-o-o
She was sickly and frail against the pale white of the hospital bed, and Jaejoong had to fight back tears as he slowly walked up to her bedside. He could hear the beeping of the monitor beside her, and the rolling of a cart being pushed along the corridor, and it all made him feel sick to his stomach.
Before he took his place beside her, he walked back to shut the door. Jaejoong then placed the bouquet of flowers on the nightstand, sat down, and reached out to grasp his grandma’s hand. He stroked her hand gently, his skin young and smooth against her wrinkled, bony hand, and he took a deep shuddery breath when she finally opened her eyes.
“Jaejoong…”
“Hi grandma, how are you feeling…?” Jaejoong whispered softly as he leaned forward to smoothen back the old woman’s grey hairs. He smiled at her gently, “They said I could stay here the night.”
“Oh baby, you don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Jaejoong replied. “I wouldn’t want to leave you alone…”
The elderly woman took a deep breath, and Jaejoong watched as she shut her eyes. It seemed difficult for her to speak, so just as he was about to tell her that she wasn’t obliged to reply to him, she spoke.
“Did you see Yunho today?” she asked kindly as she squeezed his hand tightly. She opened her eyes and looked into her grandchild’s. “Now that I’m lying here, I feel all the more regret that I didn’t try to visit him…”
“He doesn’t mind grandma, I’m sure of that. He’s not the kind of person to hold a grudge.” Jaejoong murmured as he stared down at his grandmother’s hand. He licked his lips then continued. “I saw him before I came here…”
He could feel his grandmother’s eyes upon him, but Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to look back at her.
“What did he say?”
“He told me to tell you that…that…he told me to tell you that grandpa, no, Takeshi loved you very much.” Jaejoong bit his lip, and he had to hold himself back from crying in front of his grandmother. “His last prayer to Yunho was that you would never feel alone without him, and so…Yunho says he hopes he’s fulfilled his dear friend’s request.”
Jaejoong quickly wiped his eyes with his free hand, and when he looked at his grandmother, he saw that she was smiling at him. He blinked at her through his teary eyes, wondering how she would react.
“You really love him, don’t you?” his grandmother asked, her voice soft.
“I…I do…”
“Oh sweetheart…”
Jaejoong immediately sought her embrace, and she hugged him tightly. Although she was weak and frail, her spirit was strong and filled with life. She kissed her beloved grandson’s hair and embraced him as if it were her last chance to do so.
“Although our love ones move on in life - and perhaps, in a way, leave us behind,” she whispered as Jaejoong cried his frustrations out onto her shoulder, “We keep them alive in our hearts as we continue on our own paths as well.”
She kissed his forehead, and when Jaejoong slowly began to calm down, she whispered into his ear.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” she murmured. “Love is not so easily forgotten.”
o-o-o
It was an inevitable thing, and when his mother told him the news, Jaejoong simply nodded in response. His grandmother was bed-ridden, and it was not expected for her to make a recovery. With how things were turning out, certain arrangements had to be made in regards to her possessions.
And with none of his aunts or uncles having the desire to keep their childhood home, there was nothing he could do about the fact that the property, including the shrine, would be sold.
But although he could understand his relatives’ decision, that didn’t mean he had to agree with it.
Jaejoong slowly made his way into his grandmother’s storage room on orders from his mother to clean up everything and place whatever was lying around into boxes. He entered the storage room, after struggling with the door for a few minutes, and found the room to be much neater than expected.
He smiled at all the boxes - some of them were labeled with years, while some of them were labeled with names of his cousins, siblings, aunts, and uncles. Jaejoong approached the box closest to him - Minjung’s, and kneeled down to open it because it wasn’t taped shut.
There was a slight film of dust over the faded pink notebook at the top of the pile of stuff, but despite that, Jaejoong plucked it out anyway. He wiped at the dust, making sure to keep the notebook away while doing so, and then slowly opened the notebook to reveal its yellowing pages. He flipped through it, skimming over the entries, but when he reached the end, he stopped at the sight of a particular name.
Dear diary,
Mommy and daddy tell me we’re not coming back here for awhile. They say we have to go live in Korea again, so I’m sad. I’ll miss my friends. I don’t want to leave, but mommy says we have to because daddy has to.
I don’t want to go. I told Yunnie about it, and he told me not to worry about him. He said that grandma would take care of him while I’m away and that the shrine is a nice place for him to live in all the time. I don’t want to leave Yunnie. He’ll be lonely without me. I’m his only best friend. : (
Jaejoong stared at the entry, his eyes widened in shock. He’d never known that Minjung had known about Yunho. He’d heard of his sister having an imaginary friend when she was younger from his parents and several family members - but as Jaejoong tried to think about it, was that imaginary friend actually Yunho?
The age difference between them was rather large - six years, so they’d never really been each other’s confidants until he’d finally turned older and more mature.
When Minjung had written her last entry, Jaejoong decided that it he’d been eight, because that was his age when they’d left Japan to live in Korea on account of his father’s job transfer. It’d taken them three years before they finally returned to Japan - due to his grandfather’s passing, and he was eleven, and Minjung seventeen, by the time.
The day they returned was also the day he first met Yunho.
His sister had long out grown staying at home by that age, and so he’d been left on his own, eventually wandering to the shrine one day in search of adventure - and on that day, he’d met Yunho. His grandmother found out about him being able to see Yunho not long after because he’d initially thought Yunho was a ghost and he’d come to her with the belief that Yunho was haunting them.
After hearing his story, his grandmother quickly eased away his fears and told him that the ability to see Yunho was a gift, one she’d never been given, but one his grandfather had possessed when he was alive. She told him to keep it a secret between the two of them, and so Jaejoong had followed.
But what of Minjung? What had happened to her and Yunho?
Deciding that he could leave the task for some other time, Jaejoong quickly placed the notebook back into the box and left the room, determined to find his sister and to hear of the story she’d unknowingly hid from him.
o-o-o
He slid the door open, and Minjung raised an eyebrow at him.
“What do you want from me?” she asked as she turned around to grab her phone off her desk. “If you want me to bring you somewhere, the answer is no -“
“Why don’t you visit Yunho anymore?”
Minjung held her phone in her hand then faced him, a look of confusion on her face. She furrowed her brows and sat up, “Who’s Yunho?”
Jaejoong stared at his sister for a few seconds, waited for her to say something further, but when she didn’t, he spoke up.
“He’s the god who lives at our shrine - your playmate, back when you were younger.”
“Jaejoong, I think you’re going crazy.” Minjung said slowly as she studied her brother carefully. “I don’t know anyone named Yunho, okay? I swear, you should stop spending so much time at that creepy place -“
“Why don’t you remember him?” Jaejoong questioned, his voice tight with emotion. He stared at his sister with a mix of confusion and frustration, “He was your -“
“Are you talking about Yunnie?”
“Yes -“
“Geez Jaejoong,” his older sister huffed. “He was just an imaginary friend. Someone I made up because no one was around to play with me.” She turned her eyes to her phone at the sound of an incoming message, but she paused as soon as a thought came to mind.
“…is that what you’re doing now - the reason for why you’re always at the shrine by yourself? Do you need someone to pay attention -“
Before Minjung could finish her sentence, Jaejoong turned and fled the room, his feet taking him to the only person he knew the answers to all his questions.
o-o-o
He was breathless as he reached the hill’s summit, but that didn’t stop him from continuing with what he needed to do. Jaejoong turned around sharply, trying to find Yunho, but his eyes failed him. Just as he was about to let out a yell of frustration, a clear voice resounded and cut straight to his ears.
“What’s wrong?”
Jaejoong turned, and he saw Yunho standing only a few meters away. He raced up to Yunho and stopped when the other was within his reach.
“Minjung…you know Minjung.” He began, his thoughts coming together far too slowly for his liking. Jaejoong shook his head before Yunho spoke and forced the words to come out of his mouth. “She wrote about you, I know it’s you. Don’t please…don’t confuse me, all I want is the truth.”
He breathed in deeply and looked at Yunho questioningly.
“Why doesn’t she remember you anymore?”
Yunho stared into Jaejoong’s eyes, his eyes unreadable.
“Because she forgot,” he whispered. “She forgot me.” Yunho kept his eyes fixed upon Jaejoong’s, and as he opened his mouth to continue, Jaejoong felt his heart constrict tightly in his chest.
“Once…once a person forgets and stops believing, that’s it. There’s nothing in my power that can be done to regain what once was.” The god spoke slowly, his tone not revealing any of his emotions. “Time changes faith - it changes what people believe in, and what they choose to remember…and once something is lost to time, it is not something easily recovered.”
“Jaejoong…”
The teenager felt the tears roll down his cheeks, and Yunho’s expression instantly turned grim.
“And what happens…what happens if no one remembers you anymore? What will happen to you once the shrine is gone, when -“
“I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?” Jaejoong cried. He wiped at his eyes in frustration and took a step closer. “Why don’t you know what’s going to happen to you?”
“Jaejoong, what happens to you after you die?”
The teenager stilled, and Yunho smiled sadly at him.
“You don’t know, do you?”
“But, you’re a god, you’re not allowed to -“
“I don’t know it’ll be the end for me,” Yunho whispered as he took a step closer to Jaejoong. He reached out, his fingertips only millimeters from Jaejooong’s cheek, “But this is my fate Jaejoong, as an old god living in a modern world. Some things…some things just have to go.”
“You are so young Jaejoong,” Yunho said softly, his eyes finally betraying the emotions he felt inside and causing Jaejoong’s internal turmoil to worsen further. “You will forget me someday but do not worry, for that will make this easier for you to bear.”
The tears rolled down Jaejoong’s cheeks, and before he could hold himself back, he tried to reach for Yunho. His arms reached out, desperate to grasp against something solid, something that would assure him that Yunho was truly there, but all he got was air.
Jaejoong fell to the grass, and when he sat up, Yunho was gone.
o-o-o
His grandmother died five days later, on a beautiful sunny day with not a single cloud in sight. The funeral followed soon after, and along with that came the eventual day that they would return to Seoul. But before they would leave, Jaejoong’s friends insisted that they had to throw a farewell party for him.
Despite everything, his parents agreed, and so Jaejoong was then quickly dragged into sleeping over at Yuu’s house for the big event.
It was pretty much everything he thought it would be with the loud music, the illegally bought drunks, the uncomfortable goodbyes from some people he didn’t really know, and the countless awkward hugs. But after a couple of hours, and once it was almost four in the morning, things eventually winded down.
Jaejoong carefully walked past the people who were sleeping on the floor and made his way to the balcony. As soon as he was outside, he was unsurprised to see Yuu sitting down on one of the chairs and nursing a beer.
“Did you have fun?” Yuu asked as he handed his beer over to Jaejoong.
The younger teenager wrinkled his nose and shook his head before he sat down on the chair closest to Yuu’s. “Yeah, I suppose I did.” He answered slowly, his eyes focused on the bright moon on the horizon.
“You don’t sound like you enjoyed yourself…”
Jaejoong turned his head and smiled at Yuu, “Just because I’m not drunk, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself, alright?” He turned his eyes back to the moon and breathed in deeply. “It’s just…the past couple of days have been…”
“I can understand.”
“It’s a kind of numbing feeling,” Jaejoong whispered. “To lose so many things in one go, I just…it’s hard to pick yourself up again and tell yourself that it’s okay to go on without them.” He drew his knees close to his chest and took a deep breath. “The party, it’s a welcome distraction…but when the sun rises, I know what’s coming.”
Yuu took a sip of his beer then spoke. “Life isn’t about the losses Jaejoong - that’s too pessimistic of a view to keep.”
“Says the guy who just lost his girlfriend to some baseball player,” Jaejoong teased lightly.
“Well, just because I lost her to some douche, that doesn’t mean I’ll be girlfriend-less forever, you know?” The older teenager replied. “I mean, I’m not saying that you’ll get a new grandmother, but what I’m saying is…”
Jaejoong turned his eyes to his friend, and he waited for Yuu to finish the struggle to complete his sentence.
“Alright, what I’m saying is, that just because you feel a certain kind of emptiness now, that doesn’t mean you’ll always be lacking something.” Yuu spoke. “There’s lots out there -“ he gestured with his beer bottle, “Somewhere, there are things that’ll make you happy again.”
A genuine smile graced Jaejoong’s lips, and he chuckled. “You sound like a wise Chinese poet. Perhaps you should be drinking all the time.”
“Fuck you Jaejoong,” Yuu muttered. “I’ve always been a genius, you’re just too stupid to listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth sometimes.”
o-o-o
He didn’t have much time left.
Jaejoong slowly made his way up the steps to the shrine, and when he reached the top, he could feel his heart begin to quicken its pace. He tightened his grip on the bouquet of flowers in his hand, and as he neared the shrine, he felt his composure quickly begin to slip away from him.
“Are you here?” Jaejoong whispered, his hand close to crushing the bouquet. He kept his eyes focused on the shrine and swallowed hard. “Please, Yunho…”
“You’re leaving soon.”
Jaejoong shut his eyes, and he nodded slowly. He took in a deep, shuddery breath then opened his eyes. He turned to his right, and he saw Yunho standing only a few feet away from him.
“I…” The teenager shot Yunho a sad smile and forced himself to come out with the words that had lingered on the tip of his tongue for far too long. “Yunho, I love you, and...I’ll miss you.”
The tears began to roll down his cheeks before he continued his next sentence, but at that point, Jaejoong really didn’t care anymore, “And I don’t want to forget you, I promised myself that I wouldn’t…”
“Jaejoong…”
“My grandfather, he prayed to you one last time before he left…right?” Jaejoong asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He wiped at his eyes and swallowed hard, trying his best to keep going even though his young heart was breaking. “Well, I have a prayer too.”
“No, I don’t know anymore, okay?” the teenager muttered, “I don’t care what this is anymore, a prayer, a wish or just…” he raised his teary eyes off the ground and met Yunho’s gaze. “I just…I want to see you again - someday. I don’t care when, I don’t care how, I just…I want to see you again.”
His mother called him from the foot of the hill, and Jaejoong’s heart clenched tightly in his chest. He stared into Yunho’s eyes one last time, and smiled at him - a beautiful smile despite his tear streaked cheeks. The seconds passed by slowly, and Jaejoong’s mother soon called him again, shattering their tiny moment of peace.
“I have to go,” Jaejoong whispered.
“I know.”
Yunho slowly walked up to him, and when he stopped, they were only hair breadths apart. “When we first met, you were a lonely child with no one to play with.” He whispered, “…and now, you’re about to venture off into a new world on your own, without me.”
“I cannot plead for you to remember me, but Jaejoong…” Yunho smiled at him, and Jaejoong’s heart clenched at the sight of Yunho’s sad smile. “But Jaejoong, I can only ask one thing of you.”
“And what’s that?”
“Always remember that you are never truly alone.” The god reached out, and Jaejoong shut his eyes, desperately wishing he could feel Yunho’s fingertips brush against his skin.
Instead of the pressure of a human touch, the wind blew against him, wrapping around him with a gentle and almost familiar embrace, lasting only for a few seconds before gradually disappearing.
“Goodbye.”
“Jaejoong, praying to the gods isn’t going to make you batch valedictorian.”
“Fuck you,” Jaejoong snapped as he tied his wish onto a tree branch. “Yuu, just because you’re some wannabe actor slash model now, that doesn’t mean you get to go around being an asshole.”
Yuu laughed, “Need help with that wish of yours?” he asked as he crossed his arms across his chest. “It doesn’t seem like you’re tall enough -“
Jaejoong turned around and flipped his best friend off. “Just go away, would you? I’ll meet you at the top of the shrine. Just leave me alone -“
“Fine.”
“Fine!”
The two best friends stared at each other, and Yuu burst out into laughter first. He shook his head at Jaejoong and began to walk away. “You know, I kind of miss the way you were four years ago. You were a lot quieter then!”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and didn’t bother to reply. Just as he was about to re-tie his wish onto the branch, the wind blew and the piece of paper slipped through his fingers. He yelped and turned around, but before he could try to snatch the piece of paper out of the air, he knocked into someone else.
“Shit, I’m so -“
At the sight of the stranger’s face, Jaejoong was rendered completely still while the person he’d knocked into knelt down to pick up his fallen plastic bag. The stranger picked up an orange that had rolled out, making sure to pick up Jaejoong’s piece of paper as well.
Jaejoong quickly tried to compose himself, “I’m so sorry,” he said hastily as he picked up another stray orange. He handed it back to the other, his eyes trailing upwards and raking over the other’s face.
“It’s okay,” the stranger replied as he took the orange before he handed Jaejoong back his strip of paper. “It happens sometimes.”
“I -“
“Do you need help with your paper…?” The stranger asked, “I mean, you looked like you were having some difficulty, so that’s why I came over…”
Jaejoong took a step back and held the piece of paper back out, “I…yes, well, okay. Sure.” He blushed and took the man’s grocery bag out of his hands. “Thank you so much.”
“It’s no big deal,” the other man spoke as he tied the wish easily onto a high part of the branch. “I do this for my sister all the time.”
“You have a sister?” Jaejoong asked, the question coming out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
The man laughed and turned around. “Yeah, I do. I’m actually supposed to meet her at the summit.” The man flashed a brilliant smile at him, “What about you? Are you alone?”
“Oh, no - I’m not.”
“Are you meeting someone here then?”
“I…I think so,” Jaejoong whispered, words coming to his mind as he continued to stare into the familiar face in front of him.
“I just…I want to see you again - someday. I don’t care when, I don’t care how, I just…I want to see you again.”
“Excuse me?”
Jaejoong shook his head and smiled to himself, his heart pounding in his chest with a familiar feeling of joy. “I mean yes, there’s someone I have to meet.” He flashed a smile at the man in front of him, “I’m meeting him at the summit too.”
“We can go together then,” the other man said in a friendly manner.
“Sure,” Jaejoong replied as he fell into line beside the other man. He said nothing as they walked to the stairs that led to the summit, but as they began to make their way up, a gentle breeze blew against him once again.
He looked at the man beside him, only to catch him looking at him.
“I just realize, but I forgot to tell you, I’m Jaejoong by the way,” Jaejoong spoke, his heart pounding in his chest. “And you are…?”
The other man smiled and held out his hand.
“Yunho.”
Author’s Note: I had a ton of inspirations for this oneshot. From the anime series Kamichu, to the animated film Spirited Away, and to the novel American Gods by Neil Gaiman, I swear…I just had so much creative energy for this story. *__* I know that reincarnation isn’t a belief associated with shintoism, but hey…okay, I took artistic/creative liberties with that. :P Thank you so much for reading and belated happy birthday Moomin~ ♥