Latin Translation Check

[ravensnake]

I've got a few Latin phrases that I was hoping someone would be able to check for me. I've been studying declensions and cases and everything for the last week but I'm not 100% sure I've translated these right. Given that my lead character was born a Roman, it'd be embarrassing if he messed up his mother-tongue!

cursed people = exsecrati homines

Comments

[goldvermilion87]

What are you doing with the latin phrases? Are they subjects of the sentence? Are you addressing them? Because that makes a difference as to whether your endings are correct.

Also, you would definitely want the title to be in the same case. "Prince Gaius," strikes me as slightly off, though, just as a title. I could be entirely wrong, but if this is historical fiction, you might want to check what sorts of titles people were given in ancient Rome.

[ravensnake]

I am using them as the subject of the sentence. The story is set in modern times and this terms haven't been used since around 900AD. During the story they're only ever discussed: "They used to call them [devil's of the sun]", "The [senate] were a group of people who...", etc.

Prince is historically inaccurate, but as I said below to blackat_t7t the term was chosen by people who don't have much understanding of Roman history or of Latin.

[surgicalsteel]

It's been a looooong time (like 25 years) since I studied Latin, but I'll echo what goldvermilion87 said. Latin's got about a gazillion and three different endings for nouns and verbs both. What that word is doing in a sentence determine what ending you'd use.

[alextiefling]

As goldvermillion87 indicates, the exact form of the word in each instance depends on its role in the sentence. In answer to your last question, every part of a compound noun phrase declines together. So 'good friend' is amicus bonus, but 'of a good friend' is amici boni. The vocative is a little odd, in that it's the same as the nominative for all but certain second-declension masculine nouns and adjectives. 'Prince' is princeps, which is third-declension, so it'll be the same in the nominative. But 'prince' as a title didn't really exist in the classical era; Gaius princeps would be understood as 'Gaius, one of the foremost men', or 'Gaius, the leader'.

On to the translations themselves:

I prefer maledictus to exsecratus for 'accursed', although either will do. Damnatus also works, as it means 'condemned'. For 'people', homines is correct if it's an arbitrary group of people, but a population is populus, and a clan is gens (both singular). All that said, exsecrati homines would be understood, but it's more usual - except in specific instances -

[10littlebullets]

+1

The distinction between 'people' as in 'multiple persons' and 'people' as in 'a people, population, folk, etc,' is much muddier in English than in the Romance languages. Use homines only if you really are going for 'cursed men' (in the wider gender-neutral sense) rather than 'the cursed race.' Since they have a senate, it's almost certainly the latter.

I'll also second the suggestion of maledictus, which sounds a bit less clunky than exsecratus. So populus maledictus and senatus populi maledicti.

Another option might be a substantive use of maledictus alone: maledicti, 'the accursed,' and senatus maledictorum, 'senate of the accursed.'

And another +1 for diaboli oculis rubris.

[penhaligonblue]

+1 for use of a substantive noun instead of tacking a translation of 'people' onto your adjective.

[alextiefling]

Agreed. I should have thought of that.

[stormwreath]

exsecrati homines - that's fine.

senatui exsecratorum homonum - should be senatus exsecratorum hominum.
'Senatui' is the dative case, "To the Senate" or "For the Senate".
For 'hominum', it's 'i' not 'o'.

diaboli cum ruberis oculis - I'm not sure if 'cum' is the right word here; there are several different ways to translate 'with' in Latin, and I think 'cum' carries the meaning "accompanied by" rather than "is endowed with". I'll leave that one for someone more expert. :)
'Ruberis' should be 'rubris', however: lose the 'e'.

diabolus solis - this is singular, "devil of the sun". Devils of the sun would be diaboli solis

Yes, the title should be in the vocative if it's being used as a term of address. (Not that Prince is a title any Roman would be familiar or comfortable with! Much too royalist. The Latin word it's derived from, princeps, just means 'first citizen'.)

[cuddyclothes]

I have nothing to add here. Just had to write that I adore your icon.