A Stitch In Time (3/6)
Title: A Stitch In Time
Chapter: 3/6
Author: little_artemis (AKA balthiersgirl on y!, and littleartemis everywhere else)
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Sam Winchester, Jo Harvelle, Dean/Cas
Warning: masturbation
Summary: Things had been messed up big time the first time around. Opening Purgatory, and everything else that came with it, so maybe a second chance was all the Winchester's and Castiel needed to patch things up. To right the wrongs and maybe a certain pair of idiots would finally see how much they loved each other.
Notes:
Disclaimer: All characters, and the world belong to their respective owners. I claim no rights to them, and make no profit from this fan work.
Thankfully for them both, the graduation and funeral went by with little problems. Or questions. Everyone pretty much let them be, leaving the brothers to a peaceful state of dealing with things in their quiet coexisting way, both reflecting on their bottled feelings in private. Which was mostly whenever they were alone together and Sam could coax Dean into talking about his feelings for his best friend.
In some ways, also trying to play matchmaker.
Little things would come up like ‘you should tell him...you never know in your line of work’ and ‘what if he gets shot tomorrow?’ - things that had been at the back of his mind, bugging him for days. Weeks. Months.
He had tried not to think on it too hard but they were still there. Tugging at his mind even more with the dry spell both of them were having in the love department.
Though it was not like either of them were openly seeking a partner for sex or commitment. In a way he was almost happy about it? He did not have to see man after man come through the apartment only to leave disgusted by Castiel’s scars. Scars he found beautiful. Castiel was his guardian angel after all. Better than any of those bastards could imagine. He wanted more than anything to trace his fingers over them, kiss along the mangled flesh and show his friend that he was the most beautiful soul in Dean’s world...
Each talk with Sam made things a little more awkward to look his best friend in the eyes. Especially with how emotional the talks got. Sam describing how he felt about Jess, Dean in turn sharing his feelings about Castiel.
It did not seem to matter though with Cas not even meeting Dean’s eyes in return when they were in the same room together. If Jimmy was there he would lean in close to his brother, whispering things into his twin’s ear that would have him blushing and hissing back something likely not too nice. He only guessed it was not too nice by Jimmy’s frown, and the way they seemed to be talking had the eldest Winchester’s eyebrows would furrow in question but that would be it.
He was used to the twin’s talking in hushed tones, they all were. Jimmy and Cas were usually fused at the hip, at least until Cas went into law school and Jimmy into business. When Cas was not with Dean, he was usually with his brother. Dean always figured it was a twin thing and left it alone. He would not bother Cas about what they were talking about though.
After all if Castiel wanted him to know about it, he would tell him.
Wouldn’t he?
With the most minimal of fighting Dean had helped his brother pack his things together. With graduation done the youngest Winchester was ready to move home. At least that was what everyone thought. Jessica’s parents planning on coming by later to gather whatever was left of her things as Dean, and a few family friends helped Sam gather his things.
He kept asking about the training to get into the FBI though. His questions mainly directed at Dean, Jo and Castiel who all kept giving him questioning looks before passing looks between each other.
The oldest of them explained how they picked candidates, what they had to go through and everything else in an almost mechanical manner. Though his bright blue eyes were focused on Sam in question. Almost suspicious which was what Dean felt even as he loaded things into the box before him. His attention divided, wondering just what his brother was up to. What was going through his mind...?
“Show me where to sign up. I want to become an agent too.” The words that Dean did not want to hear. The book he was holding was dropped into the box as he just stared at his brother, open mouthed.
“No.” Castiel’s eyes narrowed on the young man, arms crossed over his chest, firm in his words.
“Why not?” his entire body seemed to be moving with the question, arms out wide in challenge as his face scrunched up with some amount of annoyance.
“Your parents worry enough about Dean being a part of the force.” Jo quickly intervened, “Especially since the explosion.” Her voice wavered at that, swallowing hard. “It’s best not to add their second child on to the list of people that may send them to an early grave with a heart attack.” Her voice was calm, collected, like she was looking into the face of a storm and trying to reason with it. Dean had known her since she was born though, and knew that was not fully how she was feeling. He could hear the waver in the young woman’s voice. Both of them, Castiel and Bela even, were all still affected by the explosion...more than any of them would like to admit.
“I know but I have to figure out who did this Jo. You can’t tell me that this doesn’t stink of something wrong.” He had to turn his gaze away, but Dean could tell Sam was gritting his teeth. Probably clenching his fists too looking close to punching their close friend. Anything to let the anger out.
“Revenge is not the best reason to join the force and you know it Sam. You would be too emotionally compromised for the case. Dean too and I’m sure he wants to begin investigating as soon as we get home.” Castiel moved further into the room, closer to Sam, his arms crossed over his chest. Even though he was shorter than Sam by close to half a foot, he looked like a formidable force. His posture and narrowed eyes leaving little room for argument.
Stiffening at the comment about him Dean quickly looked over his shoulder at Cas, cheeks only a little red at being so easily read. The other was not looking at him, gaze still focused on Sam who was almost boiling over with rage by now.
“I have to do something Cas! I can’t just leave it as is, with no idea who killed her, or even why! Why her, why now? Why when I was...” his voice faltered as Jo rushed to his side, the ever silent observer in all of this. Likely not wanting to get between all the testosterone in the room. Even if she could handle her own just fine. He had seen her rough house with the other agents enough times before. She had even fought with him and Cas.
But right now with Castiel holding his position, and Dean being drained from supporting his brother the past week...
She needed to be the nurturing one and hold Sam together.
“This should be talked about when everyone gets home...we both know when a Winchester sets their mind on something, you can’t stop them Cas...saying no will do nothing but make him go around behind your back and find another way.” Her eyes were focused on Dean as she said this and he had to find something else to look at, cheeks flaring up under her gaze.
“I know well enough, which is why I’m trying to shoot down this foolhardy plan now. Even if he did join, he would not be on the case. He would not be allowed near it. He’s too emotionally attached. I do not even know if I would be allowed to investigate Jessica’s possible murder as I am close to the case as well.” What sounded like an exasperated sigh left him, the sound of shuffling as he shifted weight from one foot to the other, fingers combing through his hair turning it into a mess that had Dean staring for too long.
Coughing into her hand, Jo brought him back to the present situation. “How do you feel about this?” She had yet to look away from Dean, and now he had the added pained stare from his brother that made him cringe inwardly. What did he say? No? He was terrified of Sam getting hurt in the line of duty like Cas had been? Hell they had just been back up...
“I don’t like it...” his words came out soft, barely above a whisper. Trying his hardest not to crack as he looked to the floor. “It’s enough that the three of us are on the force. Hell with Ash trying to get in as a technical analyst. But Sam too? Mom wouldn’t be the only one having a heart attack. I would too.” His arms crossed over his chest, shoulders hunched as though he was trying to hug himself like a scared child. “I don’t like it. Plus Cas has a point, no matter how much I want to look into it, none of us would be allowed on the case ‘cause we’re too close to it. And we have to be invited in to look into it.”
Raising one hand to his mouth he chewed on the first available nail, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The silence in the room was agitating him more than he would like. Enough so that he jumped like a terrified animal when Cas took Dean’s hand in his, pulling it from his mouth. His eyes were still on Jo and Sam even as he held his friend’s hand, trying his best to prevent him from tearing away any more nails.
“I know we cannot convince you to not at least try to get into the force, but please...think it over at least. And talk with your parents. You have a future as a lawyer too...” his thumb brushed across the back of Dean’s hand as he said this, almost like he was reassuring him that he was there, and that he would be okay.
With everything said and done, Cas pulled Dean from the room quickly, not giving Sam enough time to say anything more. To argue his case more. Though Dean doubted he would. Both brothers’ were too broken up about the past week. They only had so much fight in them.
Cas moved him outside and around a corner before falling back against a wall, pulling Dean in close to rest his head against the other man’s chest. His fingers curled in the younger ones hair, running through the short strands in an attempt at comfort as Dean grasped at the other’s shirt, hands fisting in the fabric. His eyes closed, taking whatever he could get. Just enjoying the sound of the others heartbeat in his ears. A small comfort, but a comfort all the same.
Especially with his mind playing images of Sam getting caught in the line of fire. Dying in his arms, with Dean unable to do anything to save him.
Just the thought brought him close to losing his breakfast...
It tossed about, aching to the point where he felt like wrapping his arms around his chest to contain himself. He had to do everything the counselors had taught him to keep himself from hurling. His heart raced in his chest, hands shaking, sweating just at the thought of Sam getting hurt. He could not let that happen. Sam was supposed to stay safe. Live a happy life with some girl...
“Breathe Dean...just breathe. Do you want me to get your medications?”
Freezing at those words, he looked into Castiel’s eyes that were full of concern. “No! ...Please no...Sam doesn’t know...” He had been taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications for some time. Along with a sedative for his attacks. He did not want Sam to know how fucked up his big brother really was.
How much of a mess he had become.
“Let’s just...go back to the hotel. I need to relax...we have to get back to work soon and...I just need to take a break. Our flight is the day after tomorrow right?” he pulled back from the other, brushing himself off and wiping at his eyes. Trying to make it look like the fit had not just happened. Even if his heart was still beating like the wings of a hummingbird in his chest.
“Bright and early. So we’ll need to be ready to head to the airport. Sam will likely be heading back to Lawrence with your parents. Jo will be coming to the office with us. I just want to spend some time with Jimmy tomorrow. He’s got to go back home with Amelia since they have a daughter now.” His smile after saying that is a fond one.
“Claire right?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about her on the way to the hotel? I haven’t gotten to see her yet.” He gives Cas a weak curl of lips. The barest of smiles but it is something. Even if it does not reach his eyes.
The other rolls with it, talking animatedly about the baby his brother and sister in-law recently had. How she is quiet as a mouse most of the time unless she needs something. How Jimmy has a picture of her little hand around his finger. Apparently the little girl already had Jimmy around her pinkie though Cas’ twin did not mind.
His mood eased as the time passed though he was still tense. Worried about Sam and what he was going to do. What he had planned. It was not like he could stop him. Sam was a grown man now...He was not some kid who he could just rat out to Mom and Dad. If he wanted to he would do it.
Leaving Dean helpless when he finally went into the field.
Once back at the hotel room they would be sharing for the next two nights he let out a sigh as he sat down on his bed, just staring ahead at the television. Cas was still talking about his brother, sister-in-law, and their new daughter. His voice a pleasant hum in Dean’s ear, keeping him distracted. With everything going on he needed it honestly. Needed to hear someone. To be grounded. Cared for.
Closing his eyes he fell back on the bed, not opening them when he felt the mattress sink next to him as Cas sat down. Nor when the calloused fingers brushed his hair back combing through the mess of brown hair. “You have your medications with you right? I can ask room service to get us something to drink if you’d like...non-alcoholic obviously. We can save that for another time.” His tone was playful, Dean could tell Cas was smiling teasingly without even looking.
“I’m going to guess some form of juice since you’re Mothering me right now.” He gave a small smile in return, finally opening his eyes as he looked into Cas’, his breath catching in his throat at how close the other was.
Close enough that he could feel the other man’s breath on his skin and the weight of him shifting next to him. How his body seemed to be pressed against Dean’s, firm and strong. The same body Dean had dreams of. Wanting Cas to hold him up against a wall and fuck him raw, so hard that Dean’s throat would be sore from screaming Cas’ name.
Desires he has to push aside. What he has now with Cas…it is good enough. The other man does not want him, he is sure of that. Plus Cas is his best friend. He does not want to ruin it with a relationship that might end up a failure…What if they end up hating each other after dating? Yeah they live together already, two bachelors living the high life as agents. But…as a couple?
“Yes juice. You need to take your pills. You also need to eat for that matter. When was the last time you had a good meal, hmm?” Cas’ smile is wide, showing his teeth as he climbs back off the bed to go call room service.
Leaving Dean to let out a relieved breath. If Cas had kept leaning into his personal space he might find out just how much Dean needed to get laid…Exactly what Dean had been hiding since that day they kissed when they were kids.
“Make it apple or orange then…And if you’re ordering food, can you please see if they have pie as well? Yeah it’s not as good as Mom’s, but fuck, I haven’t had pie in too long…Think they offer steak dinner?” He pushes himself up to rest on his elbows, head lolling to the side as he watches his friend look over the menu available to them.
His answer is a simple nod, moving back to the bed with the phone between his ear and shoulder. Handing the menu to Dean, he points to the steak burgers the in hotel restaurant offers before speaking with room service. As Dean read from the menu Cas began to pace, reciting off their order. Checking what drinks they had and offering Dean some form of vodka and juice mix since his doctor had said he could have a little bit of alcohol with his medications.
Once given a nod in answer he finished up the order, setting the phone back down and sitting with Dean. “It’ll be up in half an hour. A little longer maybe as I made sure the steaks are well done. Don’t want either of us getting food poisoning.”
“A death in the family, and then food poisoning. Along with my brother wanting to become an agent. That would make for quite the vacation huh?” he laughs bitterly, head thrown back with eyes closed.
“Don’t think on it too hard. Just lay back and relax. I’ll see if they have anything available on ‘on demand’. Should be some movies out we can watch. Or a TV show for that matter. I think I have the last few episodes of Castle available on my laptop if you’d like to watch that along with dinner.”
As he moved to go find the remote Dean shot up, grabbing his arm. “Wait! Castle? Him and Beckett get together finally in the finale right? We need to see that! Dude get your laptop!”
Laughing he did as told too happily. “You’re too invested in those two.”
Dean just scowled in response. “I saw spoilers about them breaking up the rysposito monster. I want something good to happen at least. And if it’s my OTP that’s been thick with sexual tension for four fucking seasons becoming canon finally? So be it! And don’t you deny shipping it, I know you do! I saw that dirty caskett knotting fic you wrote!”
The other agent's face goes a deep red at that before he scowls back, “wait…Are you rysposito1979?!”
“…I admit to nothing.”
“Dean!”
Leaping quickly from the bed he runs for the bathroom, the suddenness leaving Cas startled enough to give Dean a head start. Laughing he locks himself in hearing Cas’ hands slam against the door a low growl following behind. “Damnit Dean! That was the filthiest response to a fic I have ever gotten you know!”
“Gotten is not a word! And I know! You should have seen your face man! It was priceless! I think I even got a pic of it too!” he’s grinning to himself, back against the door the noises Cas was making going straight to his groin.
“I swear Dean Ross Winchester one of these days.”
“The day you get the upper hand on me is the day I parade around in satiny pink lingerie and hand my man card to Jo.”
“One of these days Winchester. One of these days. Now take a fuckin’ shower, piss, shit, whatever it is you need to do in there. Though Father above I swear if I hear you jerking it in there I am recording it and sharing just how vocal you are with the entire BAU.”
“…You wouldn’t.”
“I bet Victor Heinricksen would love to know his ex is still a screamer.”
“Fine you prude!”
Blushing, he could almost hear the smirk in Cas’ voice. Just the tone of it told him Cas knew he had Dean cornered.
Though Cas did not know just how practiced Dean was in keeping himself quiet when he was jerking it…Or he did and did not mention it. Whatever. The embarrassing thing was that Cas actually knew Dean was loud.
Stripping he sighed to himself, wincing as he pulled his jacket off his left shoulder, then his clothes. He knew that Cas knew, but it was still embarrassing to think that his friend had heard those things. His friend that he would rather be the one fucking him. But that was a thing best left to jerk off fantasies.
Looking at himself in the mirror, his eyes focused on his scarred and mangled left shoulder. Where traces of Cas’ skin were likely still imprinted in the handprint burned into his shoulder. Where Cas had used his body to shield Dean’s in the explosion.
Closing his eyes he covered the handprint with his own, a low breath leaving him. His friend had mangled his right hand beyond recognition for him. He could still feel the phantom pain of the fire on his skin. The touch of Cas as he covered Dean’s body with his own. How he was sort of glad their bodies had mostly shielded Jo and Bela from it all.
They were rookies. They should not have had to face all that. Not for their first field case…
Tracing his fingers along the less severe burn scars along his left arm he just closed his eyes. Thankful that this was the worst of it. Even if he would take Cas’ scarred up right hand, and arm along with his scarred back if he could.
Blinking the tears from his eyes he looked to the standing shower. Relieve himself, shower, jerk it off, then go face the music and watch some TV with Cas.
Sounded like a good end to a stressful day.
Smiling to himself he stripped the rest of the way before going about his business. Once in the shower he turned the water and went to work. Licking his lips slowly he pressed his forehead to the shower wall, hands tracing over his body. His eyes fluttered closed as the warm spray trickled over his skin, breath hot as he squirmed, fingers brushing over peaked nipples. It was on the tip of his tongue to moan Cas’ name.
If he could he would damn well scream it.
Scream it loud enough that his throat was raw. That Cas would need to gag him just to keep him quiet. Or fuck his mouth. Put Dean’s lips to good use and let him taste the very thing he had been longing to taste for too long. Just the thought of him pounding his thickness in and out of Dean’s mouth. How he would fill him up, and make Dean drink it all when he had finally come. Then pull out leaving Dean’s lips plump and fucked out.
It was the stuff made of wet dreams that had Dean leaking precome over the shower wall.
Biting back a whine he rested one hand on the wall.
The other ventured behind him. Teasing fingers along his crack, slipping between the cheeks to press at his entrance. He had not felt a cock inside him in god knows how long. Come to think of it…he had not been laid in forever. That would have to change.
Letting the water of the shower lubricate him enough he begun to push one finger in. It was not enough. Never enough. It made it worse that Cas was just on the other side of the room.
That if Dean had enough balls he could climb into the other man’s lap and beg him to fuck his brains out.
Letting out a heavy breath he pressed another finger in, hips rocking back into it as his other hand dragged down the shower wall. He just imagined it was Cas doing this. Touching him intimately. Telling him not to touch his cock. Just feel it.
Or better yet commanding Dean to give him a show. Get himself nice and read with his fingers so he could be taken nice and hard by Cas’ cock. Spread his cheeks wide and stretch his hole obscenely as his friend watched telling Dean how slutty he looked. How loose his hole was, eager for a dick to be inside of him.
He had to close his eyes tight the hand against the shower wall fisting, trying not to hit it and alarm Cas. It took everything in him just not to reach down and fist his aching hardness. Finger himself like some slut as he jerked his cock to mental images of his best friend naked.
Naked and spread out waiting for him…beckoning Dean over with one finger to slip into his lap. Ride him nice and slow until both were breathless and needing. Covered in sweat from their fucking.
Breathing hard through his nose he dug his teeth into his bottom lip, viciously fucking himself with his fingers. Jamming them in hard and fast as he bucked against the wall. Cock rubbing against it, precome dripping from his length as he got closer to his climax. The fantasies doing enough to get him almost over the edge.
“Cas…Cas…please…” the words came out low and breathless, his bite-swollen lips pressed to the wall as he bucked. Hoping the shower was enough to mask his words from the others keen ears.
Hearing curses from the other in the other room he imagined it was Cas seeing Dean spread out. Begging the man to take him.
It was enough to bring him to the edge. To drive him to the peak without even touching his cock, come smeared over the wall of the shower leaving Dean breathless as he rested against the wall. The other man’s name on his lips as he closed his eyes.
It was followed by a broken mix of a laugh and a sob, fingers dragging along the wall a slight squeaking noise made by flesh on rubber.
“I love you…” it was whispered to no one in particular, though he knew who the words were meant for.
Just like only he would know that under the spray in that shower tears fell from his eyes. Longing for something that seemed out of reach.
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Chapter: 3/6
Author: little_artemis (AKA balthiersgirl on y!, and littleartemis everywhere else)
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Sam Winchester, Jo Harvelle, Dean/Cas
Warning: masturbation
Summary: Things had been messed up big time the first time around. Opening Purgatory, and everything else that came with it, so maybe a second chance was all the Winchester's and Castiel needed to patch things up. To right the wrongs and maybe a certain pair of idiots would finally see how much they loved each other.
Notes:
Disclaimer: All characters, and the world belong to their respective owners. I claim no rights to them, and make no profit from this fan work.
Thankfully for them both, the graduation and funeral went by with little problems. Or questions. Everyone pretty much let them be, leaving the brothers to a peaceful state of dealing with things in their quiet coexisting way, both reflecting on their bottled feelings in private. Which was mostly whenever they were alone together and Sam could coax Dean into talking about his feelings for his best friend.
In some ways, also trying to play matchmaker.
Little things would come up like ‘you should tell him...you never know in your line of work’ and ‘what if he gets shot tomorrow?’ - things that had been at the back of his mind, bugging him for days. Weeks. Months.
He had tried not to think on it too hard but they were still there. Tugging at his mind even more with the dry spell both of them were having in the love department.
Though it was not like either of them were openly seeking a partner for sex or commitment. In a way he was almost happy about it? He did not have to see man after man come through the apartment only to leave disgusted by Castiel’s scars. Scars he found beautiful. Castiel was his guardian angel after all. Better than any of those bastards could imagine. He wanted more than anything to trace his fingers over them, kiss along the mangled flesh and show his friend that he was the most beautiful soul in Dean’s world...
Each talk with Sam made things a little more awkward to look his best friend in the eyes. Especially with how emotional the talks got. Sam describing how he felt about Jess, Dean in turn sharing his feelings about Castiel.
It did not seem to matter though with Cas not even meeting Dean’s eyes in return when they were in the same room together. If Jimmy was there he would lean in close to his brother, whispering things into his twin’s ear that would have him blushing and hissing back something likely not too nice. He only guessed it was not too nice by Jimmy’s frown, and the way they seemed to be talking had the eldest Winchester’s eyebrows would furrow in question but that would be it.
He was used to the twin’s talking in hushed tones, they all were. Jimmy and Cas were usually fused at the hip, at least until Cas went into law school and Jimmy into business. When Cas was not with Dean, he was usually with his brother. Dean always figured it was a twin thing and left it alone. He would not bother Cas about what they were talking about though.
After all if Castiel wanted him to know about it, he would tell him.
Wouldn’t he?
With the most minimal of fighting Dean had helped his brother pack his things together. With graduation done the youngest Winchester was ready to move home. At least that was what everyone thought. Jessica’s parents planning on coming by later to gather whatever was left of her things as Dean, and a few family friends helped Sam gather his things.
He kept asking about the training to get into the FBI though. His questions mainly directed at Dean, Jo and Castiel who all kept giving him questioning looks before passing looks between each other.
The oldest of them explained how they picked candidates, what they had to go through and everything else in an almost mechanical manner. Though his bright blue eyes were focused on Sam in question. Almost suspicious which was what Dean felt even as he loaded things into the box before him. His attention divided, wondering just what his brother was up to. What was going through his mind...?
“Show me where to sign up. I want to become an agent too.” The words that Dean did not want to hear. The book he was holding was dropped into the box as he just stared at his brother, open mouthed.
“No.” Castiel’s eyes narrowed on the young man, arms crossed over his chest, firm in his words.
“Why not?” his entire body seemed to be moving with the question, arms out wide in challenge as his face scrunched up with some amount of annoyance.
“Your parents worry enough about Dean being a part of the force.” Jo quickly intervened, “Especially since the explosion.” Her voice wavered at that, swallowing hard. “It’s best not to add their second child on to the list of people that may send them to an early grave with a heart attack.” Her voice was calm, collected, like she was looking into the face of a storm and trying to reason with it. Dean had known her since she was born though, and knew that was not fully how she was feeling. He could hear the waver in the young woman’s voice. Both of them, Castiel and Bela even, were all still affected by the explosion...more than any of them would like to admit.
“I know but I have to figure out who did this Jo. You can’t tell me that this doesn’t stink of something wrong.” He had to turn his gaze away, but Dean could tell Sam was gritting his teeth. Probably clenching his fists too looking close to punching their close friend. Anything to let the anger out.
“Revenge is not the best reason to join the force and you know it Sam. You would be too emotionally compromised for the case. Dean too and I’m sure he wants to begin investigating as soon as we get home.” Castiel moved further into the room, closer to Sam, his arms crossed over his chest. Even though he was shorter than Sam by close to half a foot, he looked like a formidable force. His posture and narrowed eyes leaving little room for argument.
Stiffening at the comment about him Dean quickly looked over his shoulder at Cas, cheeks only a little red at being so easily read. The other was not looking at him, gaze still focused on Sam who was almost boiling over with rage by now.
“I have to do something Cas! I can’t just leave it as is, with no idea who killed her, or even why! Why her, why now? Why when I was...” his voice faltered as Jo rushed to his side, the ever silent observer in all of this. Likely not wanting to get between all the testosterone in the room. Even if she could handle her own just fine. He had seen her rough house with the other agents enough times before. She had even fought with him and Cas.
But right now with Castiel holding his position, and Dean being drained from supporting his brother the past week...
She needed to be the nurturing one and hold Sam together.
“This should be talked about when everyone gets home...we both know when a Winchester sets their mind on something, you can’t stop them Cas...saying no will do nothing but make him go around behind your back and find another way.” Her eyes were focused on Dean as she said this and he had to find something else to look at, cheeks flaring up under her gaze.
“I know well enough, which is why I’m trying to shoot down this foolhardy plan now. Even if he did join, he would not be on the case. He would not be allowed near it. He’s too emotionally attached. I do not even know if I would be allowed to investigate Jessica’s possible murder as I am close to the case as well.” What sounded like an exasperated sigh left him, the sound of shuffling as he shifted weight from one foot to the other, fingers combing through his hair turning it into a mess that had Dean staring for too long.
Coughing into her hand, Jo brought him back to the present situation. “How do you feel about this?” She had yet to look away from Dean, and now he had the added pained stare from his brother that made him cringe inwardly. What did he say? No? He was terrified of Sam getting hurt in the line of duty like Cas had been? Hell they had just been back up...
“I don’t like it...” his words came out soft, barely above a whisper. Trying his hardest not to crack as he looked to the floor. “It’s enough that the three of us are on the force. Hell with Ash trying to get in as a technical analyst. But Sam too? Mom wouldn’t be the only one having a heart attack. I would too.” His arms crossed over his chest, shoulders hunched as though he was trying to hug himself like a scared child. “I don’t like it. Plus Cas has a point, no matter how much I want to look into it, none of us would be allowed on the case ‘cause we’re too close to it. And we have to be invited in to look into it.”
Raising one hand to his mouth he chewed on the first available nail, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The silence in the room was agitating him more than he would like. Enough so that he jumped like a terrified animal when Cas took Dean’s hand in his, pulling it from his mouth. His eyes were still on Jo and Sam even as he held his friend’s hand, trying his best to prevent him from tearing away any more nails.
“I know we cannot convince you to not at least try to get into the force, but please...think it over at least. And talk with your parents. You have a future as a lawyer too...” his thumb brushed across the back of Dean’s hand as he said this, almost like he was reassuring him that he was there, and that he would be okay.
With everything said and done, Cas pulled Dean from the room quickly, not giving Sam enough time to say anything more. To argue his case more. Though Dean doubted he would. Both brothers’ were too broken up about the past week. They only had so much fight in them.
Cas moved him outside and around a corner before falling back against a wall, pulling Dean in close to rest his head against the other man’s chest. His fingers curled in the younger ones hair, running through the short strands in an attempt at comfort as Dean grasped at the other’s shirt, hands fisting in the fabric. His eyes closed, taking whatever he could get. Just enjoying the sound of the others heartbeat in his ears. A small comfort, but a comfort all the same.
Especially with his mind playing images of Sam getting caught in the line of fire. Dying in his arms, with Dean unable to do anything to save him.
Just the thought brought him close to losing his breakfast...
It tossed about, aching to the point where he felt like wrapping his arms around his chest to contain himself. He had to do everything the counselors had taught him to keep himself from hurling. His heart raced in his chest, hands shaking, sweating just at the thought of Sam getting hurt. He could not let that happen. Sam was supposed to stay safe. Live a happy life with some girl...
“Breathe Dean...just breathe. Do you want me to get your medications?”
Freezing at those words, he looked into Castiel’s eyes that were full of concern. “No! ...Please no...Sam doesn’t know...” He had been taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications for some time. Along with a sedative for his attacks. He did not want Sam to know how fucked up his big brother really was.
How much of a mess he had become.
“Let’s just...go back to the hotel. I need to relax...we have to get back to work soon and...I just need to take a break. Our flight is the day after tomorrow right?” he pulled back from the other, brushing himself off and wiping at his eyes. Trying to make it look like the fit had not just happened. Even if his heart was still beating like the wings of a hummingbird in his chest.
“Bright and early. So we’ll need to be ready to head to the airport. Sam will likely be heading back to Lawrence with your parents. Jo will be coming to the office with us. I just want to spend some time with Jimmy tomorrow. He’s got to go back home with Amelia since they have a daughter now.” His smile after saying that is a fond one.
“Claire right?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about her on the way to the hotel? I haven’t gotten to see her yet.” He gives Cas a weak curl of lips. The barest of smiles but it is something. Even if it does not reach his eyes.
The other rolls with it, talking animatedly about the baby his brother and sister in-law recently had. How she is quiet as a mouse most of the time unless she needs something. How Jimmy has a picture of her little hand around his finger. Apparently the little girl already had Jimmy around her pinkie though Cas’ twin did not mind.
His mood eased as the time passed though he was still tense. Worried about Sam and what he was going to do. What he had planned. It was not like he could stop him. Sam was a grown man now...He was not some kid who he could just rat out to Mom and Dad. If he wanted to he would do it.
Leaving Dean helpless when he finally went into the field.
Once back at the hotel room they would be sharing for the next two nights he let out a sigh as he sat down on his bed, just staring ahead at the television. Cas was still talking about his brother, sister-in-law, and their new daughter. His voice a pleasant hum in Dean’s ear, keeping him distracted. With everything going on he needed it honestly. Needed to hear someone. To be grounded. Cared for.
Closing his eyes he fell back on the bed, not opening them when he felt the mattress sink next to him as Cas sat down. Nor when the calloused fingers brushed his hair back combing through the mess of brown hair. “You have your medications with you right? I can ask room service to get us something to drink if you’d like...non-alcoholic obviously. We can save that for another time.” His tone was playful, Dean could tell Cas was smiling teasingly without even looking.
“I’m going to guess some form of juice since you’re Mothering me right now.” He gave a small smile in return, finally opening his eyes as he looked into Cas’, his breath catching in his throat at how close the other was.
Close enough that he could feel the other man’s breath on his skin and the weight of him shifting next to him. How his body seemed to be pressed against Dean’s, firm and strong. The same body Dean had dreams of. Wanting Cas to hold him up against a wall and fuck him raw, so hard that Dean’s throat would be sore from screaming Cas’ name.
Desires he has to push aside. What he has now with Cas…it is good enough. The other man does not want him, he is sure of that. Plus Cas is his best friend. He does not want to ruin it with a relationship that might end up a failure…What if they end up hating each other after dating? Yeah they live together already, two bachelors living the high life as agents. But…as a couple?
“Yes juice. You need to take your pills. You also need to eat for that matter. When was the last time you had a good meal, hmm?” Cas’ smile is wide, showing his teeth as he climbs back off the bed to go call room service.
Leaving Dean to let out a relieved breath. If Cas had kept leaning into his personal space he might find out just how much Dean needed to get laid…Exactly what Dean had been hiding since that day they kissed when they were kids.
“Make it apple or orange then…And if you’re ordering food, can you please see if they have pie as well? Yeah it’s not as good as Mom’s, but fuck, I haven’t had pie in too long…Think they offer steak dinner?” He pushes himself up to rest on his elbows, head lolling to the side as he watches his friend look over the menu available to them.
His answer is a simple nod, moving back to the bed with the phone between his ear and shoulder. Handing the menu to Dean, he points to the steak burgers the in hotel restaurant offers before speaking with room service. As Dean read from the menu Cas began to pace, reciting off their order. Checking what drinks they had and offering Dean some form of vodka and juice mix since his doctor had said he could have a little bit of alcohol with his medications.
Once given a nod in answer he finished up the order, setting the phone back down and sitting with Dean. “It’ll be up in half an hour. A little longer maybe as I made sure the steaks are well done. Don’t want either of us getting food poisoning.”
“A death in the family, and then food poisoning. Along with my brother wanting to become an agent. That would make for quite the vacation huh?” he laughs bitterly, head thrown back with eyes closed.
“Don’t think on it too hard. Just lay back and relax. I’ll see if they have anything available on ‘on demand’. Should be some movies out we can watch. Or a TV show for that matter. I think I have the last few episodes of Castle available on my laptop if you’d like to watch that along with dinner.”
As he moved to go find the remote Dean shot up, grabbing his arm. “Wait! Castle? Him and Beckett get together finally in the finale right? We need to see that! Dude get your laptop!”
Laughing he did as told too happily. “You’re too invested in those two.”
Dean just scowled in response. “I saw spoilers about them breaking up the rysposito monster. I want something good to happen at least. And if it’s my OTP that’s been thick with sexual tension for four fucking seasons becoming canon finally? So be it! And don’t you deny shipping it, I know you do! I saw that dirty caskett knotting fic you wrote!”
The other agent's face goes a deep red at that before he scowls back, “wait…Are you rysposito1979?!”
“…I admit to nothing.”
“Dean!”
Leaping quickly from the bed he runs for the bathroom, the suddenness leaving Cas startled enough to give Dean a head start. Laughing he locks himself in hearing Cas’ hands slam against the door a low growl following behind. “Damnit Dean! That was the filthiest response to a fic I have ever gotten you know!”
“Gotten is not a word! And I know! You should have seen your face man! It was priceless! I think I even got a pic of it too!” he’s grinning to himself, back against the door the noises Cas was making going straight to his groin.
“I swear Dean Ross Winchester one of these days.”
“The day you get the upper hand on me is the day I parade around in satiny pink lingerie and hand my man card to Jo.”
“One of these days Winchester. One of these days. Now take a fuckin’ shower, piss, shit, whatever it is you need to do in there. Though Father above I swear if I hear you jerking it in there I am recording it and sharing just how vocal you are with the entire BAU.”
“…You wouldn’t.”
“I bet Victor Heinricksen would love to know his ex is still a screamer.”
“Fine you prude!”
Blushing, he could almost hear the smirk in Cas’ voice. Just the tone of it told him Cas knew he had Dean cornered.
Though Cas did not know just how practiced Dean was in keeping himself quiet when he was jerking it…Or he did and did not mention it. Whatever. The embarrassing thing was that Cas actually knew Dean was loud.
Stripping he sighed to himself, wincing as he pulled his jacket off his left shoulder, then his clothes. He knew that Cas knew, but it was still embarrassing to think that his friend had heard those things. His friend that he would rather be the one fucking him. But that was a thing best left to jerk off fantasies.
Looking at himself in the mirror, his eyes focused on his scarred and mangled left shoulder. Where traces of Cas’ skin were likely still imprinted in the handprint burned into his shoulder. Where Cas had used his body to shield Dean’s in the explosion.
Closing his eyes he covered the handprint with his own, a low breath leaving him. His friend had mangled his right hand beyond recognition for him. He could still feel the phantom pain of the fire on his skin. The touch of Cas as he covered Dean’s body with his own. How he was sort of glad their bodies had mostly shielded Jo and Bela from it all.
They were rookies. They should not have had to face all that. Not for their first field case…
Tracing his fingers along the less severe burn scars along his left arm he just closed his eyes. Thankful that this was the worst of it. Even if he would take Cas’ scarred up right hand, and arm along with his scarred back if he could.
Blinking the tears from his eyes he looked to the standing shower. Relieve himself, shower, jerk it off, then go face the music and watch some TV with Cas.
Sounded like a good end to a stressful day.
Smiling to himself he stripped the rest of the way before going about his business. Once in the shower he turned the water and went to work. Licking his lips slowly he pressed his forehead to the shower wall, hands tracing over his body. His eyes fluttered closed as the warm spray trickled over his skin, breath hot as he squirmed, fingers brushing over peaked nipples. It was on the tip of his tongue to moan Cas’ name.
If he could he would damn well scream it.
Scream it loud enough that his throat was raw. That Cas would need to gag him just to keep him quiet. Or fuck his mouth. Put Dean’s lips to good use and let him taste the very thing he had been longing to taste for too long. Just the thought of him pounding his thickness in and out of Dean’s mouth. How he would fill him up, and make Dean drink it all when he had finally come. Then pull out leaving Dean’s lips plump and fucked out.
It was the stuff made of wet dreams that had Dean leaking precome over the shower wall.
Biting back a whine he rested one hand on the wall.
The other ventured behind him. Teasing fingers along his crack, slipping between the cheeks to press at his entrance. He had not felt a cock inside him in god knows how long. Come to think of it…he had not been laid in forever. That would have to change.
Letting the water of the shower lubricate him enough he begun to push one finger in. It was not enough. Never enough. It made it worse that Cas was just on the other side of the room.
That if Dean had enough balls he could climb into the other man’s lap and beg him to fuck his brains out.
Letting out a heavy breath he pressed another finger in, hips rocking back into it as his other hand dragged down the shower wall. He just imagined it was Cas doing this. Touching him intimately. Telling him not to touch his cock. Just feel it.
Or better yet commanding Dean to give him a show. Get himself nice and read with his fingers so he could be taken nice and hard by Cas’ cock. Spread his cheeks wide and stretch his hole obscenely as his friend watched telling Dean how slutty he looked. How loose his hole was, eager for a dick to be inside of him.
He had to close his eyes tight the hand against the shower wall fisting, trying not to hit it and alarm Cas. It took everything in him just not to reach down and fist his aching hardness. Finger himself like some slut as he jerked his cock to mental images of his best friend naked.
Naked and spread out waiting for him…beckoning Dean over with one finger to slip into his lap. Ride him nice and slow until both were breathless and needing. Covered in sweat from their fucking.
Breathing hard through his nose he dug his teeth into his bottom lip, viciously fucking himself with his fingers. Jamming them in hard and fast as he bucked against the wall. Cock rubbing against it, precome dripping from his length as he got closer to his climax. The fantasies doing enough to get him almost over the edge.
“Cas…Cas…please…” the words came out low and breathless, his bite-swollen lips pressed to the wall as he bucked. Hoping the shower was enough to mask his words from the others keen ears.
Hearing curses from the other in the other room he imagined it was Cas seeing Dean spread out. Begging the man to take him.
It was enough to bring him to the edge. To drive him to the peak without even touching his cock, come smeared over the wall of the shower leaving Dean breathless as he rested against the wall. The other man’s name on his lips as he closed his eyes.
It was followed by a broken mix of a laugh and a sob, fingers dragging along the wall a slight squeaking noise made by flesh on rubber.
“I love you…” it was whispered to no one in particular, though he knew who the words were meant for.
Just like only he would know that under the spray in that shower tears fell from his eyes. Longing for something that seemed out of reach.
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