(no subject)
Now that I've had a week to think, I has a list of
Resolutions
o1. First and fucking FOREMOST, keep up with Project 365 this year. This is the most important.
o2. Get back in shape, and lose the 10-15 pounds I put on once I started being more social and thus, drinking more. It's like the "Freshman 15" except I just happened to get it four years late. I think that's it, but they also say that you put weight on when you enter a serious relationship, so. IDK. I know I'm in the healthy/"normal" weight bracket for my height but I weigh more than my normal frame, what I'm used to, and where I feel confident, so.
o3. Be better about blogging and perhaps start a couple more distinct/themed blogs (film reviews, etc, idk)
o4. Get a bitchin' personal website up that doesn't just have photography, but pieces of me - writing samples, editing reels, etc. that I can put on one business card and hand out to anyone who wants to hire me for anything, not just photos.
o5. Get better at responding to emails in a timely manner.
~Bonus~ o6. Shoot something bigger and awesomer, like a Cirque show or Comic-Con. I have connections at both through friends so it's not an entirely obnoxious goal, it's just a matter of shit working out and/or me pushing accordingly.
Not gonna lie, probably not all of these are going to actually happen. I'm not used to doing resolutions at all because I've always been pretty happy and self-forgiving lol.
Project 365 - Weekly round-up.
I've decided that instead of cross-posting here every single day, that every Saturday (lol I started this entry yesterday) I'm going to post a collage of thumbnails for that week's photos. If any of them spark you, the collage will click-through to the album. I posted the first three for this week, so here are the final four:
Life
→ My dad and his mother had me and my sister for dinner on Thursday, he made us burgers and homemade fries and they are my absolute fave. He made me a drink, I wanted vodka and juice but they didn't have regular juice so he took a juice box, squeezed it out, and then gave it to me WITH THE TINY STRAW hanging off of the glass. I died. We watched Tosh 2.0 and a Sammy Hagar concert and then got into a fight about politics because he's a republican (even though I don't get why, honestly - not knocking republicans in general, but I can't believe he wouldn't vote democrat because I feel like it'd only benefit him, with his specific situations and his life issues) and I'm a democrat. He got on me because I was ~uninformed~ and ~falling into the trap~, all "that's what they WANT you to think!" about everything even though I admitted that I wasn't knowledgeable enough in terms of statistics and sources and dates and shit to argue this as effectively as I'd like to but that I'm not stupid. I wasn't mad, I enjoyed the discussion and have always genuinely enjoyed debate. One thing that struck me was how lucid, intelligent, and well-spoken he was about this stuff, even AFTER drinking a lot (we talked until 3am). Like... just imagine what he could do sober and if he actually put forth extra effort. I don't know.
He also told the story of how he met our mother - a ways in I turned on my laptop audio recorder because I feel like that might be something I want to have someday, even though they divorced. "So yeah... your mom picked up the DJ." He told a story about how he was DJ'ing at [insert bar here] and she like, ~followed~ him there (after they'd already kind of started dating). I dated a DJ a couple of years ago, and I picked him up at that same bar. It's just so weird to think about. He said he's been having dreams lately where his feet are stuck in mud and he can't move. "I used to have dreams where I was flying. I want to have those again." He said it with a smile but it completely broke my heart.
→ My neighbors (and also my sister) are so fucking loud, they disrupt my sleep and that's a lot of the reason I've been so pissy this past week or two, I think, but especially this past week. Because when I'm at home, they constantly wake me up, and when I'm at Jason's, he talks in his sleep now. Like the other night, we were asleep and I rolled over and he was like, "OMG WHAT'S WRONG." I was like, nothing. "ARE YOU OKAY?" Um, yeah? "WHAT'S WRONG." I WANT TO SLEEP AGAIN. "Oh, okay." It's just klsjdfhlakhsfjkha. So the other day, Angela woke me up because she would not sit the fuck down. Constantly walking around in a circle. So I was pissy getting up and then I had to take my ~cable box~ back to ~Mediacom~ and before I went, I asked my mother which cords were theirs and which were ours, and she said all of them were ours. I went with no cords. The woman needed two of them. So I had to go all the way back home for their stupid fucking cords and I am so glad that is over with, I hate them.
→ Angela and I went to my mom's boyfriend's bar for dinner, we got in a fight in the car because she was bitching about traffic and I was like, "LOL duh, we left at 5" and she was like, "WELL *I* WANTED TO LEAVE AT 4:20, BUT *YOU* HAD TO DO THE MEDIACOM SHIT~!" and it's like she forgets that she benefited from cable and also that she never had to ever pay for any of it. We got there and they had an awesome new hot chocolate drink that had WHIPPED CREAM VODKA IN IT, which I had never had before, and holy SHIT it's amazing.
After dinner she started getting unreasonably impatient and like, yelled at me to finish my drink? My mom finally told her to calm down and let me enjoy it. They kind of got in a little fight about it before I said that Angela was just a straight-edge prude. And she was like, "WHATEVER, I HAD TWO DATES THIS WEEK!" and I was like, "Whatever, I had sex this week." My mom pipes up and says she'd rather have the dates (which is a total lie because she's a huge nympho, she was just saying it because while it's fine to rag on me all the time, we can't say anything bad against Angela). They proceed to laugh, I ignore it. The "Bitch »" that Angela had previously drawn on her sandwich box was turned to face me. Moar laughing, moar me being mature and ignoring it. Angela takes the box, writes "Butthurt" above "Bitch" and spins it back to me. They just die again. And it's amusing to me that it's SO fucking hilarious - someone being "butthurt" - until that person is Angela. I finally dish it as well with, "I could have ~two dates this week~ if I got dumped, too." And THAT, that was fucking unacceptable~ all of the sudden, but how long did they expect me to sit there and continue taking shit without retaliation, I already gave them way more time than old!me would have.
→ Went and saw The Devil Inside on Friday and I was totally disappointed? Which is The Worst because I was telling people that it was already the scariest movie I'd ever seen and I hadn't even seen it yet. I had heard from a friend that the ending was "abrupt", but shit. Also, if you've seen the trailer, you've already seen every single scary moment in the film, the rest of it is just talking and it's not even scary!talking. So many missed opportunities, I can't, I can't.
We went shopping, I picked out shorts and a couple of "warm" tops for LA. Jason picked out a checkered turquoise button-up that was a GREAT color for him and it was so cute because ever since he started buying "nice" or "work" clothes, I've picked them out or at least led him to things that would look nice and he did it all by himself, lol, ~growing up~. He also found a vest and I thought it was hot that he even wanted a dressy vest. He checked his bank account and his tax return came through, he got so excited and was like "LET'S BUY *ALL* THE THINGS!!!" and he bought me the CUTEST WHITE BUSINESS SUIT, I CAN'T, I CAN'T, IT'S A JACKET WITH SLEEVES THAT GO TO THE ELBOW, A PENCIL SKIRT, AND A DEEP PURPLE TOP TO GO UNDERNEATH. Someone who worked there stopped dead in their tracks when I came out of the dressing room, like he'd never seen it before or something, lol, and I just feel like a such badass in it. I almost want to interview for a job I can't even take just so I can wear it lol.
Resolutions
o1. First and fucking FOREMOST, keep up with Project 365 this year. This is the most important.
o2. Get back in shape, and lose the 10-15 pounds I put on once I started being more social and thus, drinking more. It's like the "Freshman 15" except I just happened to get it four years late. I think that's it, but they also say that you put weight on when you enter a serious relationship, so. IDK. I know I'm in the healthy/"normal" weight bracket for my height but I weigh more than my normal frame, what I'm used to, and where I feel confident, so.
o3. Be better about blogging and perhaps start a couple more distinct/themed blogs (film reviews, etc, idk)
o4. Get a bitchin' personal website up that doesn't just have photography, but pieces of me - writing samples, editing reels, etc. that I can put on one business card and hand out to anyone who wants to hire me for anything, not just photos.
o5. Get better at responding to emails in a timely manner.
~Bonus~ o6. Shoot something bigger and awesomer, like a Cirque show or Comic-Con. I have connections at both through friends so it's not an entirely obnoxious goal, it's just a matter of shit working out and/or me pushing accordingly.
Not gonna lie, probably not all of these are going to actually happen. I'm not used to doing resolutions at all because I've always been pretty happy and self-forgiving lol.
Project 365 - Weekly round-up.
I've decided that instead of cross-posting here every single day, that every Saturday (lol I started this entry yesterday) I'm going to post a collage of thumbnails for that week's photos. If any of them spark you, the collage will click-through to the album. I posted the first three for this week, so here are the final four:
Life
→ My dad and his mother had me and my sister for dinner on Thursday, he made us burgers and homemade fries and they are my absolute fave. He made me a drink, I wanted vodka and juice but they didn't have regular juice so he took a juice box, squeezed it out, and then gave it to me WITH THE TINY STRAW hanging off of the glass. I died. We watched Tosh 2.0 and a Sammy Hagar concert and then got into a fight about politics because he's a republican (even though I don't get why, honestly - not knocking republicans in general, but I can't believe he wouldn't vote democrat because I feel like it'd only benefit him, with his specific situations and his life issues) and I'm a democrat. He got on me because I was ~uninformed~ and ~falling into the trap~, all "that's what they WANT you to think!" about everything even though I admitted that I wasn't knowledgeable enough in terms of statistics and sources and dates and shit to argue this as effectively as I'd like to but that I'm not stupid. I wasn't mad, I enjoyed the discussion and have always genuinely enjoyed debate. One thing that struck me was how lucid, intelligent, and well-spoken he was about this stuff, even AFTER drinking a lot (we talked until 3am). Like... just imagine what he could do sober and if he actually put forth extra effort. I don't know.
He also told the story of how he met our mother - a ways in I turned on my laptop audio recorder because I feel like that might be something I want to have someday, even though they divorced. "So yeah... your mom picked up the DJ." He told a story about how he was DJ'ing at [insert bar here] and she like, ~followed~ him there (after they'd already kind of started dating). I dated a DJ a couple of years ago, and I picked him up at that same bar. It's just so weird to think about. He said he's been having dreams lately where his feet are stuck in mud and he can't move. "I used to have dreams where I was flying. I want to have those again." He said it with a smile but it completely broke my heart.
→ My neighbors (and also my sister) are so fucking loud, they disrupt my sleep and that's a lot of the reason I've been so pissy this past week or two, I think, but especially this past week. Because when I'm at home, they constantly wake me up, and when I'm at Jason's, he talks in his sleep now. Like the other night, we were asleep and I rolled over and he was like, "OMG WHAT'S WRONG." I was like, nothing. "ARE YOU OKAY?" Um, yeah? "WHAT'S WRONG." I WANT TO SLEEP AGAIN. "Oh, okay." It's just klsjdfhlakhsfjkha. So the other day, Angela woke me up because she would not sit the fuck down. Constantly walking around in a circle. So I was pissy getting up and then I had to take my ~cable box~ back to ~Mediacom~ and before I went, I asked my mother which cords were theirs and which were ours, and she said all of them were ours. I went with no cords. The woman needed two of them. So I had to go all the way back home for their stupid fucking cords and I am so glad that is over with, I hate them.
→ Angela and I went to my mom's boyfriend's bar for dinner, we got in a fight in the car because she was bitching about traffic and I was like, "LOL duh, we left at 5" and she was like, "WELL *I* WANTED TO LEAVE AT 4:20, BUT *YOU* HAD TO DO THE MEDIACOM SHIT~!" and it's like she forgets that she benefited from cable and also that she never had to ever pay for any of it. We got there and they had an awesome new hot chocolate drink that had WHIPPED CREAM VODKA IN IT, which I had never had before, and holy SHIT it's amazing.
After dinner she started getting unreasonably impatient and like, yelled at me to finish my drink? My mom finally told her to calm down and let me enjoy it. They kind of got in a little fight about it before I said that Angela was just a straight-edge prude. And she was like, "WHATEVER, I HAD TWO DATES THIS WEEK!" and I was like, "Whatever, I had sex this week." My mom pipes up and says she'd rather have the dates (which is a total lie because she's a huge nympho, she was just saying it because while it's fine to rag on me all the time, we can't say anything bad against Angela). They proceed to laugh, I ignore it. The "Bitch »" that Angela had previously drawn on her sandwich box was turned to face me. Moar laughing, moar me being mature and ignoring it. Angela takes the box, writes "Butthurt" above "Bitch" and spins it back to me. They just die again. And it's amusing to me that it's SO fucking hilarious - someone being "butthurt" - until that person is Angela. I finally dish it as well with, "I could have ~two dates this week~ if I got dumped, too." And THAT, that was fucking unacceptable~ all of the sudden, but how long did they expect me to sit there and continue taking shit without retaliation, I already gave them way more time than old!me would have.
→ Went and saw The Devil Inside on Friday and I was totally disappointed? Which is The Worst because I was telling people that it was already the scariest movie I'd ever seen and I hadn't even seen it yet. I had heard from a friend that the ending was "abrupt", but shit. Also, if you've seen the trailer, you've already seen every single scary moment in the film, the rest of it is just talking and it's not even scary!talking. So many missed opportunities, I can't, I can't.
We went shopping, I picked out shorts and a couple of "warm" tops for LA. Jason picked out a checkered turquoise button-up that was a GREAT color for him and it was so cute because ever since he started buying "nice" or "work" clothes, I've picked them out or at least led him to things that would look nice and he did it all by himself, lol, ~growing up~. He also found a vest and I thought it was hot that he even wanted a dressy vest. He checked his bank account and his tax return came through, he got so excited and was like "LET'S BUY *ALL* THE THINGS!!!" and he bought me the CUTEST WHITE BUSINESS SUIT, I CAN'T, I CAN'T, IT'S A JACKET WITH SLEEVES THAT GO TO THE ELBOW, A PENCIL SKIRT, AND A DEEP PURPLE TOP TO GO UNDERNEATH. Someone who worked there stopped dead in their tracks when I came out of the dressing room, like he'd never seen it before or something, lol, and I just feel like a such badass in it. I almost want to interview for a job I can't even take just so I can wear it lol.