lol, Spam museum and themed birthday party
I really want to make an intro post but stuff keeps happening.
Yesterday, my uncle's (my mom's sister's husband) family rented a bus for his birthday - they picked their family up in Wisconsin, picked our family up here in Minnesota, and then drove everyone down to the Spam museum lol omg it was the best time. I've never eaten Spam but it has always amused me and has been the root of several in-jokes with iwant_sprinkles. So when my mother told me this plan and asked if I'd like to go, I was on it immediately, I love cute and quirky shit like that.
I met my grandma and mother at 9:15, got a bagel and drove to meet up with the bus. We had to pull over so my mom could throw up, it was disgusting and we still don't know why or what the deal was but we suspect she was carsick? IDK. But the bus was waiting in a mall parking lot, where we boarded and set out for my aunt & uncle's. He had no idea about ANY of this and he found out when we parked the bus in front of his house, hung signs out the windows and honked repeatedly. He came out in his sweatpants, confused as fuck, and all the kids went flying out. Their dog was going apeshit and LOL, I don't even know but it was so cute and amusing. We all got on the bus, and my god, everything they thought of and all the effort they put forth for their son's 40th birthday, these are the things I've been dying to see lately. The whole world used to look like that to me but it seems like lately I've only just seen the opposite - indifference, laziness, pettiness, etc. So it was more refreshing and more valuable to me than they probably knew.
Dave (uncle)'s dad kept talking into the mic and he's so funny and uninhibited, and they had all these activities planned - he had the kids pass out Brad (my uncle's actual name, lol) Bags to everyone. For our family functions, he and my aunt have shown up with what they call a Grab Bag, which is just a bag of random shit they've found around their house or bought from the dollar store, we always love it and now I know it comes from his family and not just them being a random, quirky couple lol. There was a flyer from the Spam museum inside, and a pencil. They passed out a How Well Do You Know Brad quiz, it was SO clever and funny, we all had to fill it out and they read the answers over the speakers. Then they passed out participation prizes, lol they were all random and weird and I got this book, which may actually be a cool read. They passed out a bunch of candy and Easter banners and lol, IDEK. Then they played a slideshow of my uncle growing up, it was so adorable and all of this just made me so happy.
There was a baby on the bus, she was so sweet and it broke my heart because they had her strapped in a car seat, sitting in a row all by herself. Seriously, her parents were all the way in the back, and she was like, up by herself with our family. She was so quiet and calm and apathetic and I didn't know if it was just her personality at first but she lit the fuck up when I waved at and played with her. It made me so sad to see how happy it made her just to get a little bit of attention. And her mom was SO fucking weird, I can never tell if I'm just being cynically paranoid lately or what, but it seemed like whenever I actually got up out of my seat to sit next to or in front of the baby, her mother would suddenly be aware of her existence and come get her. And I had my camera out, obviously, taking pictures of everyone and it was fine until I was taking a picture of the baby and her mom walked by and was like, "Oh, you take pictures?" It sounded condescending but I ignored the tone and just answered her, "Yeah! I'm a photographer!" And then she took her kid. It could be a coincidence, or it could be that she just doesn't want people taking pictures of her kid, which is FINE but she did that shit even when I didn't have a camera out. Seriously, it happened at least three more times.
Oh and then! I was playing with her and she dropped her squishy fishy so she got upset. I didn't want to give it back to her because it fell on a fucking BUS FLOOR, so she got a little fussy but it was fine. Then her mom walked by just as I was saying, "Oh no! Did you lose all your fishies?", and she was like, "No, she just saw me." LOL EXCEPT SHE WAS SAD ABOUT IT BEFORE SHE ~SAW YOU~, she was sad about it when you were, you know, out of sight in the back of the bus. You fucking WISH it was because she saw her mother. And it was bull because whenever my mom was playing with her, Amy (the mother) would thank her for it. I'm pretty intuitive when it comes to people and she had some fucking problem with me and I don't know what it was.
On the way back, baby's older brother came up to me and was like, "You can hold her if you want!" So I took her and she was totally fine, she was precious. My uncle eventually took her and she started to cry (probably because she was hungry - neither me nor my mother saw Amy feed her ALL fucking day, except for the time that she bit a cupcake, dropped it on the floor of a hotel lobby, and they let her keep eating it), so Amy came up and was like, "I can take her!" and Dave was like, "No, it's okay! If you're worried about it bothering me, it's not, she's okay." And Amy took her anyway... ONLY TO BUCKLE HER UP IN HER CAR SEAT AND WALK AWAY AGAIN! AND LEAVE HER THERE SCREAMING! ALONE! I CAN'T! I CAN'T EVEN, YOU GUYS! She has like 5 fucking kids! /sad part.
We got to the Spam museum and started by watching a short film about it, I had no idea it was such a popular thing lol. We went through to the rest of the place, and there was a Spam woman wandering around with free samples. I was way too scared to grab one but I bit a small corner off of my mom's. It wasn't completely disgusting, the taste was fine but the texture freaked me out and I would never buy or eat it, lol. It was quirky and fascinating though and we all had fun. PICTURES~
me & mi madre kissing ~Spammy~!
Spam samples, trololo
me wearing a Hormel suit like a badass | my grandparents, AREN'T THEY THE CUTEST.
doing a Spam race, you had to make, bake, and assemble faux!Spam on a timer lol lkjsafh.
radio room~
cute children everywhere
moar, MOAR!!11
My uncle's parents also rented a hotel room and reserved the pool for the afternoon, and when we got there, it was all decorated and full of food and drinks and it was just so sweet of them, I still can't get over it. They are so nice, I never see them, I think I've seen them twice in my entire life before this, but his mom especially is one of those people that I really get along with and want to be around. She was SO glad I came along even though she barely even knows me, she genuinely listened and when she was reading poems, she called me Sweet Alyssa and she is just so nice. ALSO, SPEAKING OF POEMS, THESE ARE MY POEMS~
There once was a lad called Brad,
who had a refined love of Spam.
It tasted quite swell,
life without it was hell,
and whenever Tree cooks it he's glad.
...
There is an old man named Dave,
and Spam is all he does crave.
He just turned forty,
Spam still exists - thank the Lordy!
Let's drive by the museum and wave.
It was so much fun. But anyway, we just hung out at the pool, they ordered pizzas, and then after that we had cake and it was shaped like a fucking Spam can. No, seriously, it was one of the most epic cakes I think I have ever seen.
SHUT UP SHUT UP.
On the way back, one of my uncle's nephews, Ben (age 6), was suddenly completely in love with me. I hadn't really been around or spoken to the kid all day, so I have no idea how he even knew my name, but I heard him say "Give this to Alyssa", "this" being Dave's big birthday hat. So I wore it, whatever, and then it just totally snowballed into this epic love tale. First he was projecting, teasing my uncle and being all, "You loooooveeeee Alyssa!" and there was a movie playing and he was like, "That's you kissing Alyssa!!1" It was so awkward and he like, would not let up. And lol, Dave said something to me at one point and Ben was like, "*GASP* YOU JUST TALKED TO A GIRL, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T!" and Dave was like, "I had to!" and I was like, "Yeah! I asked him a question!" and Ben turns to him and is like, "... you could have just ignored her." LOL. Dave used this as an opportunity to try to teach Ben how to both respect women and be unafraid of approaching them, it was SO cute to watch. AND THIS CHILD - he got a huge blue bank shaped like a Crayola crayon earlier, he hands it across the aisle and is like, "...You can have this." LIKE HE'S SIX AND HE ALREADY KNOWS TO GIVE WOMEN THINGS TO IMPRESS THEM.
He wanted to switch seats with my uncle, apparently, because I heard my uncle say, "Okay, you can sit next to her but you have to be respectful and you can't bug her, okay?" Ben crawled over Dave's lap to be a seat closer. And whenever I tried to talk to him, he just stared at me and didn't say anything lmao skfhjla. Dave had a beer and Ben was like, "Can I have a beer?" and Dave was like, lol no. Ben took the beer out of the cup holder, put his lips on the rim and was like, "YUCK!" Then, a few minutes later, Ben noticed *I* had a beer too. So he turned to Dave and was like, "I like beer." Dave was like, "No you don't." And Ben was like, "Yu-HUH, see?", DRANK SOME OF IT, and was like, "Yummy!" After Dave said he couldn't have anymore and got him a juice box instead, he was like, "I'm drinking beer..." Dave was like, "Is it apple juice-flavored?" And Ben was like, "Yeah." askljdfhasjklhfajh lmao lmao.
He decided to lay down and take a nap, and by that I mean he laid across the seats with his head dangling in the aisle, saying, "I'm dreeeeaming about Alyyyyyssssa" over and over and over again in a sing-song voice. I died a thousand deaths. THEN one of the other kids, Miles, came up. He's like 12. And his mom was like, "Alyssa *points* was at Uncle Brad and Aunt T's wedding, you were so small and she was dancing with you all night!" He was amused and laughed appropriately, because he's not socially awkward. He went somewhere else and then Ben decided he needed another nap, except this time he was like, "I'm dreaming about Alyssa... I'm dreaming about Miles kissing Alyssa", and it blew my mind how primitive and innate shit like jealousy and courting is. OH MY GOD AND THEN HE WAS TELLING DAVE - "Alyssa's a princess, she's Cinderella, she's Snow White!" IT WAS SO CUTE, I FEEL SO BAD THAT I'M OLD OR SOMETHING. It broke all of our hearts, oh my god.
Eventually he came to the seat behind me and I didn't know he was there until he started touching my hair. My mom was like, "She has pretty hair, doesn't she." And then once he'd been totally outed, lol, he told me I needed to cut it all off. "But Cinderella has long hair, and so does Snow White!" lol he was like, "But you need shorter hair. Like, bald." And then later he was laying on the floor of the bus, just touching my shoes and moving my foot around. He wrapped his sweatshirt arms around his face and was like, "AHHH, I'M BLIND! TOUCH MY FACE!" and then grabbed my hand and made me touch his face lol. And he was just talking and talking to my uncle, oh my god the worst part of all of this, it broke my heart, he said, "... I wish Alyssa was little like me." I literally almost cried, I felt so bad. Seriously, it was his whole tiny life for two hours straight.
The day as a whole was great and as I said before, it was so nice and refreshing to see all of the effort his parents went through and all the things they thought of, both big and small. Also it was super cute to see someone make a huge deal out of a birthday past the age of 21.
Yesterday, my uncle's (my mom's sister's husband) family rented a bus for his birthday - they picked their family up in Wisconsin, picked our family up here in Minnesota, and then drove everyone down to the Spam museum lol omg it was the best time. I've never eaten Spam but it has always amused me and has been the root of several in-jokes with iwant_sprinkles. So when my mother told me this plan and asked if I'd like to go, I was on it immediately, I love cute and quirky shit like that.
I met my grandma and mother at 9:15, got a bagel and drove to meet up with the bus. We had to pull over so my mom could throw up, it was disgusting and we still don't know why or what the deal was but we suspect she was carsick? IDK. But the bus was waiting in a mall parking lot, where we boarded and set out for my aunt & uncle's. He had no idea about ANY of this and he found out when we parked the bus in front of his house, hung signs out the windows and honked repeatedly. He came out in his sweatpants, confused as fuck, and all the kids went flying out. Their dog was going apeshit and LOL, I don't even know but it was so cute and amusing. We all got on the bus, and my god, everything they thought of and all the effort they put forth for their son's 40th birthday, these are the things I've been dying to see lately. The whole world used to look like that to me but it seems like lately I've only just seen the opposite - indifference, laziness, pettiness, etc. So it was more refreshing and more valuable to me than they probably knew.
Dave (uncle)'s dad kept talking into the mic and he's so funny and uninhibited, and they had all these activities planned - he had the kids pass out Brad (my uncle's actual name, lol) Bags to everyone. For our family functions, he and my aunt have shown up with what they call a Grab Bag, which is just a bag of random shit they've found around their house or bought from the dollar store, we always love it and now I know it comes from his family and not just them being a random, quirky couple lol. There was a flyer from the Spam museum inside, and a pencil. They passed out a How Well Do You Know Brad quiz, it was SO clever and funny, we all had to fill it out and they read the answers over the speakers. Then they passed out participation prizes, lol they were all random and weird and I got this book, which may actually be a cool read. They passed out a bunch of candy and Easter banners and lol, IDEK. Then they played a slideshow of my uncle growing up, it was so adorable and all of this just made me so happy.
There was a baby on the bus, she was so sweet and it broke my heart because they had her strapped in a car seat, sitting in a row all by herself. Seriously, her parents were all the way in the back, and she was like, up by herself with our family. She was so quiet and calm and apathetic and I didn't know if it was just her personality at first but she lit the fuck up when I waved at and played with her. It made me so sad to see how happy it made her just to get a little bit of attention. And her mom was SO fucking weird, I can never tell if I'm just being cynically paranoid lately or what, but it seemed like whenever I actually got up out of my seat to sit next to or in front of the baby, her mother would suddenly be aware of her existence and come get her. And I had my camera out, obviously, taking pictures of everyone and it was fine until I was taking a picture of the baby and her mom walked by and was like, "Oh, you take pictures?" It sounded condescending but I ignored the tone and just answered her, "Yeah! I'm a photographer!" And then she took her kid. It could be a coincidence, or it could be that she just doesn't want people taking pictures of her kid, which is FINE but she did that shit even when I didn't have a camera out. Seriously, it happened at least three more times.
Oh and then! I was playing with her and she dropped her squishy fishy so she got upset. I didn't want to give it back to her because it fell on a fucking BUS FLOOR, so she got a little fussy but it was fine. Then her mom walked by just as I was saying, "Oh no! Did you lose all your fishies?", and she was like, "No, she just saw me." LOL EXCEPT SHE WAS SAD ABOUT IT BEFORE SHE ~SAW YOU~, she was sad about it when you were, you know, out of sight in the back of the bus. You fucking WISH it was because she saw her mother. And it was bull because whenever my mom was playing with her, Amy (the mother) would thank her for it. I'm pretty intuitive when it comes to people and she had some fucking problem with me and I don't know what it was.
On the way back, baby's older brother came up to me and was like, "You can hold her if you want!" So I took her and she was totally fine, she was precious. My uncle eventually took her and she started to cry (probably because she was hungry - neither me nor my mother saw Amy feed her ALL fucking day, except for the time that she bit a cupcake, dropped it on the floor of a hotel lobby, and they let her keep eating it), so Amy came up and was like, "I can take her!" and Dave was like, "No, it's okay! If you're worried about it bothering me, it's not, she's okay." And Amy took her anyway... ONLY TO BUCKLE HER UP IN HER CAR SEAT AND WALK AWAY AGAIN! AND LEAVE HER THERE SCREAMING! ALONE! I CAN'T! I CAN'T EVEN, YOU GUYS! She has like 5 fucking kids! /sad part.
We got to the Spam museum and started by watching a short film about it, I had no idea it was such a popular thing lol. We went through to the rest of the place, and there was a Spam woman wandering around with free samples. I was way too scared to grab one but I bit a small corner off of my mom's. It wasn't completely disgusting, the taste was fine but the texture freaked me out and I would never buy or eat it, lol. It was quirky and fascinating though and we all had fun. PICTURES~
me & mi madre kissing ~Spammy~!
Spam samples, trololo
me wearing a Hormel suit like a badass | my grandparents, AREN'T THEY THE CUTEST.
doing a Spam race, you had to make, bake, and assemble faux!Spam on a timer lol lkjsafh.
radio room~
cute children everywhere
moar, MOAR!!11
My uncle's parents also rented a hotel room and reserved the pool for the afternoon, and when we got there, it was all decorated and full of food and drinks and it was just so sweet of them, I still can't get over it. They are so nice, I never see them, I think I've seen them twice in my entire life before this, but his mom especially is one of those people that I really get along with and want to be around. She was SO glad I came along even though she barely even knows me, she genuinely listened and when she was reading poems, she called me Sweet Alyssa and she is just so nice. ALSO, SPEAKING OF POEMS, THESE ARE MY POEMS~
There once was a lad called Brad,
who had a refined love of Spam.
It tasted quite swell,
life without it was hell,
and whenever Tree cooks it he's glad.
...
There is an old man named Dave,
and Spam is all he does crave.
He just turned forty,
Spam still exists - thank the Lordy!
Let's drive by the museum and wave.
It was so much fun. But anyway, we just hung out at the pool, they ordered pizzas, and then after that we had cake and it was shaped like a fucking Spam can. No, seriously, it was one of the most epic cakes I think I have ever seen.
SHUT UP SHUT UP.
On the way back, one of my uncle's nephews, Ben (age 6), was suddenly completely in love with me. I hadn't really been around or spoken to the kid all day, so I have no idea how he even knew my name, but I heard him say "Give this to Alyssa", "this" being Dave's big birthday hat. So I wore it, whatever, and then it just totally snowballed into this epic love tale. First he was projecting, teasing my uncle and being all, "You loooooveeeee Alyssa!" and there was a movie playing and he was like, "That's you kissing Alyssa!!1" It was so awkward and he like, would not let up. And lol, Dave said something to me at one point and Ben was like, "*GASP* YOU JUST TALKED TO A GIRL, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T!" and Dave was like, "I had to!" and I was like, "Yeah! I asked him a question!" and Ben turns to him and is like, "... you could have just ignored her." LOL. Dave used this as an opportunity to try to teach Ben how to both respect women and be unafraid of approaching them, it was SO cute to watch. AND THIS CHILD - he got a huge blue bank shaped like a Crayola crayon earlier, he hands it across the aisle and is like, "...You can have this." LIKE HE'S SIX AND HE ALREADY KNOWS TO GIVE WOMEN THINGS TO IMPRESS THEM.
He wanted to switch seats with my uncle, apparently, because I heard my uncle say, "Okay, you can sit next to her but you have to be respectful and you can't bug her, okay?" Ben crawled over Dave's lap to be a seat closer. And whenever I tried to talk to him, he just stared at me and didn't say anything lmao skfhjla. Dave had a beer and Ben was like, "Can I have a beer?" and Dave was like, lol no. Ben took the beer out of the cup holder, put his lips on the rim and was like, "YUCK!" Then, a few minutes later, Ben noticed *I* had a beer too. So he turned to Dave and was like, "I like beer." Dave was like, "No you don't." And Ben was like, "Yu-HUH, see?", DRANK SOME OF IT, and was like, "Yummy!" After Dave said he couldn't have anymore and got him a juice box instead, he was like, "I'm drinking beer..." Dave was like, "Is it apple juice-flavored?" And Ben was like, "Yeah." askljdfhasjklhfajh lmao lmao.
He decided to lay down and take a nap, and by that I mean he laid across the seats with his head dangling in the aisle, saying, "I'm dreeeeaming about Alyyyyyssssa" over and over and over again in a sing-song voice. I died a thousand deaths. THEN one of the other kids, Miles, came up. He's like 12. And his mom was like, "Alyssa *points* was at Uncle Brad and Aunt T's wedding, you were so small and she was dancing with you all night!" He was amused and laughed appropriately, because he's not socially awkward. He went somewhere else and then Ben decided he needed another nap, except this time he was like, "I'm dreaming about Alyssa... I'm dreaming about Miles kissing Alyssa", and it blew my mind how primitive and innate shit like jealousy and courting is. OH MY GOD AND THEN HE WAS TELLING DAVE - "Alyssa's a princess, she's Cinderella, she's Snow White!" IT WAS SO CUTE, I FEEL SO BAD THAT I'M OLD OR SOMETHING. It broke all of our hearts, oh my god.
Eventually he came to the seat behind me and I didn't know he was there until he started touching my hair. My mom was like, "She has pretty hair, doesn't she." And then once he'd been totally outed, lol, he told me I needed to cut it all off. "But Cinderella has long hair, and so does Snow White!" lol he was like, "But you need shorter hair. Like, bald." And then later he was laying on the floor of the bus, just touching my shoes and moving my foot around. He wrapped his sweatshirt arms around his face and was like, "AHHH, I'M BLIND! TOUCH MY FACE!" and then grabbed my hand and made me touch his face lol. And he was just talking and talking to my uncle, oh my god the worst part of all of this, it broke my heart, he said, "... I wish Alyssa was little like me." I literally almost cried, I felt so bad. Seriously, it was his whole tiny life for two hours straight.
The day as a whole was great and as I said before, it was so nice and refreshing to see all of the effort his parents went through and all the things they thought of, both big and small. Also it was super cute to see someone make a huge deal out of a birthday past the age of 21.