All Things are Relative: (Remus/Sirius...sort of, MWPP, PG...sort of.)
All Things are Relative:
(A/N to follow.)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Clearly.
"Sirius, what are you doing?"
"Putting it in, what'd you think I was doing?" Sirius seemed annoyed at the interruption by Remus. Sirius knew that Remus was probably cleverer, but that didn't mean he had to go about second-guessing Sirius's every move.
"It doesn't bloody well go in there!" Remus said in a panicked voice. Sirius reached around Remus to point at the leaflet that was open in front of the two boys.
"Yes it does! Look at the diagram right there."
"That is not a proper diagram. You drew it yourself and stuck it in."
"...So? Look, Moony, if we're going to do this, we have to do it right."
"I wholeheartedly agree, Sirius, so that is why you are not sticking it in."
"Where's James anyway? He would agree with me." Sirius said, looking around wildly.
"OH NO. That wanker is not going to stick his wand in either. Sirius. Keep your bloody wand out of the- Oh god. What have you done?" Remus stared into the bowl with an expression of horror on his face.
"Moony, I am just stirring the cake. It says right there 'stir gently until ingredients are well mixed.'"
"With your WAND? Sirius, I know where that thing has been! Peter's our mate, it's not on to make him a cake that probably is unfit to eat now that your wand has been in there."
"Well do you see one of those little whisker things anywhere? No. And this was your sodding idea anyway, I am here under duress. And I resent your implications that my wand is unclean. It is a very clean wand. I washed it yesterday."
"Before, or after you slobbered on it as Padfoot?"
"...Oh."
"And I am right again. Honestly, if you would just listen to- EW. SIRIUS."
"What?" Sirius looked at Remus innocently.
"I'll what you!" Remus glared, dripping with cake batter, and then launched himself at Sirius.
***
When James found them, it could not be said that the two boys were not in a compromising position while both completely covered in cake batter.
"Oy, you two, I thought we were making a cake for Wormtail, not having a cake wrestling match."
"He started it," Remus grinned, and wiped a smudge of cake batter of his face.
"It's his fault," Sirius said, licking Moony's arm. "Mmm, tasty."
James just buried his face in his hands and shook his head.
THE END!
A/N: Written for doredy on the occasion of her 21st birthday. Written while I was at work, which also made her proclaim that I am a horrible person. Only just now got around to archiving the story. She has also later made stick-figure fanart for her own birthday story, which I will scan and include here. BECAUSE IT IS THAT AWESOME. And there may well be a sequel, because I have fanart for that too. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
A/N (02.03.07): Clearly, I was still insane from the pirate dream writing.
(A/N to follow.)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Clearly.
"Sirius, what are you doing?"
"Putting it in, what'd you think I was doing?" Sirius seemed annoyed at the interruption by Remus. Sirius knew that Remus was probably cleverer, but that didn't mean he had to go about second-guessing Sirius's every move.
"It doesn't bloody well go in there!" Remus said in a panicked voice. Sirius reached around Remus to point at the leaflet that was open in front of the two boys.
"Yes it does! Look at the diagram right there."
"That is not a proper diagram. You drew it yourself and stuck it in."
"...So? Look, Moony, if we're going to do this, we have to do it right."
"I wholeheartedly agree, Sirius, so that is why you are not sticking it in."
"Where's James anyway? He would agree with me." Sirius said, looking around wildly.
"OH NO. That wanker is not going to stick his wand in either. Sirius. Keep your bloody wand out of the- Oh god. What have you done?" Remus stared into the bowl with an expression of horror on his face.
"Moony, I am just stirring the cake. It says right there 'stir gently until ingredients are well mixed.'"
"With your WAND? Sirius, I know where that thing has been! Peter's our mate, it's not on to make him a cake that probably is unfit to eat now that your wand has been in there."
"Well do you see one of those little whisker things anywhere? No. And this was your sodding idea anyway, I am here under duress. And I resent your implications that my wand is unclean. It is a very clean wand. I washed it yesterday."
"Before, or after you slobbered on it as Padfoot?"
"...Oh."
"And I am right again. Honestly, if you would just listen to- EW. SIRIUS."
"What?" Sirius looked at Remus innocently.
"I'll what you!" Remus glared, dripping with cake batter, and then launched himself at Sirius.
***
When James found them, it could not be said that the two boys were not in a compromising position while both completely covered in cake batter.
"Oy, you two, I thought we were making a cake for Wormtail, not having a cake wrestling match."
"He started it," Remus grinned, and wiped a smudge of cake batter of his face.
"It's his fault," Sirius said, licking Moony's arm. "Mmm, tasty."
James just buried his face in his hands and shook his head.
THE END!
A/N: Written for doredy on the occasion of her 21st birthday. Written while I was at work, which also made her proclaim that I am a horrible person. Only just now got around to archiving the story. She has also later made stick-figure fanart for her own birthday story, which I will scan and include here. BECAUSE IT IS THAT AWESOME. And there may well be a sequel, because I have fanart for that too. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
A/N (02.03.07): Clearly, I was still insane from the pirate dream writing.