All Things in Due Time (All Things are CAKEFUL): (Remus/Sirius/CAKE, MWPP, PG.)
All Things in Due Time: (or all things are cakeful)
Sequel, of sorts, to All Things are Relative.
A/N at bottom.
Disclaimer: Still not mine.
"So why exactly are we baking a cake for James's birthday? He's never going to want to eat it."
"Of course he will," Sirius replied, flicking on the light switch on the oven and peering in.
"Padfoot, we practically had sex, rolling around in Wormtail's cake batter, and Prongs witnessed it. He's not going to want to eat anything we make ever again."
"Well, that's why Peter's here, innit? And it wasn't sex. It was manly wrestling. Honestly, Remus, you are a girl."
Peter looked up from the cookbook he was leafing through. "So that's why the cake tasted funny."
"Well, that or the fact that Sirius decided to use his wand in lieu of a whisk."
"Or it might have been all the firewhiskey you drank."
"Or the fact that neither of you can cook?" Peter grinned. "What'd you think about white chocolate icing then?" he said, pointing at a page in the cookbook.
"Looks good. Do you reckon James can handle all that chocolate though? He does get a bit..." Remus trailed off, giving Sirius a sideways glance.
"Remus, cupcake of my heart, there is nothing James loves more than chocolate. Except maybe Evans covered in chocolate. And since the redheaded harpy cruelly refused to listen to my plans to make her a bikini out of chocolate frosting and then jump out of this cake, the white chocolate icing will have to do." Sirius said, clapping Remus on the back.
"Should've let me ask her. She might have agreed to carry the cake to him, at least."
"What, and risk her throwing it on him? No. Even if she would've agreed because of her enormous lust for you and your jumpers and your books and your mooniness, it is not worth losing you to her siren call. Then I would have two friends who are completely around the twist, and only poor Peter to listen to my romance woes."
"You, the great Sirius Black, have romance woes? Impossible."
"The great love of my life won't agree to go out with me. I call those woes." Sirius said, looking balefully, or perhaps longingly, (impossible to tell with those Blacks) at Remus.
"Sirius, I hardly think that McGonagall refusing to go out with you is a woe. Entirely appropriate, but not a woe. Peter. Peter, where are you going? Why are you leaving me alone with this madman?" Remus despaired as Peter tried to sneak out of the kitchens.
"I've a study date with Helen, Remus. The frosting's on the counter, and wait an hour to frost the cake after you've pulled the cake out."
"Is that that Hufflepuff with the big knockers? Spot on Wormtail!" Sirius grinned.
"You already made the frosting? That was fast." Remus remarked.
"Yes, well, anything goes fast when you two are flirting and you've a Hufflepuff with big knockers to get to."
Remus blushed faintly. "I was not... Oh for heaven's sake, just go. I'll manage this berk here." He said calmly, picking up the frosting bowl to move it away from Sirius who was eying it in a manner that could be called lustful.
"Make sure there's still a cake for tonight, Moony. Because lord knows we haven't got an Evans for him."
"I resent these implications on my character. I am perfectly capable of handling myself around cakes."
"But are you around frosting?" Peter grinned, and slipped out the door.
"I resent those implications on my character." Sirius sulked, repeating himself, as Remus set down the bowl of frosting to switch off the oven timer. He watched as Remus slipped on the oven mitts and set about taking the cake in the oven.
"Have you got a toothpick over there Pads? And Peter can hardly be blamed for speaking the truth. I wouldn't trust you with frosting farther than I could-" Remus stopped, picking up the bowl of frosting to move it farther away from Sirius.
"Toothpick?" Sirius grinned, holding out a frosting covered finger.
A/N: Peter. Oh man. Peter. I might have to defend his characterization. Let's just say that I've suspected that he is not completely worthless for some time. I suspect a lot of his wussiness has to do with being around James and not quite being as awesome as the rest of the Marauders. But in baking, he is far superior, so obviously he is of the confidence there.
hahahahahahahahahaha I am still insane. Just look at this outtake:
"Never will another one of my friends be lost to the female sex. NO. There shall be no more tempting from succubi! Never again!"
This was originally in Sirius's speech about romance woes. Because he was supposed to be mad at Remus for not succumbing to his dubious charms even though he's never directly said anything about Remus being the love of his life. And you know, Remus likes the directness. But that didn't really work, because Sirius is not direct, and Remus still thinks the love of Sirius's life is McGonagall.
And having Remus suck the icing off Sirius's finger didn't really work either. SO. NO PORN FOR YOU.
We are all sad.
A/N 02.03.07: doredy drew me stick figure fanart for her birthday fic and then demanded a sequel. I told her to draw me something and I would write it. Hence the frosting finger porn. And the term. I am blaming her for this. SERIOUSLY.
She will probably just turn around and ask me where her marauder knitting story(porn) is if she ever reads this. I AM WORKING ON IT, WOMAN.
Sequel, of sorts, to All Things are Relative.
A/N at bottom.
Disclaimer: Still not mine.
"So why exactly are we baking a cake for James's birthday? He's never going to want to eat it."
"Of course he will," Sirius replied, flicking on the light switch on the oven and peering in.
"Padfoot, we practically had sex, rolling around in Wormtail's cake batter, and Prongs witnessed it. He's not going to want to eat anything we make ever again."
"Well, that's why Peter's here, innit? And it wasn't sex. It was manly wrestling. Honestly, Remus, you are a girl."
Peter looked up from the cookbook he was leafing through. "So that's why the cake tasted funny."
"Well, that or the fact that Sirius decided to use his wand in lieu of a whisk."
"Or it might have been all the firewhiskey you drank."
"Or the fact that neither of you can cook?" Peter grinned. "What'd you think about white chocolate icing then?" he said, pointing at a page in the cookbook.
"Looks good. Do you reckon James can handle all that chocolate though? He does get a bit..." Remus trailed off, giving Sirius a sideways glance.
"Remus, cupcake of my heart, there is nothing James loves more than chocolate. Except maybe Evans covered in chocolate. And since the redheaded harpy cruelly refused to listen to my plans to make her a bikini out of chocolate frosting and then jump out of this cake, the white chocolate icing will have to do." Sirius said, clapping Remus on the back.
"Should've let me ask her. She might have agreed to carry the cake to him, at least."
"What, and risk her throwing it on him? No. Even if she would've agreed because of her enormous lust for you and your jumpers and your books and your mooniness, it is not worth losing you to her siren call. Then I would have two friends who are completely around the twist, and only poor Peter to listen to my romance woes."
"You, the great Sirius Black, have romance woes? Impossible."
"The great love of my life won't agree to go out with me. I call those woes." Sirius said, looking balefully, or perhaps longingly, (impossible to tell with those Blacks) at Remus.
"Sirius, I hardly think that McGonagall refusing to go out with you is a woe. Entirely appropriate, but not a woe. Peter. Peter, where are you going? Why are you leaving me alone with this madman?" Remus despaired as Peter tried to sneak out of the kitchens.
"I've a study date with Helen, Remus. The frosting's on the counter, and wait an hour to frost the cake after you've pulled the cake out."
"Is that that Hufflepuff with the big knockers? Spot on Wormtail!" Sirius grinned.
"You already made the frosting? That was fast." Remus remarked.
"Yes, well, anything goes fast when you two are flirting and you've a Hufflepuff with big knockers to get to."
Remus blushed faintly. "I was not... Oh for heaven's sake, just go. I'll manage this berk here." He said calmly, picking up the frosting bowl to move it away from Sirius who was eying it in a manner that could be called lustful.
"Make sure there's still a cake for tonight, Moony. Because lord knows we haven't got an Evans for him."
"I resent these implications on my character. I am perfectly capable of handling myself around cakes."
"But are you around frosting?" Peter grinned, and slipped out the door.
"I resent those implications on my character." Sirius sulked, repeating himself, as Remus set down the bowl of frosting to switch off the oven timer. He watched as Remus slipped on the oven mitts and set about taking the cake in the oven.
"Have you got a toothpick over there Pads? And Peter can hardly be blamed for speaking the truth. I wouldn't trust you with frosting farther than I could-" Remus stopped, picking up the bowl of frosting to move it farther away from Sirius.
"Toothpick?" Sirius grinned, holding out a frosting covered finger.
A/N: Peter. Oh man. Peter. I might have to defend his characterization. Let's just say that I've suspected that he is not completely worthless for some time. I suspect a lot of his wussiness has to do with being around James and not quite being as awesome as the rest of the Marauders. But in baking, he is far superior, so obviously he is of the confidence there.
hahahahahahahahahaha I am still insane. Just look at this outtake:
"Never will another one of my friends be lost to the female sex. NO. There shall be no more tempting from succubi! Never again!"
This was originally in Sirius's speech about romance woes. Because he was supposed to be mad at Remus for not succumbing to his dubious charms even though he's never directly said anything about Remus being the love of his life. And you know, Remus likes the directness. But that didn't really work, because Sirius is not direct, and Remus still thinks the love of Sirius's life is McGonagall.
And having Remus suck the icing off Sirius's finger didn't really work either. SO. NO PORN FOR YOU.
We are all sad.
A/N 02.03.07: doredy drew me stick figure fanart for her birthday fic and then demanded a sequel. I told her to draw me something and I would write it. Hence the frosting finger porn. And the term. I am blaming her for this. SERIOUSLY.
She will probably just turn around and ask me where her marauder knitting story(porn) is if she ever reads this. I AM WORKING ON IT, WOMAN.