Wow.
I just went through so many emotions.
I went through my last.. say.. 70 posts. Some of the memories were euphoric, and it was clear that I was happy. Some of them were miserable.. so miserable it was even painful reading them.
Now, it's hard to believe that I was ever down. Hard to believe that I would let things get to me like that. You know what it is? I'm wiser. I just don't let things happen to me like that anymore. I know better than to involve myself in situations that I'm aware will .. inevitably end badly.
Some of the things I've said and the feelings I've felt were so deep..
It's so different. I'm so much more optomistic. I have so much more faith in myself, so much more confidence. Sure I have my down days and confusion--everyone does--but, I can honestly say to myself that I really know who I am now, and better yet, that I'm happy with who I am.
Another thing I realized is that.. I am an IDIOT. I mentioned that I still love Nick in one way or another. After reading all of those posts, and reviewing the cruelty of his person, I found out that I do not love Nick, but I love what he has given to me. He gave me the chance to travel, and see the beautiful parts of the East Coast to the Midwest, he gave me my first road trip, he gave me courage, he gave me thicker skin, he gave me a wiser mind, he gave me a window to the real him, so that I would know it wasn't meant to be.. and believe it or not, he gave me a lot of wonderful, once-in-a-life-time memories. That is what I love. Not him.
I went through my last.. say.. 70 posts. Some of the memories were euphoric, and it was clear that I was happy. Some of them were miserable.. so miserable it was even painful reading them.
Now, it's hard to believe that I was ever down. Hard to believe that I would let things get to me like that. You know what it is? I'm wiser. I just don't let things happen to me like that anymore. I know better than to involve myself in situations that I'm aware will .. inevitably end badly.
Some of the things I've said and the feelings I've felt were so deep..
It's so different. I'm so much more optomistic. I have so much more faith in myself, so much more confidence. Sure I have my down days and confusion--everyone does--but, I can honestly say to myself that I really know who I am now, and better yet, that I'm happy with who I am.
Another thing I realized is that.. I am an IDIOT. I mentioned that I still love Nick in one way or another. After reading all of those posts, and reviewing the cruelty of his person, I found out that I do not love Nick, but I love what he has given to me. He gave me the chance to travel, and see the beautiful parts of the East Coast to the Midwest, he gave me my first road trip, he gave me courage, he gave me thicker skin, he gave me a wiser mind, he gave me a window to the real him, so that I would know it wasn't meant to be.. and believe it or not, he gave me a lot of wonderful, once-in-a-life-time memories. That is what I love. Not him.