(no subject)
Today at the MS Clinic, I told the doctor who runs the study that I've been having some vision and concentration issues. I described them, and he leaned back in his chair, frowning at my evaluation form and looking thoughtful. He sat like that for a few minutes.
I tried to guess what he might be getting ready to tell me. Maybe he was going to say that I am at risk not for MS but for neuromyelitis optica. Maybe he was going to say that I should be given steroids again, and taken out of the study. Maybe he was going to say that my last MRI had showed new brain lesions. Finally, he exhaled and looked up at me.
"This form just doesn't make any sense," he said. "I can't figure out how to fill it out."
Oh, see, I thought you were thinking about me.
Anyway, turns out that there's nothing to worry about yet with the vision and concentration stuff, so that's good. It was a long, disjointed appointment, with much confusion due to the fact that there was another woman there for my study today, too. Usually it's just one person at a time. The other girl had her mom there, and they both seemed highly anxious. I encountered them at the MS Center and at the MRI center. The mom waited the whole time the girl was in there getting her MRI, which kind of struck me.
It made me question whether I'm getting a raw deal on the family support side. But I don't really feel like I am. It has been a long time since anyone in my family was involved with my life in that kind of way, and I don't really feel like it's missing. And a lot of my friends have the same kind of independence from family. But sometimes I see people with their parents, like today, or when they move into a new place and someone comes to help set them up, and I'm like, would it be better if my life was like that?
Regardless, the MRI technician would still have had to put the IV in my hand today instead of my crap-ass arm veins. But maybe if I had with another person, I wouldn't have decided to kill some time between the blood lab and the MRI center in the med school bookstore, reading about the psychology of serial killers. Which was a mistake, because I had plenty of time to mull it all over in the MRI machine afterwards.
I tried to guess what he might be getting ready to tell me. Maybe he was going to say that I am at risk not for MS but for neuromyelitis optica. Maybe he was going to say that I should be given steroids again, and taken out of the study. Maybe he was going to say that my last MRI had showed new brain lesions. Finally, he exhaled and looked up at me.
"This form just doesn't make any sense," he said. "I can't figure out how to fill it out."
Oh, see, I thought you were thinking about me.
Anyway, turns out that there's nothing to worry about yet with the vision and concentration stuff, so that's good. It was a long, disjointed appointment, with much confusion due to the fact that there was another woman there for my study today, too. Usually it's just one person at a time. The other girl had her mom there, and they both seemed highly anxious. I encountered them at the MS Center and at the MRI center. The mom waited the whole time the girl was in there getting her MRI, which kind of struck me.
It made me question whether I'm getting a raw deal on the family support side. But I don't really feel like I am. It has been a long time since anyone in my family was involved with my life in that kind of way, and I don't really feel like it's missing. And a lot of my friends have the same kind of independence from family. But sometimes I see people with their parents, like today, or when they move into a new place and someone comes to help set them up, and I'm like, would it be better if my life was like that?
Regardless, the MRI technician would still have had to put the IV in my hand today instead of my crap-ass arm veins. But maybe if I had with another person, I wouldn't have decided to kill some time between the blood lab and the MRI center in the med school bookstore, reading about the psychology of serial killers. Which was a mistake, because I had plenty of time to mull it all over in the MRI machine afterwards.