(no subject)
i'm sick of vermont, and i'm sick of unhappiness. i've had nothing but misfortune since coming back up here. and i know i bitch a lot in my livejournal but honestly, it's the only thing i've got up here. so bear with me and if you don't like it, don't read it. it just seems like nothing goes my way up here. every time i think something is going well, it changes and i'm back to square one. at school i'm ostracized for being the "smart kid" because i already know a lot about radiography and i'm older than half the students and younger than the other half so it's hard to find a place to fit in. i'm not saying they're all a bunch of assholes but i do feel a bit left out of everything which probably also has to do with the fact that i live over an hour from the school anyway. on top of that clinical sucked ass, i detested being there pretty much every day of that 15 weeks of hell. and to just make it oh so much more special the fuckers gave me a B which kills my GPA which before then was a 4.0, the first time i've had that since my first C at QU kicked my ass down there. and let's just add in the fact that i've got classes through the summer which sucks, and adds another chunk of driving to my schedule and takes even more money out of my pocket for the gas i spend going up to that shithole of a school in order to fulfill their radiography degree in "two years." bunch of bullshit.
other than school i could bitch about the fact that my best friend from high school hasn't talked to me in months, she's got a baby i've never seen or been invited to see, and my other best friend is multiple states away and going to stay that way until almost July which means i'll be more alone than ever this summer. not like i'll actually have time to socialize, but at least having him here would mean i could at least try to plan a social life. at least Patty at work is helping a little with keeping her eyes peeled for events that we could go to. in July we're going to see the Indigo Girls at the Paramount and towards the end of the month the Rocky Horror Picture Show is playing too, which i'm going to try to weasel out of work early for. but aside from that, i've had shitty relationship luck to boot. first there was the attempt at a long distance relationship with Mike that really shouldn't have happened in the first place and i kick myself for it whenever i think about it. and after that fiasco i tried to hit on one of the guys in the ER at Springfield and ended up getting rebuffed in a rather rude way that made me hate the place even more, and then there's the whole Zach thing that i'm still working on emotionally and probably will be for a while.
it's just all a bunch of shit. one thing after another. nothing seems to go right for me and if something does, it usually turns right back around and bites me in the ass at the end. so i'm just done with it all right now. i just want to get through this school, get my degree, and move on with my life. i don't even know where i'm going right now or where i'm going to be by the end of all of this, but right now i've got a path that i'm being forced to take so i might as well keep going. i just hope i can make it to the end before i go insane...
other than school i could bitch about the fact that my best friend from high school hasn't talked to me in months, she's got a baby i've never seen or been invited to see, and my other best friend is multiple states away and going to stay that way until almost July which means i'll be more alone than ever this summer. not like i'll actually have time to socialize, but at least having him here would mean i could at least try to plan a social life. at least Patty at work is helping a little with keeping her eyes peeled for events that we could go to. in July we're going to see the Indigo Girls at the Paramount and towards the end of the month the Rocky Horror Picture Show is playing too, which i'm going to try to weasel out of work early for. but aside from that, i've had shitty relationship luck to boot. first there was the attempt at a long distance relationship with Mike that really shouldn't have happened in the first place and i kick myself for it whenever i think about it. and after that fiasco i tried to hit on one of the guys in the ER at Springfield and ended up getting rebuffed in a rather rude way that made me hate the place even more, and then there's the whole Zach thing that i'm still working on emotionally and probably will be for a while.
it's just all a bunch of shit. one thing after another. nothing seems to go right for me and if something does, it usually turns right back around and bites me in the ass at the end. so i'm just done with it all right now. i just want to get through this school, get my degree, and move on with my life. i don't even know where i'm going right now or where i'm going to be by the end of all of this, but right now i've got a path that i'm being forced to take so i might as well keep going. i just hope i can make it to the end before i go insane...