Friends and musings
Another day. More thoughts.
Or maybe this is more ramblings. The thoughts aren’t very cohesive at all.
I got to see my friend C a few times over the last month or two before they moved off to the other side of the country. I hadn’t seen C in years and I know they have had a rough time like I have with life. But overall they seem to be doing great. We caught up and talked about a lot of things. The first day we just got lunch and hung out. A few days later I stopped by their place and what was going to be a short visit ended up being hours. And then I saw them the week they left.
It’s so odd to talk to someone who’s having a similar life experience of discovering that you are autistic later in life. C also has come to realize that and it fits for us both.
We talked about how it has shaped our life and the experiences we have had with friends and relationships.
They also used to play solar and all those geeky things we did years ago. We talked about how we missed some of the friends from those days but not the game itself. And how some people we thought were friends didn’t end up actually being friends.
It was just another step in the looking back on my life and reexamining it through a new lens.
I’m sad they moved away right as we reconnected. But maybe they will be back one day.
I’ve not been able to stay connected to a lot of people i wish i had over the years. It does get hard when we all get older and have lives. We all get tired and swept up in the struggle of life. Not that I’ve ever had a lot of close friends. I used to stress about it and let it get the better of me. I would get so upset and feel something was wrong with me. But there wasn’t. I was just autistic and that was off putting to a lot of people. They saw me in a way that wasn’t right as they were looking at my neurodivergent social interactions through a neurotypical lens. So I was odd and strange and perceived as rude or stubborn.
But now I have a few friends who get it. Alex seems to be as neurotypical as they come but he sees me for me. He knows I can be emotional. He knows I can get overwhelmed. He knows I can’t always do what I need to do. But he doesn’t judge me or try to change me. He just accepts me as I am and helps where he can. Shocker. Haha
Anyways. I am just rambling. I am trying to find the energy to reconnect with a few other friends who I do miss. We’ll see how it all goes
Or maybe this is more ramblings. The thoughts aren’t very cohesive at all.
I got to see my friend C a few times over the last month or two before they moved off to the other side of the country. I hadn’t seen C in years and I know they have had a rough time like I have with life. But overall they seem to be doing great. We caught up and talked about a lot of things. The first day we just got lunch and hung out. A few days later I stopped by their place and what was going to be a short visit ended up being hours. And then I saw them the week they left.
It’s so odd to talk to someone who’s having a similar life experience of discovering that you are autistic later in life. C also has come to realize that and it fits for us both.
We talked about how it has shaped our life and the experiences we have had with friends and relationships.
They also used to play solar and all those geeky things we did years ago. We talked about how we missed some of the friends from those days but not the game itself. And how some people we thought were friends didn’t end up actually being friends.
It was just another step in the looking back on my life and reexamining it through a new lens.
I’m sad they moved away right as we reconnected. But maybe they will be back one day.
I’ve not been able to stay connected to a lot of people i wish i had over the years. It does get hard when we all get older and have lives. We all get tired and swept up in the struggle of life. Not that I’ve ever had a lot of close friends. I used to stress about it and let it get the better of me. I would get so upset and feel something was wrong with me. But there wasn’t. I was just autistic and that was off putting to a lot of people. They saw me in a way that wasn’t right as they were looking at my neurodivergent social interactions through a neurotypical lens. So I was odd and strange and perceived as rude or stubborn.
But now I have a few friends who get it. Alex seems to be as neurotypical as they come but he sees me for me. He knows I can be emotional. He knows I can get overwhelmed. He knows I can’t always do what I need to do. But he doesn’t judge me or try to change me. He just accepts me as I am and helps where he can. Shocker. Haha
Anyways. I am just rambling. I am trying to find the energy to reconnect with a few other friends who I do miss. We’ll see how it all goes