Abandoned Again!
WOW! So today was a great day! Brittany just up and left me today. After not talking to me for a couple of days since Ashley got back I found out today from someone else that she dropped out of school. SHe's enrolling in South Houston and living in Pasadena with AShley. For some strange reason she felt the obligation to text message me that but not to even stop by or call me and tell me bye. She knows I have serious abandonment problems and she just left. She just fucking left. After all the talk that she didn't know where she would be without me and how she can't live without me, she just fucking left!! Well I'm heart broken. I don't even know how to react. I'm upset, I'm fucking pissed, but the weird one is I'm happy. I know she's going to be happy living out there and life may perhaps be better for her and I know it's something she at least needs to try, so I'm happy. I just don't understand how you can claim someone means so much to you and you can just leave without saying goodbye. And I thought maybe she didn't say goodbye because it would be to hard, but when I finally talked to her she said it was because she was fed up and just wanted to leave. How do you do that? How can you just forget about everyone because you get pissed off? I could never do that to anyone. I would never want to cause anyone the pain she has caused me. She's hurt me so bad. I feel like I was just a replacement until Ashley got back and now that she's here who the fuck am I and what do I matter. I just can't believe it. I knew something like this was going to happen, but I didn't think to this extreme and I most definately didn't want to be right. I mean she use to bitch about Ashley all the time, saying she was a whore and sleep with all the guys Britt liked and that she does drugs. Why would you want to put yourself around that? If someone intentionally hurts you like that? And then theres me who would never do any of those things and who would never hurt you and you push me off to the side like I'm nothing? WHY? I guess maybe I am nothing. I mean people coem and go all the time maybe there just trying to get me to catch a fucking hint. I mean she was doing good in school, she was making up for last year, she was actually getting her shit together and then she just fucks it all up. I don't understand why? I mean it just doesn't make sense. I know her mom, and her mom is a nice woman, but I don't really know their relationship, but how are you gonna bitch about your mom and then do exactly what she did. It just doesn't make sense, but maybe Britt will jsut learn the hard way. I'd be lieing though if I said I was still going to talk to her. I know I shut people out of my life too quickly, and I turn my back on them too fast, but she hurt me, and won't even apologize or acknowledge it, so I don't want a friend like that. Yeah it will be hard but the way I see it if she cared about me, I mean really cared about me she would have at least called. So if she ever reads this, I want to tell her good luck, i hope you like it there, and I hope you find the happiness you are looking for, however, don't ever look to me for a friend cause when I looked for you, you were already gone. Goodbye Brittany.